Oct 13 2007

Let Atlanta Die of Thirst

(Crossposted at the Orange Vortex of All Futility and Despair)

I’m not sure we need to help Atlanta with their water problem. They’ve had more than enough time over the last 7 years of our Glorious Decider’s reign to purge their local government of the anti-American elements that have no doubt worked successfully to deprive Atlanta of access to water at free-market prices. See, this is what happens when you have bloated and corrupt liberal government approach to providing services like water. If people would pay for water, they would have it, it is just that simple. Where are the entrepreneurs towing icebergs from the North and South polar regions? Note to Al Gore: those icebergs are going to melt anyway, why not use them for drinking water? This problem is Atlanta’s to solve. No bleeding-heart liberal water bail-outs for those lazy freeloaders, I say. If they want water, they can pay $1.75 a liter like everybody else from the convenience store. Its these water utilities providing 1000 liters of tap water for 2 cents that are causing these shortages, you know. Things aren’t priced right, there are shortages. Maybe they’ll figure out that dying of thirst is more painful than shelling out a fair market price to Aquafina or Costco.

We need to sell off all these municipal water utilities to private industry. That way, the consumers get the benefit of excellent management (instead of bloated corrupt civil service) and in return they pay a fair price.

But in the meantime, there is no doubt going to be unrest in Atlanta. Large portions of that urban nightmare have never reliably voted Republican, so you can count on trouble. It is a good thing that Blackwater is only a few hours away in North Carolina.

As a pre-emptive measure, I call upon Emperor Bush to declare an emergency of Homeland Security and suspend civil rights in Georgia. Actually, just to be safe, the entire Southeast region should be covered. This is the only way to protect water delivery routes until order can be restored. If you have relatives in the area, advise them to remain calm and stay in their homes until contacted by their DHS Ward Officer.

It is time to pull together for America, folks. Al Qaeda is jusst itching to capitalize on opportunities like this, so be alert but continue shopping. My contacts in DHS have let me know that AQ elements may be tempted to strike at anytime in this current period of unrest. It may be necessary to delay primary elections until the situation is under control. The media will be asked to cooperate in our response to this crisis.

Thank you for your patriotic service.

Help us in this time of crisis, O Great One. We ask this in Bush’s name, Amen.

9 comments

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  1. …a profit opportunity! First, outlaw private wells…

  2. the only way to keep government off the backs of the small business owner.

  3. The reason the people of Atlanta will soon be dropping dead of thirst in the streets is because the fascisiisistical terrorist conservative elements have sabotaged the liberals plan to provide for The Common Good by establishing a Socialist Water System.

    If water from Atlanta were not being shipped off to fight in George ‘the torturer” Bush’s illegal war of aggression, the People of Atlantis would not have to expire of dehydration.

    The invisible hand of the market is whacking you off, Capitalist Running Dog!

  4. most of Atlanta mirrors a certain racial demographic of the hardest-hit sectors of NOLA…  ??

    From 1982 to 1984, Colonel Oliver North assisted FEMA in drafting its civil defense preparations. Details of those plans emerged during the 1987 Iran-Contra scandal. They included executive orders providing for suspension of the Constitution, the imposition of martial law, internment camps, and the turning over of government to the President and FEMA.

    A Miami Herald article on the 5th of July, 1987, reported that the former FEMA director’s, Louis Guiffrida’s, deputy, John Brinkerhoff, handled the martial law portion of the planning. The planning was said to be similar to one Mr. Guiffrida had developed earlier to combat a national uprising by black militants. It provided for the detention of at least 21 million American Negroes in assembly centers or relocation camps. Today, Mr. Brinkerhoff is with the highly influential Anser Institute for Homeland Security. Following a request by the Pentagon in January that the U.S. military be allowed the option of deploying troops on American streets, the institute in February published a paper by Mr. Brinkerhoff arguing the legality of this. He alleged that the Posse Comitatus Act of 1878, which has long been accepted as prohibiting such deployments, had simply been misunderstood and misapplied. The preface to the article also provided the revelation that the national plan he had worked on under Mr. Guiffrida was approved by Reagan and actions were taken to implement it.

    By April, the U.S. military had created a Northern Command to aid homeland security. Reuters reported that the command is mainly expected to play a supporting role to local authorities. However, Mr. Ridge, the Director of Homeland Security, has just advocated a review of U.S. law regarding the use of military for law enforcement duties.

    Disturbingly, and it just really should disturb people, the full facts and contents of Mr. Reagan’s national plan remain uncertain. This is in part because President Bush took the unusual step of sealing the Reagan Presidential papers last November. However, many of the key figures of the Reagan era are part of the present administration, including John Poindexter, to whom Oliver North later reported.  *

    They have a way of making emergencies “happen” in particular communities.

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