The Dem/Rep Candidates React to Gore’s Emmy Award

By this evening, millions of emails messages, flower bouquets, and phone calls had flooded Al Gore’s Nashville, Tennessee office.  Tens of thousands of Gore fans gathered outside on West End Avenue shouting, “We want Gore! We want Gore!” Long known for his Churchillian and graceful command of the English language and consistent with his upbringing, even George W. Bush sent a personal video congratulating Gore on winning the second leg of the Triple Crown 

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once, shame on – shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again.”

The country’s newspaper of record, the Washington Times, noted Mr. Bush’s magnanimous gesture and hailed it as an example of his “impeccable New England manners.”

White House Press Secretary, Dana Perrino, characterized Bush’s reaching out to Gore as evidence of the “incredibly bipartisan and civil tone” that Bush had brought to Washington, DC since 2001.  Senator Trent Lott (R-MS), noted historian and former Republican Senate Majority Leader, chimed in and said that Bush had brought “honor and dignity” to the presidency and though he commended Gore on his win, he reiterated his belief that with Bush as President, the country had been spared all these problems from a potential Gore Presidency.

The presidential candidates, never at a loss for words, joined in and commended Gore for his great victory.  Here’s a sampling of comments from the leading 2008 Democratic contenders

* Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY)

“If I knew then what I know now, I too would have made a documentary, ‘It Takes an Oscar and an Emmy.’ How difficult can it be to win all these awards?”  She then proceeded to describe Rudy Giuliani as the “unthinking man’s Robert Duvall.”

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Robert Duvall or Rudy Giuliani?

 

* Senator Barack Obama (D-IL)

“The audacity of Hillary’s comments leaves me dumbfounded.  Her judgment is not only questionable but given her vast insider experience, it leaves me with the distinct impression that she is unelectable.” 

* Former Senator John Edwards (D-NC)

Strongly disagreeing with both Hillary and Obama, he said, “When elected President in November 2008, I will proceed to pull the health insurance coverage of all politicians.  And for that matter, Robert Duvall’s too.  They can all afford to pay for it out of their own, deep pockets.”

* Governor Bill Richardson (D-NM)

The New Mexico Governor said it was God’s will that Gore be the first political figure to win all these awards.  When asked by singer Melissa Etheridge as to what he thought of Gore being honored by Hollywood elites, he replied in his trademark succint fashion, “It’s their choice.” 

* Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-10th/OH)

“If I’m elected President, I will nationalize the Emmy Awards so as to ensure that no such travesty occurs in the future.  It is an affront to the good citizens of Lothlórien.”

Uncharacteristically, Chris Dodd, Joe Biden, and Mike Gravel declined comment.

The Republican candidates too had plenty to say about Gore’s appearance last night amongst Hollywood’s glitterati

* Former Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R-NYC)

“As a genuine New York Yankees fan, a proud military veteran, and also as a close personal friend of Queen Helen Mirren, I can only say this to Hillary: there is no chance that you’ll ever end up playing that role.”


Queen Helen Mirren

 

* Former Senator Fred Thompson (R-TN)

“As a former B-Grade Hollywood actor, I don’t comment on A-Level achievements.  It is well above my pay grade.”

* Former Governor Mitt Romney (R-MA)

“As a long-time believer in consistency in political life, all I can say is that Gore has deserved all the honors bestowed upon him.”  Reached by a staffer from the Republican National Committee earlier this evening, Romney immediately retracted his comment.

* Senator John McCain (R-AZ)

“As a loyal Republican, I want to fully associate myself with George W. Bush’s articulate remarks.  I applaud his resolve, steadfastness, and commitment to civil discourse.”

* Senator Alan Keyes (R-?)

“As the most successful Senate candidate in our nation’s history — and speaking as Bill Kristol’s saner Harvard University roommate — all I have to say is, “What’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?”


‘Senator for Life’ Alan Keyes Pictured Above
in his Washington, DC Senate Office

As for the other Republican contenders, they were all attending a ‘Second-tier Candidates Debate’ at Bob Jones University in Greenville, South Carolina and could not be reached for comment.

Finally, Associate Justice of the US Supreme Court, Antonin Scalia, condemned the decision not to award the ‘Best Actor’ Emmy to a fellow paisan, James Gandolfini of The Sopranos.  On Gore’s award, his curt reaction was

“Get over it.”

As usual — and displaying his self-effacing brand of humor — Al Gore marveled at the state of domestic politics in the country and harmonious nature of the 2008 Presidential Campaign.  He thanked all these politicians (and Justice Scalia in particular) for their “warm messages and spontaneous outpouring of support.”  When reached late tonight on cell phone by Washington Post reporter and longtime Gore admirer, Ceci Connolly,  Gore declined further comment and would only say, “I’ll have more to say in October.”

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‘The Glow of Victory’ – Al Gore with Joel Hyatt
at the 59th Emmy Awards Last Night

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4 comments

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  1. … I was shocked, shocked at the outpouring of support for Al Gore.  Who Knew?

    Tips or flames in this jar. 

    ps: fearless prediction for the Monday Night Football Game, Washington Redskins 28 – Philadelphia Eagles 14.  🙂

    • pfiore8 on September 18, 2007 at 2:42 am

    and you know something, looking at those bush vids, i have to say… he sounds like a man who’d been drinking

    thanks for the fun J&H…

    • Will2b on September 18, 2007 at 8:37 am

    “Al Gore” is merely an anagram of “galore” – he has too many ideas.  I can’t keep up.  Maybe that’s a good thing.  I drink too much.

  2. Mainly for the campaign button, which I agree with!

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