Ribaldry

Hell, if you have to ask what that word means, then you probably are too young to be reading this.

Just so that folks coming here don’t think we’re all a bunch of prissy little pure angels (lol lol), I thought I should post some ribaldry for the holiday season on the theme of “we work hard … we play hard … we are bloggers!”

Or something like that.

Wrote a ribald song the other night and recorded it on Gabcast today — as usual, it’s a recording without music over the telephone, so any intrepid listener should turn down the volume due to possible sound distortion.  It is Episode #6, so just hit the “play button” next to Episode 6 and you’ll be all set.  Here’s the link:

Gabcast! Auld Manhattoe #6

And here’s the lyrics:

15 MEN IN 30 DAYS

by Nightprowlkitty

she was a terrible woman

the way she loved her men

she treated them like candy

oh yes, she did … and then

she’d toss the box aside

and catch another ride

and when I asked her

to explain,

she sang me this refrain

-chorus-

I want 15 men in 30 days

girl, you’re asking me why?

cause I can get ’em

and I can love ’em

till the day I die.

I want 15 men in 30 days

And I’m not playin’ you wise

cause I want ’em

and I can find ’em

like a crackerjack surprise!

-end chorus-

She was a terrible woman

the way she loved her men

but when I listened to her story

I remembered way back when

I’d toss the box aside

and catch another ride

and when they asked me

to explain,

I’d sing the same refrain.

-back to chorus-

‘Course I am but a mere amateur at ribaldry.  Here is a veritable Maestro!  None other than the divine Bull Moose Jackson, singing “Big Ten Inch Record”

Have a bit of ribaldry for the holidays!  :-p

15 comments

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  1. … I love social justice doesn’t mean I don’t like to have a good time.

    Hmph.

  2. I could handle a little ribaldry in my life these days. LOL

    The one that emitomizes that for me is Miss Etta

    • nocatz on December 25, 2007 at 01:34

    not sure who this dude is, but it’s the only YT with the Dominoes original.

    also posted earlier in Faheymans E.D. essay.

    • nocatz on December 25, 2007 at 03:45

    gosh I love you-tube….and Jack Dupree.  I can’t play for shit, and don’t have 1/10th the personality, but it was The Champ that practically MADE me start bangin on the piano.

    • pfiore8 on December 25, 2007 at 19:23

    for an evening in manhattan with srkpy… cause we’d have a blast!!!

    • Zwoof on December 26, 2007 at 02:54

    here are the lyrics of the raunchiest of all IMO

    I think this is the tune that sent Tipper Gore into a tizzy.

    I couldn’t say where she’s coming’ from,

    But i just met a lady named dinah-moe humm

    She stroll on over, say look here, bum,

    I got a forty dollar bill say you can’t make me cum

    (y’jes can’t do it)

    She made a bet with her sister who’s a little dumb

    She could prove it any time all men was scum

    I don’t mind that she called me a bum,

    But i knew right away she was really gonna cum

    (so i got down to it)

    I whipped off her bloomers’n stiffened my thumb

    An’ applied rotation on her sugar plum

    I poked’n stroked till my wrist got numb

    But i still didn’t hear no dinah-moe humm,

    Dinah-moe humm

    Dinah-moe humm

    Dinah-moe humm

    Where this dinah-moe

    Comin’ from

    Done spent three hours

    An’ i ain’t got a crumb

    From the dinah-moe, dinah-moe, dinah-moe

    From the dinah-moe humm

    I got a spot that gets me hot

    But you ain’t been to it

    I got a spot that gets me hot

    But you ain’t been to it

    I got a spot that gets me hot

    But you ain’t been to it

    I got a spot that gets me hot

    But you ain’t been to it

    ’cause i can’t get into it

    Unless i get out of it

    An’ i gotta get out of it

    Before i get into it

    ’cause i never get into it

    Unless i get out of it

    An’ i gotta be out of it

    To get myself into it

    (she looked over at me with a glazed eye

    And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area

    And she said…)

    Just get me wasted

    An’ you’re half-way there

    ’cause if my mind’s tore up

    Then my body don’t care

    I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin

    An’ said my-my-my

    What sort of thing

    Might this lady get high upon?

    I checked out her sister

    Who was holdin’ the bet

    An’ wondered what kind of trip

    The young lady was on

    The forty dollar bill didn’t matter no more

    When her sister got nekkid an’ laid on the floor

    She said dinah-moe might win the bet

    But she could use a little ——- if i wasn’t done yet

    I told her…

    Just because the sun

    Want a place in the sky

    No reason to assume

    I wouldn’t give her a try

    So i pulled on her hair

    Got her legs in the air

    An’ asked if she had any cooties on there

    (whaddya mean cooties! no cooties on me!)

    She was buns-up kneelin’

    Buns up!

    I was wheelin’ an dealin’

    Wheelin’ an’ dealin’ an ooooh!

    She surrended to the feelin’

    She sweetly surrendered

    An’ she started in to squealin’

    Dinah-moe watched from the edge of the bed

    With her lips just a-twitchin’ an’ her face gone red

    Some drool rollin’ down

    From the edge of her chin

    While she spied the condition

    Her sister was in

    She quivered ‘n quaked

    An’ clutched at herself

    While her sister made a joke

    ’bout her mental health

    ’till dinah-moe finally

    Did give in

    But i told her

    All she really needed

    Was some discipline…

    Kiss my aura…dora…

    M-m-m…it’s real angora

    Would y’all like some more-a?

    Right here on the flora?

    An’ how ’bout you, fauna?

    Y’wanna?

    Mmm…sound like y’might be chokin’ on somethin’

    Did you say you want some more?

    Well, here’s some more…

    Mmm, sure…listen

    D’you think i could interest you

    In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?

    Mmm…tweezers!

    Here, lemme sterilize ’em…

    Gimme your lighter…

    I couldn’t say where she’s coming’ from,

    But i just met a lady named dinah-moe humm

    She stroll on over, say look here, bum,

    I got a forty dollar bill say you can’t make me cum

    (y’jes can’t do it)

    I whipped off her bloomers’n stiffened my thumb

    An’ applied rotation on her sugar plum

    I poked’n stroked till my wrist got numb

    An’ you know i heard some dinah-moe humm,

    Dinah-moe humm

    Dinah-moe

    Dinah-moe

    Dinah-moe

    Dinah-moe

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