Apr 06 2008

Women of the World, Rise Up!

My title is a quote from Buhdy yesterday in response to this comment from undercovercalico:

Female sexuality and the right to express it freely in any manifestation/identity is still really one of the corner stone threats to authoritarianism.

One of my favorite genres of books is autobiographies of everyday women from around the world. I’ve read tons of them and I remember at one point I recognized the theme that seemed to always emerge, whether it was burka’s in the Middle East, foot-binding in China, genital mutilation in parts of Africa, or chastity belts in Europe. The message was not only that women needed to be controlled, but more specifically, their sexuality needed to be controlled.

Many before me have come to this same conclusion. But the question still remains, why is it that women’s freely expressed sexuality is such a threat? What might change in this world if women were allowed individual choice about who to have sex with and when?

I think the answers to those questions go way beyond just a discussion about “free sex,” although that is certainly part of the equation. Since, for example, women always know who their children are, but men have had to know who a woman had sex with to have that same knowledge, I think we can safely assume that controlling a woman’s sexuality has been a way of guaranteeing the continuation of patriarchy.

But to me, I think there are even deeper questions at stake. I had an experience once that gave me just a hint of what that might be. In my 30’s I read the book When God Was A Woman by Merlin Stone. I clearly remember at one point in my reading, I had a new feeling overtake me after years of being steeped in christian fundamentalism. The feeling was that I could choose with whom and when I wanted to have sex. I didn’t need all the rules and regulations I had been taught about it to govern my decision-making. The night that awareness hit, I had a powerful dream that I am certain was a direct result. The dream was of a tall skyscraper that was under construction. Only the frame had been built, and it was shifting to alter the design of the building. I immediately knew that the building was me and that something in my core had changed. I had, the moment that decision was made, claimed myself and my own power in some fundamental way I had never experienced before.

That is the power of the freedom of choice in matters of sexuality I believe. I can’t say that I completely understand the power contained in that right to choose. But if that freedom was available to all of us, I believe women would indeed rise up, and the world would be changed.

Alice Walker wrote a book about female genital mutilation titled Posessing the Secret of Joy. In the last chapter, she reveals what she believes to be the secret of joy in this context…RESISTANCE.



India



South Africa



Mexico



Iran



Bangladesh



United States

92 comments

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  1. who have claimed the power of their sexuality, the one who comes to mind immediately is Tina. I think that’s why she scared me when I was younger.

    This might be a bit “ruff” for Sunday morning, but hey, we’re talking resistance!!

  2. Two things stuck in my mind, one Margaret Atwood’s Handmaiden’s Tale and my admiration for Robyn: her creativity, sense of person hood, her intellectual acuity, her patience, and clarity of purpose.  

  3. … writing clear as a bell.

    I think human sexuality in our world today is a power that has been horribly distorted by both men and women.  And I wonder how one can view this distortion in a way that will help both men and women, or whether it’s more complex than that.

    It’s a power.  And of course in our world power is something people fight over and try to gain all for themselves.

    In a macro sense, society can warp and distort sexual power as we have seen in cultures which degrade and try to control women.

    In a personal sense, we often have trouble dealing with our own sexual power and defeat ourselves by either denying it, using it aggressively or in a manipulative fashion.

    How our culture treats the power of sexuality, of course, affects how we use that power personally.  I find it almost impossible to imagine a culture that promotes healthy sexuality and celebrates how that power can be used to heal and to grow and to help each other.

    Lots to think about in what you have written.

  4. Here’s a start!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L…

    Sex is far from a womens only power, but it is one that even the most patriarchal man understands.

    The deck is SO stacked though…. and the programming to be overcome is so deeply woven and pervasive.

    But when I see things like that…and the symptoms of the Patriarchy…endless wars, destroying the atmosphere, etc…..I sometimes think that some form of a womens revolution is the ONLY way we will ever get somewhere.

    But then again, I AM a hopeless romantic.

  5. is just as confining, the roles, the expectations.

    They get plenty of contradictory messages in our popular culture. Many men find the whole “dumb/hapless husband” meme that is waved around in commercials and on tv to be pretty demeaning. They get portrayed as either violent or useless, there aren’t a ton of positive, alternative or complicated role models out there for young men.

    • Edger on April 6, 2008 at 18:25
    • #

    Good morning, NL!

  7. their ultimate power is giving life.

  8. But I will quibble with you on one point: even in the best circumstances, we never get to choose with whom we have sex.  We get to choose with whom we’re willing to have sex, if they are also willing.  I wish the two were always the same thing, but alas, no.

  9. http://www.newsweek.com/id/130602

  11. By Wolfgang Lederer, M.D., psychoanalyst.

    This is a fascnating read on the subject.  It came out forty years ago, but still isn’t widely read.  I once bought 10 copies and passed them out to friends.

    snip

    ‘We must admit and face our fear of woman-and as therapists make our patients admit and face it-the way the heroes of old faced it and, facing it, conquered fear and woman and the monsters of the unconscious deep, of night and death… We have forgotten, or tried to forget, how much we are in awe of woman’s biological functions, her menstruating and her child-bearing, and how much we abhor the smelly fluids of her organicity, the many secret folds and wrinkles of her inevitable decay. We are trying to deny her threat to our manhood, her serpent’s tongue and the sharp teeth in her two bloody mouths. We refuse to believe in the lure of her depths, and the infinite demandingness of her void. We belittle her sexual challenge and deride, uneasily, her fighting strength; the edge of her cruelty we sheathe in silence…

    ‘In the course of history man has, since those first heroic victories, attempted many a defense against woman:

    .

  12. hit the sack.

    But I just wanted to say thanks to everyone. As is so often the case, I put up a few words and then you all come in with your wisdom, humor, insight, music and fun. There’s an amazing group of folks gathered around these parts.

    My gratitude to you all!!

    • Tigana on April 7, 2008 at 06:33
    • #

    It is always easy to attract an audience when you beat a tambourine; the use of song, performance and the thrilling mention of sex can be compelling.

    However, Docudharma was created to be a political blog. We must not lose sight of the fact  that political progress and that attendant work are its defined goals.

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