The puppy is Ben who is the genetic perfection of a German Shepherd. Ben grew up taking care of Joshua and now he takes care of an autistic boy in upstate New York. The boy is Joshua who is the genetic perfection of a human being and a son, my son.
I awoke this morning to the sound of the dogs barking the “violators” bark outside. They have drained the lake that our subdivision is built around in order to do some work on the dam. The deer need a drink before they bed down for the day so they must walk out into the open and “violate” the dogs acting packish space. Joshua’s upcoming surgical adjustment on the titanium rods in his back is my second thought. He is seven, he is aware of it all now and he is appropriately afraid at times now too. He had giant tears in the car yesterday coming home from school telling his mom about how he is afraid of surgeries.
My son is very physically different from most of the pack of human beings. He was just born that way. He was born with a penis and no extra girl things and he keeps attempting to get a girlfriend at school and even though there aren’t any takers yet he can still get married someday because even though he is genetically a “freak” he was born with only a penis and he seems to be straight……whew! Talk about lucking out huh? He can have equal rights! He might have had to work for them if he was going to be gay or be born physically different in a sexual way but since he wasn’t we are square with the Great Big God now and he can have equal rights. I need to go take my brain out now and wash it!
I have no idea what this diary is. Joshua, I love you forever and getting to be your mom rescued me from a certain sort of national insane asylum. Human beings are born with equal rights until someone takes them away from them. You taught me that and thank you my love. Now I’m going to go take a shower and have a good cry.
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and I’m walking on ground that the great “they” always told me was thin air….
Until the gift that someone left, a basket by my door.
And in there lay the fairest little baby crying to be fed;
I got down on my knees and kissed the moon and star on
his head.
As years went by the boy grew high and the village looked
on in awe.
They’d never seen anything like the boy with the moon and
star before.
And people would ride from far and wide just to seek the
word he spread.
I’ll tell you everything I’ve learned, and Love is all…he said.
from Cat Steven’s The Boy With The Moon And Star On His Head.
I’m still processing the responses to last night’s diary, but thank you for this.
If I could, I’d love to talk to Joshua about his surgeries and fear. But I’m sure his mom is doing a good job with that.
Robyn
how brave the little ones are…
how wonderful y’all had sweet ben for a time…a furry friend can help so much…he’ll always listen… to things you can’t quite say to any unfurry friend…or even mom…and kiss away the tears you can’t show the rest of the world…and lean in to prop you up when your world is crumbling
my sweet Oblio gives me all of that and o so much more
Huge Hugs for you and darling Joshua…i will be thinking happy, brave thoughts for you both on his upcoming surgery
what a handsome old guy and what a cute little one. seeing it, i know that joshua has a strong mom and dad who will see him through anything this world throws at him. i wish him a successful surgery and send hugs and energy your way for an easy and quick recovery….
He’s a brave little boy. Braver than I. I have a significant scoliosis, and a slipped vertebrae. I’m going to need the surgery in the future, and really am not looking forward to it. So he’s far braver than this old woman.
I feel so bad for him, but I’m also glad he is getting the treatment he needs.
Joshua and Ben are both real cuties by the way. 🙂
Bless you and Joshua, and here’s remembering you in these days to come before surgery.
Thank you for the loving courage to tell your story.
Peace in your heart, peace someday for all…
for your beautiful Joshua!
You are a very strong and wonderful mother, Tracy!
I wish you all the best..{{{{{hugsMT}}}}}
Kris
{{{{joshua}}}}
sometimes it really sucks having to be strong when you dont feel it.
some days its ‘to hell with BEING a mommy…I WANT MY MOMMY’…
and yet we soldier on…no pun intended, mt 😉
blessings on the you, on the path youve been placed upon. being joshuas mom is an important job, and you sound like just the mom for it!
I hope all goes well.
is unique and of inestimable value…
your love has touched my heart….
thank you for being the loving being that you are…..
And so are Joshuas. They’re certainly very brave. Thinking about both of you.
Many ‘ugs.
What a kid… what a mom!