The SeaMonkey Underground

(Please…think of the Sea Monkey children…. @6 – promoted by buhdydharma )

As you may recall, my SeaMonkeys went missing.  I alerted the media and there was some initial interest… until they asked me if any of the SeaMonkeys were blond. I said that I didn’t know and they hung up.

I was devastated, but I pulled myself together. I ordered a Chia Pet (AS Seen On TV) to help me through the tough times. Unfortunately, after the green hair grew out, the damned thing looked like a drunken Bill Clinton after a St. Patrick’s Day Party gone wrong. Now I like Bill but it was too spooky having his head sitting there on my coffee table staring at me. So spooky in fact, I put it in the closet.

It was then that I noticed that the SeaMonkey Aquarium I had previously  abandoned in the dark closet had changed.

It was glowing….

…and I could hear music coming from from the tank.  Placing my ear against the glass, I could hear the familiar chords of “All You Need IS Love” by the Beatles.

  I raced into my bedroom, opened the top dresser drawer and saw the hermetically sealed box containing my “Emergency Hit of Orange Sunshine”.  I open the lid and was relieved to see that it was still inside. I hadn’t absentmindedly taken it.  This was reality. Reality had been so twisted in the past few years, that sometimes I need to double check. I triple checked Reality by looking at the newspaper. Baghdad-20 Headless Corpses Found… Yup, Reality.

  I grabbed my magnifying glass from the drawer where I keep all my cool shit and returned to the aquarium.

Here’s what I saw…

(Which freaked me the fuck out)
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…and here’s what he saw…

(Which really freaked him out)-
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The little fella quickly burrowed into the gravel floor of the tank.

I ran back to the heretofore previously mentioned upper dresser drawer and retrieved my special tweezers (you know the ones)and raced back huffing and puffing. I hadn’t had this much exercise since the bats got into my apartment.

Carefully I probed, and to my surprise discovered a subterranean SeaMonkey World.  I could see thousands of them cowering beneath the stones in little caves and tunnels.  Oddly, they were dressed in tie dyed shirts and other colorful trendy clothes, many had grown long hair, some wore beads.

To show them I meant no harm, I flashed them a peace sign.  They seemed relieved and one nervously swam to the top of the tank. He was cool.

He poked his head above the surface and began to speak. I couldn’t hear him clearly due to his diminutive size and the fact that I had gone to a Black Sabbath Concert back in the 70’s, so again I returned to the dresser drawer of delights.  It was there, my Mr. Microphone (As Seen On TV).

I quickly replaced the batteries (I hadn’t used it since I yelled at some good lookin’ chick in 1979.  I told her I’d be back for her later), and dialed the proper frequency on my FM radio.

Returning to the tank, I placed the mic next to his little SeaMonkey mouth and softly asked him, “What’s happening, Dude?”

I’ll tell you what he told me…tomorrow (or the next day maybe)