Hi, my name is Jeffrey Lieber and before I got started on the UPROUNDERS™ program my “certain part of the male anatomy” was mere inches long, but with the help of UPROUNDERS™ my “junk” now measures a full 22 inches, or almost TWO FULL FEET!
How did I do it… and how can YOU do it too?
Well let me show YOU how UPROUNDERS™ five step program works for EVERYONE…
1) Do a “junk measurement” and as long as you come up with a number greater then 5 inches… YOU’RE IN BUSINESS!
2) ROUND UP, so that your trouser mouse is now… 10 inches long!!!
3) Take 10 inches and round UP to 15, after all 10 is closer to 15 than to 1, right?!!
4) Take 15 inches and round UP to 20, because 15 is closer to 20 than to 10, right?!?
5) Use the UPROUNDERS™ bonus pack to add 2 more inches! Just cause!
Don’t believe me? Check out this testimonial from a national Presidential campaign…
We really needed a double digit victory in a hotly contested primary in order to justify continuing our campaign. The problem was… we only won by 9.2%. With normal rounding techniques that’d be a 9% win and we’d have to go through the trouble of using our brainwashing ray to wipe the minds of all good thinking American’s in order to get any of them to take us seriously. But UPROUNDERS™ fixed everything and TA-DA… everyone is talking about our 10% victory today.
In fact, we were so happy with UPROUNDERS™ that we used them again to turn what we will soon have to admit was a 6 or 7 million dollar funding spree into 10 MILLION DOLLARS!
We love you UPROUNDERS™!
See!
Interested in other UPROUNDERS™ PROGRAMS?!?!
Turn a 5 figure income can become a 7 figure income!
Turn a 900 square foot house into 3000, then sell it for DOUBLE the price!??!
Turn a girlfriend who once had a scary, creepy dude talk her into taking dubious photos in his basement into a FORMER MODEL!
UPROUNDERS™ CAN DO IT ALL!
I’m Jeffrey Lieber and not only am I a member… but I’m the President!*
*Side effects may include: Nausea, vomiting, headaches, heartburn, hair loss, diarrhea, dry mouth, water retention, painful rectal itch, hallucination, dementia, psychosis, coma, death, halitosis, lung cancer, mental retardation, brain tumors, sleep loss, internal bleeding, internal combustion, a sudden craving to sniff your carpet, an addiction to cocaine, heroin, PCP, speed and Windex, bone weakening, claustrophobia, acne, making Jesus cry, the inability to use proper english in an online environment, homosexuality, AIDS, an urge to kill bunny rabbits, inability to breathe oxygen, migraines, diabetes, deafness, and of course, the inability to speak properly.
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… as your zippers get unzipped, i can just hear the theme music from jaws and the terror of women worldwide… will a monster emerge, like we need more junk.
give us flowers… take us out to dinner… tell us how adorable we are… and, for good measure, learn how to give a back rub. then even your tiny penis will get lots of consideration.
but wait. maybe this isn’t about us women at all… it’s about you men swinging those uprounded things, proclaiming how, well, big your penises are…
You just need to have a little faith! Gawd will provide! 😉
most people i know who enjoy being on the receiving end of said piece of anatomy don’t seem to think there’s an appreciable difference between 10 and 9.4. between 9.4 and 3 or 4, otoh…
Half the time JL writes serious essays and half snarky fun….I was hoping for the former. Back to the SPAM folder.
but can you hit all 4 sides of the box?
Have you ever used a Hula-Hoop? If you don’t provide the proper motion, it just falls to your feet.
to find out those penis enlargement e-mails were going out randomly to millions via spam and were not targeted at me.