There doesn’t seem to be any way to reserve full rights here, so I’ve pulled the drafts, but left your comments. Thanks to those who read, critiqued and commented.
Nov 04 2007
Nov 04 2007
There doesn’t seem to be any way to reserve full rights here, so I’ve pulled the drafts, but left your comments. Thanks to those who read, critiqued and commented.
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And please be harsh critics. How are the characters? Is the plot interesting? Believable? What’s the ho hum factor? How’s the dialogue? The setting? Anything that catches your eye or causes uncontrollable nausea?
Thanks-
This:
is confusing to me, aek, specially the last sentence. Maybe “during tonights
1900…” I don’t really know how to fix it, but I had to read it three times to figure it out.
informed:of OR filled-in:on
I really like Joyce and Robin…the rest weren’t there long enough for me like or not. I think its a Great story line, shit, accidents happen every day so its certainly believable…I like how you’re putting in all the ‘X is approved by insurance’ type descriptions.
The dialog/setting is very believable to me, but I don’t work in medical field…it sounds accurate though.
I really like it much better now I’ve ‘seen’ the first part!
Very Very Good aek, I’m anxiously awaiting the next part!
I love it. This kind of extreme attention to detail without focusing on any characters or plot is very unconventional, but I like it like that. It’s unbalancing and confusing, which is exactly how that sort of scene should feel.
In fact, it’s almost a disappointment once the plot starts kicking in. Although that’s unavoidable unless you want a constant stream of action with no anchor for your readers.
The medical details are accurate and the participants talk the talk in a realistic way. I find it very fucking irritating especially on TV the way medical stuff is just plain wrong.
🙂 And someone who can make sure he reads it should send the ms. to Michael Moore.