( – promoted by undercovercalico)
One thing that has always fascinated me is that right wing talk show hosts whether they originate from radio or TV write books with very long and awkward titles. How Liberals Are Ruining America With Weird Foreign Ideas From France That Will Force You To Wear Thong Underwear On Your Head And Make You Burn Your Bibles In Public. Or… How Conservatives Are Really Super Great And Right About Everything So You Don’t Have To Think For Yourself Or Wear Thong Underwear On Your Head. Do their publishers like those really long and awkward titles and just have a Pavlovian response to any book structured like that? I have read a few of them just for entertainment. It really only takes about five minutes and the titles have more content than the actual books. I can sum it up easily: Liberals are really bad people who hate America. It is rather shocking to me to find out how organized and cohesive these authors think liberals and progressives are. You know what? If there is a progressive organization out there trying to force Americans to wear thong underwear on their head while taking French lessons I might just join it. My French is rusty and the only way I will ever wear thong underwear is on my head.
One political activity that I find particularly enjoyable with supreme right wingers is to casually agree with their accusations. You have to be fairly relaxed to do it. Liberals/progressives have a tendency to earnestly defend themselves when hit with insane and irrational accusations and hopelessly arm themselves with facts. If the supreme right wing in America wanted to deal with facts and base their movement on that, they wouldn’t exist. They want a meek apology or sputtering.
I have been personally accused of “taking God out of the schools” which I found rather flattering. But it also confused me. How is it I had the ability to kick God out of school but I can never get my hair to look neatly coiffed? I told a colleague one night in the privacy of our office that I had a confession: Yes, you caught me, that was me, I called him up and evicted him. She stormed out of the office and wouldn’t speak to me the rest of the night. A few nights later, I said, look we obviously had a misunderstanding because I don’t believe in God, so it was probably one of my progressive friends who actually thinks he exists that did it. Silence. Agreeing with them can be risky they can go into an unpredictable rage. My colleague gave up on me and refers to me as a Liberal Tree Hugger, I cheerfully agree and clarify that I enjoy hugging humans just as much.
This tactic is really in its infancy in my campaign subversion. It has backfired.
I recall an episode where on of the Brady girls was trying to learn how to drive and she was advised to picture her driving instructor in his underwear. The idea was it would relax her. Picturing right wing pundits in their underwear has the opposite effect on me. It makes me want to stagger over to the bar and do a row of bleach shots.
Will the right wing and the saggy middle aged drooling pundits who make money hacking tubercular hate on Americans who try to think independently eat themselves or get in line behind the Republican nominee? Eric Boehlert seems to slyly and gleefully chart evidence that they are imploding. He notes that many wackadoodle pundits are tepid or dismissing McCain. The GOP, he argues, are now paying the price for egging on metaphorical attack dogs pumped full of meth like logic skills and oily misery. Turns out the attack dogs will chew their own legs and those of the nasty guy who is supposed to own them.
The extreme right will have a choice. Stay home or vote for a guy who doesn’t exactly skewer them with fits of end times joy. They have had too much fun with power. They aren’t purists, they don’t mind compromising a bit to remain tyrants. Sure a pundit or two will grumble about McCain but when the real contest begins, they still understand who the enemy is. You and I. Any American who doesn’t agree with them.
Fucking with individual wingers can be an enjoyable sport. Underestimating them as a group has brought us an eight year preview of what they want the permanent new American Reich to be. They won’t ditch McCain, not really. Don’t hope for it, don’t plan your 2009 We Finally Got democracy Back Hoedown just yet. McCain is an independent moderate to the same degree I am a super model but enough Americans are drinking the lie serum. Prepare to rumble.