The Dolphins are laughing at us. (Trojan Dolphin!)

This was an elaborate trojan dolphin to make a statement on a well-known blog that supports Chevron. Snuck one past the goalie for Burma.

One of the greatest tricks mankind has every played on himself is convincing himself that he is not animal. Of course, he had to create God, and/or Gods, to pull this feat off, but for some reason he thinks he is not only at the top of the creature pyramid, but he built it himself. Of course, from his perception, it all seems to be true.

But these cleverest of monkeys, who call themselves humans, because knife-wielding homicidal earth-wrecking primates didn’t sound so nice, have only a limited skill set when it comes to truly seeing the world around them. In their quest to fill so superior to all other creatures on the planet, their hubris blinds them from the other way animals see, talk and live.


Take birds, who can see the magnetic fields of the earth. They use them to navigate thousands of miles for their summer and winter homes. They appear like overwhelming colorfasts in the sky, highways in the skies man will never be able to see.

There are also cats, who can peek around the veils of time and dimensions to see spirits and transistent beings, which is why the Egyptians kept them around. So while felines get a bad wrap for hanging around witches and what not, they will forever hold the secrets to transdimensional vision because of man’s arrogance that such things can exist if man is not able to do so.

Which is why the dolphins are laughing at us.

Besides the pleasuredomes the Dolphins have made at the furtherest deeps of the oceans, they have also completed incredible portals that allow them to go off-world at their leisure. Their complex world is full of intergalactic adventures, dialogues with other worldly beings and more mundane stuff like trying to convince the clever monkeys they are full of shit.

The dolphin missionaries have had little success in their dealings with man, usually forced to try and convey they are intelligent by doing backflips for tuna. While man considers this his dominance over the dolphins, the dolphins view their work in aquarium shows as nothing more than tent revivals to help the ignorant unwashed natives understand that all animals have abilities beyond the imagination of other creatures.

So while man debates if dolphins can communicate with each other, the dolphins are involved in full discourse with alien life forms about how to save our planet. While man debates what dolphins could do with opposable thumbs, the dolphins are moving things with their minds. While man considers exactly where dolphins sit in the chain of command on earth, the dolphins have agreed man is above canines, but definitely below parrots.

But the dolphins do know, if man gets to much more uppity with his wars, his famines, his pollution or his inability to control his species population, they will step in and bring him down on a notch like they did to Atlantis.

Because he who laughs last, laughs best, and the dolphins will be laughing at man.

36 comments

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  1. its good to see your name.  hope things are well in your world.

  2. Since it’s bound to be said somewhere in the comments here, I will (try to) be the first…

    I for one bow down to our new dolphin overlords.

    Fun essay, PT. How’s the book coming along?

    • sometv on October 9, 2007 at 9:21 pm

    Troncones, Guerrero MX, I usually stay at the Casa Delfin Sonriente where I have yet to see a dolphin smile at me.  Miss it though immensely and am jonesing for a trip to Mexico.  Saw some sharks the other day scooting around the shore break when I was surfing El Porto and they seemed pretty happy.  Schools of them swimming about.  Of course I was standing above them on my surfboard, yet to see a water creature fly a jumbo jet.

    • Turkana on October 9, 2007 at 9:22 pm

    you should check pico’s lit for kossacks, on karel capek. capek’s “war with the newts” was along this line.

    david byrne:

    I’m mad…And that’s a fact
    I found out…Animals don’t help
    Animal think…They’re pretty smart
    Shit on the ground…See in the dark….

    I know the animals…Are laughing at us
    They don’t even know…What a joke is
    I won’t follow…Animal’s advice
    I don’t care…If they’re laughing at us….

    They say they don’t need money
    They’re living on nuts and berries
    They say animals don’t worry
    You know animals are hairy?
    They think they know what’s best
    They’re making a fool of us
    They ought to be more careful
    They’re setting a bad example
    They have untroubled lives
    They think everything’s nice
    They like to laugh at people
    They’re setting a bad example
    (Go ahead) Laugh at me.

    • nocatz on October 9, 2007 at 9:26 pm
  3. heh

  4. a good one.

  5. It’s very good to see your writing again, tejano.

    I’m so jealous.  They say under the surface of any compulsive reader you’ll find a
    frustrated writer.  Me to a tee.

  6. This reminded me of John Lilly – he did a lot of research on dolphin communication.  They really are the more advanced species. 

    “During a session in an isolation tank, constructed over a pool where dolphins were swimming, I participated in a converstion between the dolphins. It drove me crazy, there was too much information, they communicated so fast…” –JCL


    (taken from the Lilly website linked above)

    • pfiore8 on October 9, 2007 at 11:00 pm

    in San Diego… hanging around an outdoor pool with a bunch of other dolphins

    swimming circles, swimming in circles, observing me and others looking at them

    i kept reaching over the rim… come here please… i just want to touch you, look in your eyes, get to know you just a little

    and it happened… sliding by, one of them stopped and allowed me to touch him::: ooooh, hello … then he was off again and for several minutes, he kept coming back just to me. i couldn’t believe how like hard rubber he felt, how shiny and fast he was…

    one more pass. i could see him watching me and i was happy, waiting for the next encounter when he used his tail to scoop up what must have been buckets of water… and I was drenched… the other humans laughed. I was delighted, got one last smile in his direction and went walking on

  7. Smarmy superior assholes!

    We’ll show them, by gum!

    • Turkana on October 10, 2007 at 1:55 am

    we’d rec list that even without the dolphins!

  8. that distinguishes the human from all other species, perhaps related to its lifelong nakedness, vulnerability and constant need for intense shelter.  Not making architecture, not communication, and certainly not ethics.  What is different about the human:  they make fire.

    Does anything else make fire?  Nothing else is stupid enough, is it?

    Extreme perversions of fire include electricity, oil exploitation, planet destruction, guns and all weapons. 

    The day another agent of fire-making emerges, the human race will buckle at the knees.

  9. More dolphins, but in a fan-fic/sci-fi/multi-universe/Trekkie sort of way…

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