Tag: fail

How Fail Art Thou?

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(the 800 lb. deflationary gorilla in the room)

Pretty fucking dumb.

One of the most dazzling things about humans is their ability to simultaneously understand and not understand things.  AT THE SAME TIME!  

Boy, are they stupid!

Here’s an ideal example, which no one will ever remember after the first single millisecond of perfect, cosmic-diamond-bullet-in-the-brain comprehension.

Infinite growth is impossible in a finite world.  That goes for population growth and debt.  And yet, we’ve cantilevered EVERYTHING on the impossible.

Thank you for your time.

Now, go back to fornicating furiously, borrowing at interest, and bailing out the crooks who are too big to bail, jail, or fail.  I’ll be with you shortly.

War Criminal Bush: Go backwards! “I’d do it again”, I did a heckuvajob!

    “Yeah, we waterboarded Khalid Sheikh Mohammed,” Bush told a Grand Rapids audience Wednesday, of the self-professed 9/11 mastermind. “I’d do it again to save lives.”

huffingtonpost.com

Bold text added by the diarist

President Obama says “We can’t go backwards”

Ex-President and Unindicted war criminal George W. Bush is basically saying “Why not go backwards, look at the wonderful legacy I have left you!”

Yeah, those were WAR CRIMES, the kind Reagan forbid and made illegal under US law, but, now that you have reminded us that the only thing in your legacy that you want to remind us of is how torture worked in your book, I say we encourage George W. to keep talking. Keep reminding us of that legacy, Georgie, cause you sure didaheckuvajob.

More below the fold

“I Need A Freakin Job” astroturfing for Breitbart & Corporate America, cause that’s where the $ is

Hat tip to crooksandliars.com

Someone email [email protected], stat.

Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com If you have seen or heard of the “I Need A Freaking Job” billboard in Buffalo, NY that small business man Jeff Baker and his brother put up or the “movement” website they have started, you might have taken it for a grassroots movement.

   And if job creation grows at the rate it is at through the end of the year, More Jobs Might Be Created This Year Than During George W. Bush’s Entire Presidency

   So, the “I Need A Freaking Job” thing might seem genuine, even, dare I say, grassroots.

Except it isn’t, and Jeff Baker’s brother, Scott Baker, works for Andrew Breitbart of Brietbart.tv..

   Houston, we have Corporate astroturf FAIL.

More below the fold

     

The Problem With Elena Kagan Is Your Belly Button. Om Nom Nom



(Written in response to meta at Daily Kos, and published here for your enjoyment ~ Cheers)

That’s right! Your belly button, whoever you are or think you may be

With all respect due to the many, many, many diarists who have already touched upon this subject, I felt the need to masturbate, and since my girlfriend is looking right at me (Sorry, Shiz), a meta diary is as close as I can get.

So here is what is wrong with Elena Kagan in a nutshell, your belly button.

More navel gazing below the fold.

So, a blog entry equals EPIC FAIL. Here’s what to do next

Crossposted at Daily Kos

  Hello.

   Yesterday, I posted a blog entry here at Daily Kos and a few other websites that was, to say the least, not my best work. In fact, it was a total FAIL. Some might even say EPIC.

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    In order to rectify the dis-service done to all by the first erroneous article I had published, I will be posting a full retraction here based on observations and analysis provided by credible sources, but before that, I thought it might be helpful and fun to explore the reasons why blog entries become EPIC FAILs, and what the publishing blogger and commenting bloggers can do should such a situation of EPIC FAIL occur while traversing the intertoobz.

    So, before addressing the aforementioned corrections regarding the EPIC FAIL blog entry that I posted yesterday, lets first turn our attention to what an EPIC FAIL is, and how a blog entry might become one.

What is EPIC FAIL, Alex?

    The following video will explain what exactly a FAIL is and what it takes to make a FAIL Epic, but generally speaking it is any time when one person, group of people or object can not achieve it’s intended purpose or goal. What makes that FAIL Epic is simply how bad the performance is.

    With this in mind, a blog entry, whether a full diary/article or comment, becomes an Epic Fail under the following circumstances.

1.    Not based on fact/reality

2.    Off Topic

3.    Stupid/offensive

4.    Trollish

5.    Other

    I think these 5 examples cover the universe of blog EPIC FAILure perfectly, and though an EPIC FAIL of a blog entry can fall into more than one category, for the ones that just make you shake your head there is always the fifth choice, other, which could just as easily be labelled WTF and no one would know the difference, but I digress. We will cover WTF at some other time, it is a big subject to deal with, and one at a time is enough.

   So, now that you have identified EPIC FAIL in a blog entry, what do you do?

More below the fold . . . .

F@#$ THIS CEO-Monopoly Care! I will NOT pay tribute to the insurance gods

Crossposted at Daily Kos

   Pre- existing conditions? They are still in there, only now, instead of getting denied they get to jack the price up 3X and you’ll be FORCED to buy something, and without competition who are you gonna choose? THEY WILL ALL CHARGE THE SAME CLIMBING PRICE!

    Yearly caps? They are STILL IN THERE!

    Death Panels? For Profit death panels, you betcha.

    And loopholes, loopholes, loopholes!

    I’m sorry, but Obama is NOT FDR. This is NOT the same political climate as when Social Security was passed or when Medicare was passed. Hell, this isn’t even the same century!

    So get over the fact that you have been TOTALLY SCREWED at this point and do something about it. This bill, as it stands, is so poisoned it should be killed and began again from the start, no matter how long and painful it might be. This CAN be dealt with in a year or two when the Conservative Wing of the Democratic part loses in droves, because that is coming one way or another.

