May 20

Triple Crown: The Middle Child

I was wrong, this is the most racist theme song of the Triple Crown-

Maryland, My Maryland

The despot’s heel is on thy shore,
Maryland!
His torch is at thy temple door,
Maryland!
Avenge the patriotic gore
That flecked the streets of Baltimore,
And be the battle queen of yore,
Maryland! My Maryland!

Hark to an exiled son’s appeal,
Maryland!
My mother State! to thee I kneel,
Maryland!
For life and death, for woe and weal,
Thy peerless chivalry reveal,
And gird thy beauteous limbs with steel,
Maryland! My Maryland!

Thou wilt not cower in the dust,
Maryland!
Thy beaming sword shall never rust,
Maryland!
Remember Carroll’s sacred trust,
Remember Howard’s warlike thrust,-
And all thy slumberers with the just,
Maryland! My Maryland!

Come! ’tis the red dawn of the day,
Maryland!
Come with thy panoplied array,
Maryland!
With Ringgold’s spirit for the fray,
With Watson’s blood at Monterey,
With fearless Lowe and dashing May,
Maryland! My Maryland!

Come! for thy shield is bright and strong,
Maryland!
Come! for thy dalliance does thee wrong,
Maryland!
Come to thine own anointed throng,
Stalking with Liberty along,
And chaunt thy dauntless slogan song,
Maryland! My Maryland!

Dear Mother! burst the tyrant’s chain,
Maryland!
Virginia should not call in vain,
Maryland!
She meets her sisters on the plain-
“Sic semper!” ’tis the proud refrain
That baffles minions back amain,
Maryland! My Maryland!

I see the blush upon thy cheek,
Maryland!
For thou wast ever bravely meek,
Maryland!
But lo! there surges forth a shriek,
From hill to hill, from creek to creek-
Potomac calls to Chesapeake,
Maryland! My Maryland!

Thou wilt not yield the Vandal toll,
Maryland!
Thou wilt not crook to his control,
Maryland!
Better the fire upon thee roll,
Better the blade, the shot, the bowl,
Than crucifixion of the soul,
Maryland! My Maryland!

I hear the distant thunder-hum,
Maryland!
The Old Line’s bugle, fife, and drum,
Maryland!
She is not dead, nor deaf, nor dumb-
Huzza! she spurns the Northern scum!
She breathes! she burns! she’ll come! she’ll come!
Maryland! My Maryland!

So, basically an anthem calling for sedition and treason in support of slavery and the violent overthrow of the duly and democratically elected government of the United States (and the assassination of the President).

And… wait for it… it’s the Official State Song of Maryland!

But it’s ok. They don’t sing the racist parts anymore (it’s all racist).

I know horse people. They say that they’re like big dogs you can ride, only smarter. I wouldn’t claim even to be an amateur myself, though I have ridden in more than a sad circle around a carny. Thoroughbreds are insane and fragile because of the inbreeding, so in some ways it’s like saddling up Caligula or Akhenaten (or if you prefer Amenhotep IV).

Did I ruin your experience?

The race was now getting a frenzied response as Dust Commander began to make the running.  Bangles and jewels rattled on suntanned, wobbling flesh and even the pillar men in suits were now on tip-toe, creased skin under double-chins stretched to the limit into long furrows that curved down into tight collars.

Mouths opened and closed and veins pulsed in unison as the frenzy reached its climax.  One or two slumped back as their horses failed, but the mass hysteria rose to a final orgasmic shriek, at last bubbling over into whoops of joy, hugging and back slapping.  I turned to face the track again, but it was all over.  That was it.

Expect something boring, short, and futile unless someone puts an eye out. Then it will just be fun (or tragic like Oedipus and Gloucester).

Pimlico may be on it’s way out after 145 years. The track is kind of run down and there is another, Laurel, nearby. There are only 12 race days this year compared to 28 in 2016 and 37 the year before.

Preakness Trivia

  • Actually 2 years older than the Kentucky Derby.
  • Shortest in distance (1/16th shorter than the Derby).
  • Only the Derby has a larger attendance.

There have been 36 winners of both the Kentucky Derby and Preakness Stakes including the 12 Triple Crown winners.

Preakness Traditions

Winners don’t get the real Woodlawn Cup to keep, but a half size replica (oh, and the Woodlawn Racing Club is defunct).  Black Eyed Susans don’t bloom until 2 months after the Preakness.  No Black Eyed Susan has ever been used, currently it’s painted Chysthanthemums.  The Old Clubhouse was destroyed in a fire in 1966.  They paint the winner’s racing silks on the weathervane.  No one on the internet knows why it’s called the Alibi Breakfast.

Official Website

I need a drink-

Black Eyed Susan Recipe
(Official, but without the brand names)

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/4 oz. Bourbon (20% of Early Times is aged in used barrels)
  • 3/4 oz. Vodka
  • 3 oz. Sweet and Sour Mix
  • 2 oz. Orange Juice

Preparation:

Fill a highball glass with shaved ice, add the liquors first, then top off with orange juice and sweet and sour mix. Stir and garnish with an orange slice, cherry, and stirrer.

Oh, the race. The track will be cool and dry (as opposed to the mud of the Derby). The New York Times has provided this helpful handicap sheet (Ice Cream! Get your Tutsi Fruitsi Ice Cream!). Melissa Hoppert likes Classic Empire, Always Dreaming, and Cloud Computing, in that order. Joe Drape prefers Classic Empire, Conquest Mo Money, and Always Dreaming.

At least we won’t have to spend hours talking about idiotic hats. Post Time is around 6:45 pm ET on NBC.

8 comments

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  1. Vent Hole

  2. Riders Up

  3. Oh my Maryland

  4. Horsie Parade

  5. 140,327 spectators

  6. At the gate

  7. They’re off

  8. Cloud Computing
    Classic Empire
    Senior Investment

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