After a Bountiful and Peaceful Christmas, spent on the bosoms of our families, it is time to face the bad news….another whole year is about to be thrust upon us.
AND THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!
So it is time to share our predictions and impressions of what we we think the New Year will bring.
And this is also a chance to share our New Years Resolutions. My predictions and resolution below the fold…
1) This year will be 365 days long.
2) Due to Global Warming, shorts and sandals will becme standard business attire.
3)Dick Cheney will actually become a Christain and reject the Glamor of Evil. At that exact moment he will vanish in a puff of smoke.
4)Tha Archangel Gabriel will appear and announce that creationists are dead wrong.
5)George Bush will join Alcoholics Anonymous and spend the rest of his life travelling the world making amends to every living thing.
6) Hillary Clinton will win the Democratic Party nomination, but will announce she is giving it up, insisting that for the good of the country and the planet that Al Gore run in her stead.
7) Fox News givwes up and becomes the All Britney All The Time network.
8) Nancy Pelosi will find Iraqs WMD under “The Table”
9) Harry Reid will join the Connecticut for Lieberman Party
10) Opec and the Oil companies will announce that they are putting all of their profits into the development of alternative energy.
And my resolution…which I have been able to keep succesfully for the past seventeen years..
I resolve this year not to maim seventeen dwarf Albanian barbers.
Add your predictions and resolutions in the comments….unless of course you have resolved not to.
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Buhdy realizes the dire straits we’re in and jumps aboard the Kucinich express just in time to turn the nomination to Dennis!
Gackt and Hyde (finally) get caught in a love nest, and video of said tryst becomes highly viewed throughout the world. Fanboys and girls rejoice. Megumi divorces Hyde, and the boys make a quick trip to Canada to get married.
The New England Patriots lose the AFC championship game to Indianapolis, and Peyton Manning makes the telling point “We won the one that mattered.”
Butler and IU meet in the finals of the NCAA tournament, with Butler winning it’s first official championship (they were named national champs in like ’27).
Resolutions: I don’t make them.
…then that casts Lynne as Margaret.
(head explodes)
1) Super secret government time warp tests account for the missing day in 2008, a leap year.
2) Still 50/50 chance the US as we know it makes it intact to begin a new summer. Pick your own disaster scenario
Economic crash–martial law
Bird flu—martial law
Nook Iran–oil crash–martial law
3) Secret of free energy found in safe at Exxon during move of headquarters to Dubai.
4) 911 Truth becomes mainstream, Blackwater mercenaries respond to quell dissent.
5) Clothing tycoon markets tazer-proof sweatshirts under the name “Taze me Bro” becoming a new clothing fad.
6) Space wars become real as China starts taking out US satellites.
Either way I have to get another job next year as the company abondones it’s US interests in favor of China.
will bring all of us something good
Hilton.
I predict she will continue to not wear panties..
for a different reason
she can’t afford them.
Grandpappy left 97% of the fortune to charity
another show biz prediction..
Brittany will be a star again after she learns to play a burnin’ slide guitar, moves to Mississippi Delta and forms a blues band.