Howyado.

So, John McCain claims Hamas wants Barack Obama elected our next President.

Never mind that the political advisor to Hamas who remarked how he, “liked Barack Obama,” could have been saying so because he knew it to be a political kiss of death and therefore John McCain NOT Barack Obama would ascend to this country’s highest office.

Never mind as well that Hamas is a foreign organization and therefore its “opinion” is as functionally relevant as the opinion of… say… the society of ticket-takers at Euro-Disney.

We won’t really know the motivations or mental gyrations of the entity that is Hamas, but apparently John McCain is willing to speculate for his own political gain.

And if John McCain thinks it fair to project endorsements onto anthropomorphized entities, he shouldn’t mind it when I suggest… CANCER would prefer he was the next POTUS.

See, John McCain doesn’t see any urgency in getting affordable health care to Americans and without routine access to doctors all sorts of diseases that might be discovered early and treated will go undiagnosed and become fatal.

So if cancer cells could vote their self-interest… certainly they’d support Senator McCain.

Same with heart disease and infant mortality and diabetes and… given John McCain’s need to pander to the save-every-embryo crowd… I’m confident a number of hideous genetic disorders such as the Alzheimer’s that took my grandfather’s life and the Huntington’s that may prevent my close friend from being steady enough to lift a grandchild in his arms would surely volunteer to phone bank for the Republican Party if they could.

And once we start down the road of assigning points of view to politically impotent entities… I’d say coffins are surely staunch supporters of the Arizona Senator.

I mean, what with the the proliferation of the above diseases and the refusal to even consider withdrawing from Iraq and all that “bomb, bomb Iran” shit… coffins and American flags and graves and grief are all part of the GOP’s new big tent.

Why, via maverick McCain’s intellectual dishonesty, we’ll doubtless see teenage pregnancy handing out McCain fliers along with global warming, unexploded land mines and illegal back-room abortions.

How’d you like it, sir Senator, if the soon-to-be-Democratic-nominee were to casually remark how bullet casings and gas masks and prosthetic limbs and anti-depression pills were most likely 100% in favor of your candidacy?

Or how “bankruptcy”… descending on the families of soldiers who have been forced into three or four or five tours of duty… no doubt toasts your name with “foreclosure”, both fantasizing about your salad days to come?

This all of course ridiculous projection… bullets do not vote and coffins cannot pull a lever and diseases will never punch a chad… but then again the same is true of Hamas.

It seems the Democratic primary is over, Senator McCain.

Consider this my own, personal, “Howyado!”