Grampy is not home

(8 pm. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

grampy does not live downstairs anymore.  He does not have his workshop to fix things.  He does not have the fun of the summer swimming pool, the deck the dogs jumped into the pool from.  The 4 wheelers, the snowmobiles, the plastic PooBear that automaticaly blew bubbles, or the snowfort igloo maker nor any of those suburban trappings I used to make your life magical and fun.  I have none of this stuff no more.

Yet at two your eyes light up and you scream my name with such excitement.  It is gone now.  Maybe, perhaps we have a year or so left and then what.  Getting new jobs at 55 years of age.  Starting over and that prospect of moving to remote cheaper rural America when ten bucks a gallon gas is imminent?

This baby boomers kids can’t make it like I did.  He won’t have the opportunity I did.  The normalcy I did.  The compassion, the common sense.

What do I think tonight.  How is my mood.

“Have a good one”

Have a good what?

What did you say to me?

“Are you fucking serious or fucking delusional or are you on designer psych meds.

“Have a good one?”

Check out the nuclear rain.

Yeah, that was nasty, even for me.


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  1. dharmasyd

    …and radiation are very real, and dosing us in an unimaginable scenario.  Being an optimist, who seeks always, within reason, to find the way through, I wonder!

    I wonder what percentage of the human species are perhaps being exposed to a sufficiently low dosage at a slow enough rate to allow for an evolution beyond this nightmare.

    Unfortunately, those who are responsible for delivering these dosages are unconscious of the possible results because their great, great hubris is in the way.

    Thank you LHM.  Be well.  Be of the best cheer you can manage.  

  2. Lasthorseman

    Yes and from 3000 sq feet to 300.  30 years in the same place and all of us being super pack rats.  Tools for every trade, parts, boxes upon boxes of family pictures.  The seasonal decorations and the smallest things fill me with tears.  A Christmas snow scene, dated on the back from Heather.

  3. RUKind

    They now or soon will have the greatest weapon ever – denial of water to those downstream countries.

    If you can see Chinese coal pollution stretching across the Pacific to the US then you can be sure that Japanese radiation is doing the same. Plus there’s the Japan Current. Sarah Palin will be able to see Russia glow at night – plus the Aleutians.

    Hell, Santa Cruz is prime territory for nuclear mutants.

    Just sayin’. 😉

  4. Compound F

    I’m moved by Gould’s pathos for Goldschmidt on this one, because it is such an evocative metaphor.  

  5. Lasthorseman

    We are supposed to manifest our own destiny.  Like the song what if God was one of us.  I have my doubts but ultimately I think we are, the numbers total populationwise aside who will see the next golden age.

  6. dharmasyd

    … Gradualism or Sudden Leaps.  

    I only know that I am not willing to accept defeat and the death of the species (and more along with us) just yet.

    When the science rules me out completely, I will make my peace with it all, accept this to be the end of the line…

    …and reside in the peace of the moment…

    …which is what I mostly do now anyway.  

  7. Compound F

    shifting balance approach, wherein gradualism occurs in large Fisherian panmictic orgies, and punctuation occurs in small daughter populations highly susceptible to chance, both being based on the number of potential interactions and mutation rates.

    I think humans might leave a small daughter population after the mass die-off, but who knows?

    I’m not encouraged about our avoiding mass die-off altogether, however.  We’re too systemically (and individually) fucked up to change course, despite being inundated with serious and ominous signs of the need for change we can believe in in the fierce urgency of…Then, the campaign trail boasts and bravado, belief in which only brought that much closer to the impending doom, which is pretty friggin’ imminent if you believed a) your lying eyes, or b) Hank Paulson.

  8. dharmasyd

    …I agree with you.  The indicators do not look good for avoiding mass die-off.  But I’m still holding to that small sliver of hope, the leap!

  9. RUKind

    Don’t forget you still have a planet and the universe. So far.

  10. tahoebasha3

    I hear you!

    How hard it must be to disassemble all that your heartfelt efforts attempted to establish over some 30 years — a whole life being “dismantled” in a sense.  All the sentiments attached to each and every thing, being of those 30 some years.  

    I once was robbed of every bit of jewelry, silver coins, etc. that I owned.  It wasn’t their value that got to me — it was because each and every piece was of sentimental value to me.

    I truly understand the ache in your heart, LH!  To try so hard to establish a “happy” life and then to see it “dissipate” before your eyes is well, I can imagine, overwhelming.

    Is there, in reality, a justifiable reason why this happened to you, and thousands like you?  The answer is NO, there is not.  This country became ensnared, via the PNAC, in the MIC, to which ALL must bow and pay!  You are but one more of the “collateral damage,” resultingly!

    I do, indeed, understand your pain, LH.  But here is something I want to say to you.  All across Amerika, LH, decent, hard-working human beings have seen their foundations slip from beneath them — their fault?  Or a system that promoted their failure?  Whatever! Makes little difference.  Most of who I’m speaking of never enjoyed some 30 years of a “wonderland” for children and even adults.  So many children never, ever get to enjoy a little horse ride in the forests and so on.  Everytime you spoke of these wonderful little adventures, I imagined myself there and enjoying “Grampy!”

    If there is any solace whatsoever I may offer, LH, it is this!  What has happened is by so means right in any sense of the word to you or any hard-working American, so, please, don’t misinterpret what I’m about to say.  I think, at this point, that you, me and so many of us should be happy for all that we were once able to provide our children and be proud in that knowledge!

    Think about all the wonderful things you did, LH!  Be happy, be proud of all the love you put forth!


  11. Lasthorseman

    30 years worth of stuff from three families over the universe of unknown available housing options dictated by local “inspectional services” little Hilter wannbees one can not find ones own stuff.  Yeah I might be a bit hyperbolic but these days one must be trained and certified officially to pick one’s own nose it seems.

  12. Lasthorseman

    Did George Soros approve?  Endorse?

  13. dharmasyd

    …gettin’ there.  And uncertain if and how many!  But, yes.

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