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(Tuesday’s Episode….and you can read all the episodes by clicking on the tag!)
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And that wonderful thing was a nipple.
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Some of this disorientation and confusion was fading, just enough that he could feel both of himself. The self that was now a newborn baby, and the self that was his floating above self. What he was beginning to think/feel/be, as his overself….an…..observer?
And fighting to stay in that more familiar, thinking, of the two selves instead of returning to the tiny infant self he also occupied that really only felt….but as soon as the thinking self thought of the tiny infant self….he was back in the tiny brown body. The nipple in his mouth and sucking in life and warmth and …….nourishment. Sucking hungrily didn’t even begin to describe the feeling. He wasn’t hungry, he wasn’t eating or drinking, it wasn’t food or milk that he was transferring from the nipple into this tinyfragilenew ……..separate….. body.
It was Life.
And as he grew fuller of it…
….as the feeling of hanging over the empty terrible yawning gaping well of fear of being separate left his body in exactly the same proportion as the Life entered it ….he returned to the overself, the thinking, observing, but disembodied self. And the first thing he realized was that it was the fear that allowed that. The lack of fear, to be more precise. The less fear the tiny body had, the more he could be the observer. And the more he could be the disembodied observer and still survive, the more the fear lessened….the more he could start to get a handle on experiencing both, being both selves and feed back reassurance from his….larger…self, to the tiny just borned self that was sucking in Life…as if its life depended on it. And then, just as his selves were starting to come more together and he realized he was making the same little clucking noise his mother used to make to him and was in fact making right now as he sucked the freely and lovingly given Life out of her and into his tiny body and he was doing all he could to reassure and comfort the now melding selves, just as he began to feel as if they wouldn’t fall endlessly into the empty terrible yawning gaping well of non-existence…
……………….a most terrible thing happened.
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Other than that … great installment as usual.
He’s got a gun pointed to his head and then he is disembodied and then he’s two people, one of them a baby and one maybe still disembodied and then he’s juggling these entities in a head that is I don’t know where …
… and yet you have not said if HE GOT SHOT!
and why his partner got shot and all the other people I already got to know and now they’re just gone and I won’t find out anything else about them?
And this is not even to mention the chicken and booze and Iglesia!
(if you think this is bad, you should have seen what I’d say to my dad when he would tell me serial bedtime stories … and all the fuck he’d do is say smugly “next chapter tomorrow!”)
You are bringing back memories … ya bastage.
I am gonna be highly irritated.
it’s like being high.
and read every episode