The Stars Hollow Gazette

I’m pretty angry tonight.  People are being stupider than usual and if you know my general attitude toward humanity you know that’s saying something.  The source of my discontent this evening is, of course, the incestuous Beltway Bendover for Ass Access Butt Sniffing Feces Flinging Media and their Hollywood for the Ugly Uncle Brother Wife Sisters in the institutional political class.  

Reverend Wright IS Right!

Never heard a preacher like Reverend Wright before?  Did you sanctimonious morons ever GO to Church or are you Christmas/Easter Christians?  Can’t remember the last time?  You’re going to burn in hellfire for eternity you GOD DAMN SINNERS!

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND YOUR OWN GOD DAMNED RELIGION!

NOBODY is worthy to sit at the feet of the Lord your God.  You were “conceived in sin (disobedience)” which is why SEX IS EVIL!  There is not a one among that doesn’t offend the sight (not to say smell, for you stink of death and corruption) of your vengeful jealous GOD who doesn’t care whether it’s a Golden Calf or Mammon that you put before him, and thinks that coveting and killing and lying and stealing ARE EVIL!  Who would demand the sacrifice of your first born son and punish you (to say nothing of your innocent kin- wives, children, servants, livestock, whatever) ON A BET!

Wrath of God?

But he loves you.  Nope, really.

In addition to smiting your enemies for real estate, he loves you enough that he incarnated some part and yet all of himself into a fully HUMAN being who lived his whole life without sinning at all, Jesus Christ our Saviour.

If you believe in some carefully selected texts of dubious historical provenance called The Gospel (and I know you believe that they’re the inerrant Word Of God) Jesus was a teacher with at least 2 strong messages; one of which I’m going to characterize as temporal and social, and the other of which I’m going to characterize as spiritual and to hell with parallelism.

Jesus’ Social message was that there are things God can do for you other than smiting your enemies.

He can make you kinder and more compassionate.  He doesn’t much care for the greedy and sanctimonious.  He’s not that into violence toward others even when provoked.

Jesus’ Spiritual message was unmerited favor by grace.

By believing that he was the incarnation of God sent here to spread God’s message of love and forgiveness of sin, you can spare yourself the torment of an eternity of existence after death separated from God’s presence.  The proof is that Jesus died and was raised from the dead (plus assorted other miracles).

Some Christians think that outward prosperity is an indicator of God’s grace.  Some Christians think that sacrifice guarantees prosperity.  Some Christians think that avoidance of sin through conformist behavior is sufficient, but they are mistaken because the OMNIPOTENT GOD who sees the fall of every sparrow can look straight into your heart and mind and knows your EVERY unworthy motivation and secret.  Every lazy self indulgent moment of your stinking existence for which there is not enough incense for the nostrils of GOD!

When was the last time you washed the wounds of a leper?

But even the mildest of Christians contend that evidence of acceptance of the teaching of Jesus is that you strive to emulate his actions.  Heal the sick.  Help the poor.  Turn the other cheek.  Love your neighbor as yourself and forgive them their trespasses.

Little stuff.

Some people are not Christians.  People like me for instance who don’t believe in God at all and follow teachers who have something to say about the human condition in practical terms and find other excuses for altruism than fear of punishment.

Can deathbed acceptance forgive a life of sin?  Are you repentant enough?

God Knows!

44 comments

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  1. I am no longer a Christian, but I was raised Methodist and did Sunday School from Pre to Junior High.

    Religiously in that routine sense.

  2. I thought maybe there wasn’t going to be a Star’s tonight.

    See how easily pleased I am?

    I was raised Anglican. Yawn. Not a Christian any more either. I worship the Cat and Dog gods.

  3. at Street Prophets.

    • RUKind on April 29, 2008 at 8:56 am

    I’m thinking that might make a nice t-shirt/bumper sticker. I mean after all, we’re a Christian Nation founded on Christian Principles and we torture people. Therefore, Jesus would torture people, too. So my question is:

    Who Would Jesus Torture?

  4. I think it rather sinful not to indulge.

    I forgot to mention I have not washed the feet of a leper recently.

    What provoked all this ekplosion anyway?

  5. A good half the time we dialogue I can’t tell if you are mocking me…. you… or both of us!

  6. My first rating ever at Street Prophets is a troll.

    And I got a recipe.

    Thank you.

    • Turkana on April 29, 2008 at 11:59 am

    to invade and conquer, convert or kill, pillage and subjugate. you make him sound like a dirty hippie or something.

  7. And as for the trolling you mentioned above…a little too close to home for some I imagine.

    I have yet to hear anything from Rev. Wright which, when put into context, doesn’t provide the same kind of challenge that this country needs to hear. But as with you, folks troll-rate him and move on in their “so-called” comfort.

    Instead of cringing at the trolling, I say we just “yell it louder.” Seems to have worked for the Repugs.

    • kj on April 29, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    @;-)

  8. I have a bit of a different view though I agree with all you are saying.

    Had a spiritual crisis a few years ago and though I am not a Christian, I found myself at St. Patrick’s in NYC every lunch hour of every day for the 12:30 mass.  I went through hearing from the sermons almost the entire cycle of Jesus’ life and because I was in such a state of raw pain I was helped very much by that experience.

    I think Jesus was compassionate, but certainly not “nice.”  In reading parts of the New Testament, I see he had no trouble reaming out those who were deserving of same, though he did it out of kindness instead of selfishness.

    And I think too many folks of all religions (or none!) think we have to “act nice” while never looking into our own hearts to see our own motivations and transgressions.  And I think the great spiritual incarnations — Jesus, Buddha, etc., were not always fun or easy to be around, lol.

    And I think that is a big problem for those who really do want to be good people, want to think of themselves as on the “right side of life,” etc., but mistake outer form for inner strength and rectitude.

    Frankly, your essay read to me like a really good sermon in itself, scouring away all the spiritual flotsam and jetsam.

    • RiaD on April 29, 2008 at 5:50 pm

    absolutely stupendous!!

    with this, i think you’re my new blog-crush….

  9. rant. I was raised a Catholic, but never bought into it. Got thrown out of an ‘exclusive’ Catholic girls boarding school in the 9th grade for spouting off in ‘Religion’ class about doubt. Apparently the devil makes you doubt your faith if your a Catholic and God gives the rest of us our doubts, so that we will be directed to the Mother Church. An odd term since men are the owners.

    I really liked Rev Wright’s speech on Sunday. The illogical notion that denominations and religions like political parties have an exclusive on God is absurd. As a child I always wondered how in the hell people thought God could be contained in a structure called a church. Makes no sense.

    Jesus was a great philosopher but his divinity is equal to every living thing no more no less. The Christians on a rampage of Evangelical nature freak me right out. PD’s place was hair raising. I like his posts on dkos but Jeez. Isn’t PD of the same denomination as Rev Wright.    

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