I cannot vote for Al Franken

The Franken run for Senator from Minnesota has encountered major headwinds.  Franken is a Liberal legend in most of USA because he has authored several books that had beleaguered progressives cheering a champion who at least attempts to slay evil lairs like O’Reilly and Limbaugh.  Yet somehow this fighting-liberal qualification has not convinced Minnesotans that Al Franken is senatorial timber.

And for good reasons.  Franken grossly underestimated the political realities he faces and in the process has made near-catastrophic blunders.  In no particular order, they are:

1) He has no real political experience.  Being an author is not enough to get you elected Senator–ask Gore Vidal (and Vidal is a MUCH better writer.)  Minnesota is pretty tolerant about what qualifies someone for high office.  We elected Ventura, after all.  But even Ventura had won a couple of mayoral elections.  The DFL has elected such heavyweights as Eugene McCarthy and Paul Wellstone.  Taking a flyer on someone with fewer relevant qualifications than Ventura is chance many folks would rather not take.

2) Ventura demonstrated that Minnesotans hate being embarrassed.  Franken himself went on Letterman to make fun of Ventura’s famous quote in Playboy magazine that if reincarnation were true, he wanted to “come back as a 38DD bra.”  Yet Franken went on Prairie Home Companion and told an utterly filthy joke about a man with a penis growing out of his forehead.  PHC is the sort of thing you listen to with your church-lady grandmother.  If Ventura’s remarks were out of line for a governor, at least they were appropriate for the Playboy reader.  Franken’s “joke” was not only out of line for someone who wants to be a Senator, it was WILDLY inappropriate for the PHC audience.  The idea that someone could be even MORE embarrassing then Ventura is enough to sends shivers of worry throughout the saner parts of Minnesota.

3) Franken’s sense of humor is sure to get him into political trouble.  I happen to love comedians and think their work is important.  From Carlin to Kinnison to Pryor to Chris Rock to Stewart and Colbert and a whole lot more, I have enormous admiration for the folks who make us laugh by telling the unvarnished truth.  But Franken’s humor isn’t like that.  Take Stuart Smally–one of Franken’s enduring characters from SNL.  All of us know people who are just making it through life and have found some measure of hope from 12-step and other self-affirmation programs.  Most of us try to be kind to such people.  Franken made them an object of ridicule.  A career made up, in part, of making fun of the weak is not a big political plus in a nation where the vast majority feels weak to the point of helplessness.

But these are trivial concerns.  Franken’s biggest problem, by FAR, is his record on the Iraq invasion.  Minnesota Democrats have long memories and there are still party activists who remember the pain and anger a war debate caused the Party in 1968 when Eugene McCarty became the center of the movement to end the USA war against the Vietnamese, only to run against pro-war but otherwise Liberal saint Hubert Humphrey.  While it was a source of pride to have the two most important Democratic presidential candidates from little Minnesota, the wounds were so ugly, they were still visible 30 years later.  We take our debates about war and peace VERY seriously around here.

But there was almost no debate among Party regulars over Iraq.  Minnesota Democrats were largely aligned with global opinion on the invasion plans–Saddam Hussein was a tyrant, but a war would not solve anything.  In fact a war would be catastrophic for an already damaged culture.

In my little town, the regulars swung into action.  On my two-block street, six people erected anti-invasion signs at the maximum legal size.  There were SOME Liberate Iraq signs in town but they belonged to known Republicans. 

Since this town has a Lutheran liberal arts college, the Lutheran church was encouraged to take a stand.  They did.  The ELCA issued a strong and clear statement in opposition to an attack on the Iraqis.  The Lutes were not alone–with the notorious exception of the Southern Baptists, every strain of Christianity opposed the invasion (and there aren’t a lot of Southern Baptists in Minnesota).

Then we held our breath over Paul Wellstone.  We knew he was under intense pressure to vote for authorization because he was running for re-election and had been targeted by the Republicans for elimination.  And he HAD buckled and voted for the PATRIOT Act.  His campaign stalled.  The regulars fretted.  Then he voted against authorization.  His poll numbers soared.  The anti-war folks were happy that Senator Dayton and the twin cities congresspersons also voted against authorization, but we were ecstatic about Wellstone–our friend Paul had stood up when it counted!

