A few days ago, I posted on the untimely death one of our blogging brethren, New Orleans native Dr. Ashley Morris
For those of you unfamiliar with Ashley’s work, here is, IMHO, the finest rant I have ever read. He posted this the November after Katrina hit New Orleans. It has become something of a legend on the Gulf Coast, and it is now known simply as FYYFF:
Fuck you you fucking fucks.
I don’t give a damn what the hell you Yankees/Texans do, do it in your own yard, and shut the fuck up. We don’t care what you do, and we don’t want your damned PVC sided beige square houses uglying up our town. Go home, and quit looking at my home as simply a chance to line your wallets.
I’m so glad all you Chicagoans have figured out exactly how to fix New Orleans. Look at your own nasty city and explain why you can’t deal with the snow other than to throw tons of salt on the road, and why you can’t buy a beer for under $5. Fuck you, you fucking fucks.
What about you fucks that don’t want to rebuild NOLA because we’re below sea level. Well, fuckheads, then we shouldn’t have rebuilt that cesspool Chicago after the fire, that Sodom San Francisco after the earthquakes, Miami after endless hurricanes, or New York because it’s a magnet for terrorists.
And fuck Kansas, Iowa, and your fucking tornados.
Fuck you, San Antonio. You aren’t getting our Saints. When I get to the Alamo, I’m taking a piss on it. You probably go to funerals and hit on the widow. Classless fucks.
Fuck you Houston and Atlanta. No matter how many of our residents you steal, how many of our events you pilfer, you still ain’t got no culture. One of our neighborhoods has more character than all of your pathetic cookie-cutter suburbs laid end to end. Fuck you, fuck you all.
Fuck you Tom Benson. I hate you on so fucking many levels, but the main one is this: they aren’t your Saints, they’re ours. The NEW FUCKING ORLEANS Saints. All you had to do was say that you were coming back. But you didn’t. You had to fuck around to try to get more money. Fuck you, you greedy bastardo. Don’t think we haven’t noticed that you have phased out all of the merchandise that has the state of Louisiana on it. Don’t think we haven’t noticed how hard it is to get some Saints merchandise that actually says “New Orleans” on it. Fuck you, Fuck San Antonio, Fuck your whole fucking family. And if you and Rita think that anybody is going to patronize your car dealerships, then you got another thing coming, fuckface.
Fuck you New York. You lose a neighborhood and get scads of federal aid. We lose an entire FUCKING COAST, and the freespending W administration finally decides to become fiscally responsible. And fuck you all for taunting the New Orleans Saints fans, who have to deal with playing a home game in the Meadowlands. Fuck you, you classless motherfuckers. New Orleans donates a fire engine to the FDNY after 9/11, and you give us shit. Fuck you, fuck your town, fuck your residents, fuck your politicians. You. All. Suck.
Fuck you governess Blanco. Get your act together. Get a clue, or at least hire somebody who does.
Fuck you army corps of engineers. You are so full of yourself, and you don’t have clue fucking one. Building levees on jello. You should be tried and convicted of treason, or mass murder. Fuck you all, let’s give our money to the Dutch – they seem to have this shit figured out.
Fuck the Bush administration. Putting Mike Brown in charge of FEMA, you clueless fucking scalawag. You said “we will do what it takes”. Then do it.
Now.
Bitch.
27 November 2005 at 09:51 PM
Ashley had a rich voice, but he wasn’t a rich man. So his friends are trying to raise enough money to send Ashley off in style and set aside something for his widow and three kids. You can join the cause by leaving a little something in the tip jar
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numerous stories over the years of our gawd-awful time in too-white-bread-to-eat rural red. and i’ve told this story better than i will now, but the bottom line is, before the fuckers in that town ran us out on a rail, i railed, in a wal-mart on a busy Saturday at a couple of red-fucking-neck farmers over their idiot comments about New Orleans and her residents. farmers that didn’t have the sense their god gave them to realize New Orleans was probably the port that took in their grain. anyway. i lost in the produce/deli section. in a big, grand, cart-stopping way. complete with dramatic bird flipping. and my husband thought it was just about the funniest thing he’d ever heard. it’s one of the few times i’m glad i gave in to the impulse to roar.
(and then a few days later, after reading my idiot boss’s idiot editorial about how no federal funds should go to restore the levees, but to use private funds instead, i told her she made no sense and oh by the way, here’s my two week notice.)
and i’m white and never even been to New Orleans or Louisiana.
i’m so sorry for the loss of such a fine man and such a fine voice.
Thanks for bringing this to our attention.
i will donate. Thank you for providing the opportunity to do so!
and huge swaths of the city are still a mess.
It’s nothing short of breathtaking that the government refuses [including the Democratic Congress] to get help to these people.
There is something horribly wrong at a very basic level with our government: it’s not just Bush and his toadies. It may finally be the fault of the people of this country, as Ashley pointed out.
and more than a rant, the truth and testimony. A fine testimony indeed. I just won’t ever forget
Why can’t we drum up support for New Orleans in our own ranks?