there are times for anger. and action. there are times for confusion and catastrophe. there used to be… time for love.
yet is seems much of my time has been spent feeling overcome by the weight of so many bad things happening all at once that it….
… makes me forget why i’m so angry… because i love.
or why i feel this need to fight against changing winds, rising seas, cultural hatred, and eve_vree_thing else that darkens the sun… because i love
it makes me forget that i love so many things.
like…
breathing. entangled next to another, breathing in and out together in a graceful duet
and
laughing. tickling my nephews, talking about farts, and blowing soda through straws… bam, gotcha. oops, sister comes in yelling about our mess and we pretend to be scared and laughing and scurrying.
or
crying. with my sisters at a really really really sad movie. snotty-nosed, no tissues as tears drip along the tips of our noses… feeling like love has been clarifyied and we promise not to forget the moment .
oh yes
eating. dinner cooked by my father and eaten with people i love. food that has so much rhythm and love in it… completely balanced by political arguments and breakthrough sentiment
like
my dutchman. laughing, flirting, kissing, holding hands. working out all this life stuff together.
and
my dog. my old dog. a little crippled but a lot of attitude. love to kiss him on the smuppy nose.
or
friends. dinner. talking. shopping. being there when you need each other.
it’s
writing. finding my thoughts. squeezing the words out of my brain. or catching them as they fall from my mind.
i am wired for it
i can’t tell you exactly what love is. it is a verb, an action. giving it is a completing act.
believe it or not, i never heard this song from Peter Gabriel until last night…
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things in this life is and will be the most sustainable, despite all else!
…and to write about those dreams, but there is just too much sadness interfering in that right now.
So I’m not sure what I am going to write about for tomorrow evening. Maybe it will be something about unrequited dreams…about days that I will never see and what they might be like. If I can imagine a better day, maybe I can try to live as if it is in this herenow.
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one of my favorite movie and sound tracks…
my favorite movie…this week
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opened a door and walked into the room… his voice coming from the stereo and i was done… oh, it’s oh so peaceful here and a young Kenny Rankin
I love waking up, and having the first thing I see be a beautiful woman in the bed with me that I really care about. And being all wrapped up in and with her…that really is a very special kind of warmth….
Waking up alone sucks, btw! Heh…I think I need a dog or something for right now…
🙂
I love spending a day at work, and thinking about a special person all day long and then rushing home at the end of the day because I can’t wait to see her and be near her again….
Or being a very long distance away, but making your way out back to her and spending the whole time on the train thinking….about just everything…..and your whole damned life passes in front of your eyes and you say to yourself “This time it’ll be different – this time things will go right…”
I love having hope, misplaced or misguided though it may be…
It’s a great feeling, and if nothing else at least you know you’re still very much alive if you can experience ‘hope’….
I love when I’m thinking about somebody on the bus or train and then by some strange cosmic coincidence a song comes on my iPod’s shuffle that describes exactly how I’m feeling…
…………..
I *really* love my niece.
She’s going to draw me a picture soon, and mail it to me!
Imagine that! Somebody drawing *me* a picture!
🙂
…………..
I once felt loved by somebody, but that was a very long time ago…
I do love myself, though!
And okay, yeah – I love beer and College Football, as well – but not quite in the same way….heh…
🙂
…………..
I’m glad you have all those things, p. And memories! I’m really happy for you….
My memories have always been ‘mixed’, and my childhood wasn’t very happy…
I do, however, love my ability to take it all in stride and look forward to a new day! Or one day soon, at least….
…………..
One day, I’ll write 37,000 words here…
🙂