We were crushed when Wellstone died.  We were outraged when the Republican slime machine trashed his funeral.  We wept when we lost a Senate seat we had already won.  But nothing matched the helpless fury when, against the advice of every sentient being on planet earth, the forces of the United States deliberately began to destroy an ancient civilization and ruin millions of lives. 

And where was our pal Al when my DFL friends were in a state of shocked disappointment and outrage?  Probably somewhere toasting the success of “shock and awe.”  Because Al Franken had somehow convinced himself that this invasion was a good idea.

When asked how he could have come to such an incredibly bad political position, Franken mentions that he was taken in by the persuasive arguments of Gen. Colin Powell at the UN.

Oh! My! Gawd!

Mr. Franken, are you serious?  I watched Powell at the UN.  I howled with laughter when he began to wave around a vial of white powder–claiming it was proof of an biological warfare program.  I called friends and asked, “Can anyone with a pulse believe such obvious bullshit?”  And it was clear that almost no one did.  The UN was NEVER going to authorize an attack on Iraq and Powell’s absurd presentation changed nothing–except apparently in Franken’s head.

Of course, the real reason Powell’s BS went nowhere at the UN is because anyone with even a minimal awareness of what warfare entails knew that an invasion was utterly insane even IF everything Powell said was true.  In order to have believed Powell, one would have to be one of those Americans who thinks war is just football on steroids.  The last sane persons who believed that war solved anything lost their faith because of the Battle of Verdun. 

But Franken probably doesn’t know that–by his own admission, he went to anti-war rallies in college to play with a Frisbee.  He has never been in a war.  He hasn’t even had to treat someone who has been launched through a windshield during a car crash, comforted a child who has watched parents die, or repaired major damage to a house–so he doesn’t even have relevant civilian experience.

But did that stop Al Franken from endorsing a major war crime?  No it did not.  In fact, I am almost certain that an overwhelming majority of the world’s citizens would consider Franken a war criminal when it was explained how he provided Liberal cover for this monstrous and unforgivable act.  If humanity survives that long, the crimes the USA has perpetrated against the people of Iraq will be used as an example of pure evil 1000 years from now.  And Mr. Franken, you are now part of the history of the destruction of a civilization.

So instead of taking responsibility for his actions, Franken would rather have us believe that it was the fault of Powell and PowerPoint.  Hey, I am just an innocent Harvard grad, he might argue.  Who knew wars and occupations can go bad?  Aren’t these things supposed to supervised by professionals?

I stopped listening to his dreary radio program when he claimed for about the 28th time that everything would have worked out splendidly if ONLY they had listened to guys like General Shinseki.

No Al.  That wouldn’t have made a bit of difference.  And you simply MUST understand that.

I am certain Franken’s ideas about Iraq have “evolved” since I turned him off but it was clear when he came to Drinking Liberally last summer, they have not yet “evolved” to the positions where mainstream DFL activists found themselves in 2002.

Exactly WHY would any DFL activist vote for a person who is either profoundly ignorant or grotesquely evil?  Or cowardly.  It was NEVER easier to oppose a war than in 2002.  Yes, there was a lot of the usual cheap propaganda that comes with war fever but it was lame beyond belief.  And even the most minimally aware knew that opposing the assault on Iraq meant that you were joining a huge global throng who agreed with you.

I am sure there are places in USA where Franken would be such an improvement over the local talent, it might forgivable to overlook his obvious foreign policy flaws.  Minnesota is not such a place.  His major competitor is the lawyer who was the first in USA to win big against Big Tobacco.  And he opposed the invasion of Iraq in 2002.

The big fear is that Al Franken will become a junior Joe Lieberman the day after he is elected.  And given his track record on war issues, this fear is probably justified.

Me?  I just wish I would wake up some morning and find that Franken’s cheap publicity stunt has disappeared.  Senator Franken?  Indeed you jest!