Jesus and John McCain

Some days I feel like I’m living in Bizarro World.  I’m reading the news from the usual sources, and I come across this beaut from ajc.com, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

“John McCain is kind of like Jesus Christ on the cross,” Everhart said as she began the second day of the state GOP convention. “He never denounced God, either.”

John McCain is like Jesus?  Really?  uh… in what way?

Let’s see here.

Jesus on peace and war: blessed are the peacemakers.

John  on peace and war:  bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran.

Jesus on marriage: May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

John  on marriage: At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.

Jesus on sacrifice: go, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.

John  on sacrifice: Since the beginning of their marriage, Senator McCain and Mrs. McCain have always maintained separate finances.  As required by federal law and Senate rules, Mrs. McCain has released significant and extensive financial information through Senate and Presidential disclosure forms.  In the interest of protecting the privacy of her children, Mrs. McCain will not be releasing her personal tax returns.

Jesus on respect:  do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

John  on respect:  Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?  Janet Reno is her father.

You get the idea.  Feel free to add your own observations.  Add your own spiritual advisor, deity, or scientific principle in comparison to the Maverick.  Have some fun.  Otherwise, in Bizarro World, we’ll all go mad and O.D. on Woolite.

24 comments

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  1. For the poor slobs just trying to keep the car between the ditches.

    • WSComn on May 23, 2008 at 12:33 am

    I just don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

    It’s just too, too Twilight Zone.  I keep expecting a black and white Rod Serling to step out from behind some curtain, take a drag off his Chesterfield, and say…well, say pretty much what that clown Everhart said at the…what the hell was it???  A convention???

    Man, bubbanomics…I’m so confused.  McCain and Jesus??????

    BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!

    Great essay!  Loved it!!

    • Edger on May 23, 2008 at 12:46 am

    is into the good stuff, I see…

    Was she even in the room the day she lost her mind?

  2. the analogy of McCain being like Jesus Christ reminds me of when Homer Simpson explained to Bart how a woman is like a refrigerator:

    “Son, a woman is a lot like a…refrigerator! They’re about six feet tall…weigh 300 pounds…they make ice…”  

    • Robyn on May 23, 2008 at 1:08 am

    I just believe in the unique status of marriage between man and woman.

    I’m positive that here he intends that to read “natual born woman,” since I have no doubt that he would claim the right to declare me a man and any man who had a relationship with a transwoman a homosexual.

    Except that would open the legal loophole of allowing transsexual lesbians such as myself the right to marry their partners.  All I would have to sacrifice is my identity.

    On the other hand, I am certain he has never thought this through.

  3. yeah! got the idea…

    great way to paint this picture!!!

  4. it’s an insurmountable job.

    I do think, wrt political discourse, for a lot of folks (me included, when I’m honest), the sending unit is on and the receiving unit is off.  But the fact is we have to understand what the other side thinks and wants before we can have a real  conversation.

    I recall arguments I’ve had over “the terrorists.”  If we’re willing to listen to what it is they want, how they feel they’ve been wronged, then shouldn’t we also be willing to give our own countrymen (no matter how vehemently we disagree on some points) the same consideration?  And who knows, maybe once we understand what they’re really after, we might be able to put forward some ideas that would be of mutual interest.

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