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New Year’s Eve TV Evening

If you have any sense at all you are already safely ensconced wherever you plan to celebrate and are preparing for riotous self-indulgence to celebrate the schadenfreude passing of a year memorable mostly for the milestones of decline into another dark age.

What is more threatening?  Global Thermonuclear War or Warming?

But warming sounds so fuzzy and cute.

Tell it to the Polar Bears, God-less killing machines that they are.  At least you used to be able to duck and cover and kiss your ass goodbye while praying to be fortunate among the blast radius so you’d avoid the dystopian barbarism descending as the Anthropocene Epoch comes to a close.

Shall I set you up again?

Anyway, traveling early and leaving late (tomorrow) allows the best chance of avoiding your own personal Mayan Apocalypse on Amateur Night and that’s one reason I’m disappointed in the entertainment offered.  Where are my Circuses Caesar?

After the Ball drops your best bets are Zombie Apocalypse (AMC), Mayan Apocalyse (National Geographic), Dr. Who so depressing I didn’t even bother to record it (BBCA), Futurama Rapture (Comedy), Julia Roberts whoring for Mitt Romney (Lifetime), and the Twilight Zone (SciFi).

Oh, and Kathy Griffin (Bravo).

You might want to stay snuggled up until tomorrow when we will be liveblogging The Rose Parade at 11 am.

Happy New Year!

This edition covers the 12 hours from 6 pm to 6 am.  Immediate gratification is here.  The previous edition is here.

6 pm

6:30 pm

7 pm

  • Discovery– Fast N’ Loud (until 3 am)
  • MSNBC– Hardball With Chris Matthews (New Year Special)
  • National Geographic– Evacuate Earth
  • SpikeReturn of the Jedi (x 2 until 1:30 am)
  • TNTThe Mentalist (until 11 pm)

7:30 pm

  • ESPN– College Throwball (Chick-fil-A Bowl: Clemson v. LSU)

8 pm

8:30 pm

9 pm

  • AMCThe Walking Dead (until 5 am)
  • Faux Noise– Hannity Special
  • FXGrown Ups (x 2 until midnight)
  • National Geographic– Maya Underworld: The Real Doomsday

9:30 pm

10 pm

  • ABC– Dick Clark’s Primetime New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest 2013
  • NBC– NBC’s New Year’s Eve With Carson Daly
  • PBS– Independent Lens
  • Faux Noise– The Five (New Year’s Special)
  • MSNBC– The Last Word With Lawrence O’Donnell (The Last Word Holiday Party)
  • National Geographic– The Mayan Apocalypse 2012
  • OxygenMr. Deeds
  • Turner ClassicThe Apartment

10:30 pm

11 pm

11:30 pm

  • ABC– Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest 2013 (until 2 am)
  • CBS– David Letterman (12/7 Dustin Hoffman, One Direction)
  • NBC– NBC’s New Year’s Eve With Carson Daly
  • Toon– The Eric Andre New Year’s Eve Spooktacular! (until 12:15 am)
  • VH1– 11:59 pm New Year’s Eve 2013 (7 minute New Year Special)

midnight

12:30 am

1 am

1:30 am

2 am

  • ESPN2– College Throwball (Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl: North Carolina State v. Vanderbilt)
  • Faux Noise– All American New Year
  • MSNBC– Hardball With Chris Matthews (New Year Special)
  • National Geographic– The Mayan Apocalypse 2012
  • ScienceHow It’s Made (until 10:30 am)

2:30 am

3 am

  • MSNBC– The Ed Show (Middle Class Heroes 2012)

3:30 am

  • ESPN– College Throwball (Chick-fil-A Bowl: Clemson v. LSU)

4 am

1 comment

  1. ek hornbeck

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