Friday Night at 8: Tale of a Secretary

S:  Mr. Smith’s office, may I help you?

CALLER:  LET MY PEOPLE GO!

S:  Excuse me?

CALLER:  I AM MOSES.  LET MY PEOPLE GO!

S:  Well, Mr. Moses, this is Mr. Smith’s office and I don’t see any people …

CALLER:  LET MY PEOPLE GO!

S:  Well I’m TRYING to tell you that we don’t HAVE your people!  Are you quite sure you have the right number?

CALLER:  MOSES SAYS LET MY PEOPLE GO!

S:  All right, all right.  I think it’s Pharoah you are looking for, Mr. Moses.  I think he’s the one that has your people, if I recall correctly.

BBRRRIIINGGG!

S:  Mr. Moses, please hold!  Thank you!

S:  Mr. Smith’s office, may I help you?

CALLER:  IMAGINE THERE’S NO HEAVEN

S:  Well, I’m terribly sorry, but this is Mr. Smith’s office and our business …

CALLER:  IT’S EASY IF YOU TRY

S:  I’m sure it is … Mr.  … Mr. …?

CALLER:  LENNON.  JOHN LENNON.

S:  Ah!  No wonder my caller ID registers only zeroes!  Well, Mr. Lennon, I am glad to easily imagine all those nice things, but is there something you are calling for?

CALLER:  NO HELL BELOW US.

S:  Well I’m sure that’s true … Mr. Lennon, please hold.  Thank you!

S:  Mr. Moses, I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.  I am trying to find Pharoah in the Egyptian phone book but I’m not coming up with anything.

CALLER:  LET MY PEOPLE GO!

S:  Yes, I know, I’m sure this is very urgent.  Here, I’m going to transfer you to Egyptian information and perhaps …

CALLER:  LET MY PEOPLE GO!

S:  Yes, yes, well we all want that, I’m sure … I am positive Mr. Smith would want that, too, Mr. Moses!

CALLER:  LET MY PEOPLE GO!

S:  We’ll sure try, Mr. Moses, I’m transfering you now.  Thank you and goodbye!

S:  Mr. Lennon, Mr. Smith is in a meeting right now, but I’d be happy to take a message and have him return your call …

CALLER:  ABOVE US ONLY SKY

S:  That is the truth, Mr. Lennon!  Actually, I have your 000-000-0000 number here on my caller I.D., so I will definitely have Mr. Smith call you back when he’s free!

CALLER:  IMAGINE ALL THE PEOPLE …

S:  Yes!  People, isn’t it a coincidence, a prior caller was looking for some people, too, well isn’t that the way some days go!  Now you have a good day, Mr. Lennon, and I’m sure everyone will be very happy to imagine all those nice things!  Thank you for calling!  Goodbye!

The End

6 comments

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  1. … on a true story.

  2. S: If you happen to be psychic and know your party’s extension please dial it now.

    Caller: Let my people go

    S: I do not understand this command, please try again.

    • srkp23 on January 5, 2008 at 02:14

    is that I really enjoyed reading that, so thank you! I will have to ponder now …

    Here’s a random tale of a call from beyond: In a book called The Post Card, Jacques Derrida writes of having one night, in the middle of the night (iirc), received a collect call. A collect call from one Martin or Martini Heidegger (the operator couldn’t be sure). I think the call was declined. 🙂

  3. to……Part The Red Tape???

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