…..at the risk of making Docudharma look like a Gilmore Girls fan site…
I’m having ‘a moment’. The constant Hillary-bashing that I’m seeing, hearing, and reading in nearly every area of my life has me absolutely sickened. In no way do I choose to defend Hillary’s choices, votes, politics, or even her very candidacy; it would just be really nice to see ANYTHING she has said or done evaluated objectively. And yes, I can hear you wondering…”73rd, whatever does that have to do with The Gilmore Girls?”
For years, my oldest daughter, whom I have lovingly nick-named ‘thing 1’, watched the program religiously. Before her accident, many of her friends referred to the two of us as ‘the Gilmore Girls’. It could be because I am a single mother, youngish for the age of my children, and annoyingly non-traditional in both my parenting and general lifestyle. It could be the closeness of our relationship. Regardless, I have never been particularly fond of the comparison, as the mother in the program is self-centered, annoying, and a bit of an attention whore. And ‘thing 1’, though as responisble, smart, and beatiful as her TV drama counterpart, wasn’t nearly as motivated. Even before the car accident, the ivy league didn’t appeal to her whatsoever.
But since her accident, I’ve become painfully aware of how she, and my relationship with her, contributed to and defined the person I was. A person I no longer am, since her accident. A person I miss almost as much as i miss the person she was. And the person I am now is almost wholly defined by my relationship with her, since my life has basically become about caring for her. We’re linked, for better or worse, till death do we part. And yeah, it feels a little creepy to type ‘wedding’ words to describe my relationship with my daughter, but there it is. We’re stuck with each other.
And that’s pretty much why seeing Hillary bashed, daily, from all sides, reminds me of the Gilmore girls, and of my daughter. My life has become the consequence of someone else’s choices. Sure, my own choices figure heavily, but ultimately I’m bound to someone else’s consequences as wholly as I’m bound to my own. Bound by choice….no doubt, but in a situation where, to me, there just IS no other choice.
So, quite reflective of the seeming futility of my efforts in our own little universe, I understand why someone in Hillary’s position needs to see things through. Needs to keep going. And while I can’t say that anything that anyone has said about her…her campaign, her history, or any other aspect of her life they feel free to criticize…was somehow wrong, or even inappropriate, I can say that there have been many occasions where, had Obama or his staff committed the venial sin du jour, it would have been declared ‘silly’ or ‘inappropriate’ to even mention it. And vice versa. I remember a time when an Obama staffer ‘crashed’ a Hillary staffer’s conference-call for the press, and it was passed off as ‘no big deal’. I know for sure that if a Hillary staffer had done the like, coverage would have been VERY different.
At the end of the day, Hillary Clinton is a person. And while I don’t wish her to win, I equally wish that she didn’t have to lose. I’m having ‘a moment’ where I actually identify with Hillary Clinton, whom I would have defined myself as differently from as Lorelai Gilmore. Sadly, I’m not entirely at liberty to define myself any longer…but I, too, am staying in the race.
(I auto-publish the A.M. pony, and am typing this after another sleepless night trying to keep ‘thing 1’ quiet so that ‘thing 2’ can sleep. Having just read it over before posting, I am well aware that it is incohesive nearly to the point of incoherence. and for that, i apologize. I’ll probably redact it heavily in the morning)