Pony Party: Monday NFL Roundup

New England @ Cincinnati, 8:30 p.m. edt, ESPN

As a sports fan, this article frightens me a little; as a woman it offends me to my core.  However, if there is any truth to this:

Amazingly, psychologists have discovered that men and women who have a strong affinity toward a team are more likely to have higher self-esteem, have a truer sense of community, suffer less depression, and are more likely to be associated with groups than are non-fans.  So, in essence, the crazier the sports nut, the more emotionally sound he/she is.

…I’m printing this out and carrying it with me everywhere I go!!!  I’m a little suspicious of the “psychologists have discovered” part, but I may be able to fool SOME people….  😉
The article also offers this advice for ‘football widows’…

Five tips for enjoying football with fanatic friends:

1. Chunk it down. At first learning about football can seem difficult. Don’t try to learn everything all at once. Take time to ask your friends about the game. They will love that you are showing interest, and of course will love talking about their favorite team.

(Visiting ‘The Locker Room’ on Monday nights (check your local recent essays list) might be a good place to get some of your pressing questions answered…..we’ll even talk about your favorite team if you like…)
 

2. Pick a team to learn something about, and read an article or two each week about that team.

(Be sure to visit ‘The Locker Room’ on Monday nights (check your local recent essay list) to show off all the new facts and interesting stories you’ve learned)

3. Find a player on that team you would like to know more about. Drill down into his schooling, family life or aspirations. It is great to know about a teammate, and it helps make the game a bit more personal.

(I don’t know any professional football players personally, but I do know a few professional hockey players….and there is nothing about knowing them or ‘making the game a bit more personal’ that contributes measurably to my enjoyment of the game.  You can probably skip this step.  Plus you’ll probably only find stories about Michael Vick’s tax problems, or Brett Favre’s crappy attitude.)

4. Plan any social engagements around a football game well in advance. This way you will have time to participate in the event, instead of actively hosting the party.

(This advice is wonderful but unnecessary.  Plan C at best.  Plan A is be adorable and fun and get yourself invited to someone else’s party.  Bring beer and salty finger food.  Plan B is to go to a local bar to enjoy the game.  Buy beer and salty finger food.)

5. Look up one play or football topic a week. Soon you will find you are speaking (and understanding) all the football lingo.

(All the ‘speaking and understanding of football lingo’ in the world isn’t going to help you enjoy or even appreciate a sport you dont like.  Better advice is to get yourself involved in one of them mature, adult-type relationships I’m always hearing people talk about….you know, where the 2 people involved have space to like and enjoy different things….)

And I’d like to add a 6th rule, selfishly…

6. Be kind to your friendly “neigh”borhood pony wrangler, who insists on including NFL scores in your Monday morning in”stall”ment.

As always, no rec’s for ponies.  Salary cap issues….  😉

Without further ado, the floor is yours…
~73v