i was going to write about what i imagine it will be like to live in leiden, the netherlands. but it’s been snowing all day and i have on christmas music. i’ve done a little decorating, have the candles lit, and poured a glass of red wine.
i’ll be out of this place in a few weeks. life or time or whatever it is keeps us moving… and we seem never to stop making changes. my nephew ryan turned 10 today. on christmas day, i’ll be 53. holy fucking moly.
but tonight, i’m happy. i love how snow quiets things down. slows things down. i love milky night skies and how moon glow backlights falling, floating drop_lets. i love snowstorms and being out with my dog. I love the way the snow catches in his fur and how he rolls on his back. i love the sun coming out after a big storm… and the glint and sparkle of the snow snow snow.
i love the way a house can smell warm when you come back inside. oh… and sometimes it’s so nice to curl up into blankets and take a nap. not really sleep though, but how you feel in those perfect moments between sleeping and waking.
i decided i should take some pictures of my little cottage-like apartment, with my few christmas decorations and the abundance of snow outside, and show you all where i am right now and where i won’t be for much longer.
and yet, right now i’m so fully here. not fully grasping deconstructing all of this. walking away from each part is an odd thing. how it all changes and the things that held you in orbit have disappeared. and you walk away. energy going forward in light years or heavy years. the drag of memory, holding you still. making you think you’re still where you’re not. it will all melt like the snow outside. the landscape. the way it looks right now. it will never be that way again.
big chest-heaving sigh.
and i’m up in five minutes and maybe i’ll just keep writing this in the comments. as i chase after myself. as i try to let go and grab onto something new, all at the same time.
hey. here i am. that’s funny now. here i am. until i melt away.
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my favorite things
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i tried to get a shot of bear outside, but he kept turning away and around and then away again. finally, i followed him upstairs where he grudgingly posed for this shot…
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… last winter in zeeland in the netherlands…
really freak me out.
But regardless, your place looks really nice and cozy.
and Bear is just such a darling! I think there’s an NYC meetup next week–kath25 will be back–maybe you’ll be able to make it?
Mostly ice.
but your New Home will be too 🙂
endings & beginingingings…
thank you for that snow picture…
today was 82o!!
it’s been tough to get in the holiday spirit
on those red walls . YEESH.
send cards, bake cookies, buy lots of gifts, etc. but I’ve completely lost interest in Christmas. I’m just not in the mood for the holidays. I think a big reason is because I live in California now where there is no snow. I miss it (but not too much). I liked your description of being out at night in the quiet falling snow – with the muted glow of light.
Your room is beautiful with the candles, colored lights and Docudharma on the laptop! Bear has a mischievious look in his eye. What a cutie! Thanks for the pics.
am drooling over your birdhouse & china cabinets 🙂
When you go?
(I wanna go to the Netherlands, too.)
that I love your cozy abode. And the great thing is that you will create a cozy, inviting, creative space wherever your go. It’s your nature, I think.
Thanks for inviting me in!
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moneysmith will be taking the reigns on Tuesdays at 6pm…
stop by next week for her premiere.
…I read this and all I could think was…holy crap…is it rent controlled? You can take the girl out of New York…
It looks like a happy, happy home, so warm and the colors!! Love it! Plus the Bear — what a big ball of fluff. Serial tummy rubs from us!
I would love to take my dogs somewhere snowy — maybe up in the mountains. They’ve never seen a single snow flake. They’d probably freak and demand that we return home at once. Or spend the weekend in Palm Springs so they could recover from the trauma of being exposed to actual weather.
I’m so excited for you and what you’re about to do — what an adventure!! And the Netherlands — so beautiful. You’ll be there in the spring, for the tulips! Just spectacular. (No, I’m not jealous. Not at all. Huh uh. Nope. Not me.)
Who’s taking over the apartment? 😉
Thanks for the pics.
exactly like the one we (my parents) used to have when I was growing up. I haven’t seen it in a while though. I think my sister may have it.
My mother has the matching end table in her bedroom. My father used to make furniture a long time ago for Heckman Furniture and made both pieces from Pecan (wood).
You got it, pf8. You were right in the center and you caught it all, for that one brief, perfect second. I’m in awe.
That paragraph describes my life, where I am, where I’ve been, where I’m going. The place of the liminal. Those threshold moments that can last for lifetimes.
{{{pf8}}}
I’m part of this posse, dammit. I may be late to the party and $200 or so short, but I know how to drive rotaries. It’s easy… just imagine you and your car are a slingshot, and then step on the gas. @;-)
It looks so cozy. A place I would want to take a week-long vacation reading napping, eating, watching the snow. I love the lights, candles and smells of the holidays. My daughter is supposed to get home from college today so I am preparing for that as much as I can with a nasty cold/flu. I hope you thoroughly enjoy the rest of your time in your lovely abode!