    I am PISSED, and you should be pissed too, cause we’re getting SCREWED on this deal. The ONLY winners are the political class and the special interests. Consumers are getting sold down the river.

120% of public think climate scientists lie about global warming says Fox FAIL and Balanced News

 Crossposted at Daily Kos

    I thought mistakes at Fox would have consequences?

    Guess not.

    Last week, Fox and Friends showed a Rasmussen poll graphic revealing that a whopping 120 percent of the American public believes scientists may be falsifying research to support their own theories on global warming:

ThinkProgress.org

    Fox News’ graphics department added together the “very likely” and “somewhat likely” numbers to reach 59 percent, and called that new group “somewhat likely.” Then, for some reason, they threw in the 35 percent “very likely” as their own group, even though they already added that number to the “somewhat likely” percentage. Then they mashed together the “not very likely” and “not likely at all” groups, and threw the 15 percent who were unsure into the waste bin. Voila – 120 percent.

Hat tip to MediaMatters.org

Some Bold text added by the diarist.

    More fun with inventing numbers below the fold . . .  

InhoFAIL insults Boxer: “Get a Life”, then celebrates his own ignorance

Crossposted at Daily Kos

    Call it “Pollution denying”, or “Reality Denying”, it’s all the same to the Professional Liars who are Senate Republicans.

    In a touchdown celebration of “told you so” that is the equivalent of blowing your ACL while dancing after a homerun that went foul, Inhofe proceeds to insult the esteemed Senator from California, Barbara Boxer, by saying “We Won, You Lost, Get a Life.”

    This is what a stupid dick does, he gloats. The fact that he is dead wrong and corrupt just makes it worse.

    Except climate change is FACT, you didn’t win and you’re a stupid towel, James InhoFAIL.

    A transcript and more below the fold.

LOL! Palin Booed by her supporters for quitting book signing halfway through

Crossposted at The Progressive Electorate.com

    Sometimes art imitates life, and as far as fiction goes, “Going Rogue” by Sarah Palin is truly a work of art just as a plate of dinner thrown at the wall can be, in a sense.

   “I’m very disappointed. I think it was very rude. She could have at least apologized, and she didn’t even do that,” said Teresa Hedrick. […]

   “We bought two books from Borders to have our receipt and our wristband to get it signed tonight,” said one woman. “My books are going back to Borders tomorrow.”

   “We gave up our entire workday, stayed in the cold. My kids were crying,” said one man. “They went home with my wife. She was out here in the freezing cold all day. I feel like I don’t want to support Sarah.”



ThinkProgress.org

    Nothing screams Maverick and Leadership louder than throwing supporters under the bus just moments after they bought your crappy ghost written book, does it? How else does one gain the approval of the masses in politics without proving that you are capable of making the tough decisions to get the public’s attention, and then as soon as you have the masses approval, showing the guts to make tough decisions like kicking them to the curb ASAP like the useless, duped saps that they are. That isn’t indifference, it’s political strategery, you betcha. (Written in Palinspeak for any potential RW lurkers)

    Gods, it’s like they cloned Bush as a woman.

    My only guess after hearing of this story is how Fox News will make this look like a crowd of angry protesters railing against the Government.

    Just one more bit of proof that the one thing Sarah Palin does well is quit half way through the job while leaving people mystified as to why people support Sarah Palin in the first place.

FAIL.

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Breaking: Barack Obama is a socialist, Ronald Reagan is the Devil

Crossposted at Daily Kos

    Wall Street must LOVE Socialism, because it is doing great under our new President, who has been declared a socialist by people who think capitalism is what happens when the bank overcharges you for no reason on overdraft fees.

     So, if the wingnuts can say anything about this President and need no facts to prove so, barring any admission that Barack Obama IS a socialist, admits that he does think he is the Messiah after all or somebody finds Sean Hannity’s crystal ball that gives him supernatural powers of clairvoyance, Ronald Reagan logically MUST be the devil.

    Proof? You dare ask for Proof? Well who needs proof when you have a wild imagination and a blackboard to spell it out on, and thus I can prove that Barack Obama wants to kill all the smurfs, is, in fact a sekrit communist muslim, and Ronald Reagan is the devil.

    All below the fold.

Palin denies evolution? You betcha! Also . . . .

Crossposted at Daily Kos

    Someone needs to explain to Sarah why she has a tailbone.

New York Times reviewer Michiko Kakutani writes:

    Elsewhere in this volume, she talks about creationism, saying she “didn’t believe in the theory that human beings – thinking, loving beings – originated from fish that sprouted legs and crawled out of the sea” or from “monkeys who eventually swung down from the trees.” In everything that happens to her, from meeting Todd to her selection by Mr. McCain for the Republican ticket, she sees the hand of God: “My life is in His hands. I encourage readers to do what I did many years ago, invite Him in to take over.”

ThinkProgress.org

    Wow. Just, wow.

    More below the fold.

New meme: The GOP is Sabotaging America’s recovery for political gain. They hope WE fail

Crossposted at Daily Kos

    They don’t just hope HE (President Obama) FAILS, they hope America fails, and they (The Republican party) are helping it happen by obstructing reform and fighting job growing legislation that will help America recover.

    They hope you lose your job and go broke so that you are pissed off and miserable, and they hope this lasts until 2010 and 2012 so you can take it out on the incumbents who are in office, and when we “throw the bums out” Republicans will finally get back the political power that they crave so much.

    The Republican party is sabotaging America’s recovery for political gain.

    This is the new meme that we as Democrats should push in order to expose the elected Republicans for what they are, fake patriots who put politics above the best interests of their own nation.

    More below the fold.

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