Cars Suck

(Cross-posted at My Left Wing.)

I hate cars.  I hate them.  I hate driving them.  I hate being a passenger.  I don’t like crossing the street in front of them.  I don’t like being anywhere near them.

Yet, they are everywhere.  Every single time I step from my apartment, there they are.  Hundreds and hundreds of these steal monstrosities flying around, dominating the cityscape.  According to the United States Bureau of Transportation Statistics, every year about 40,000 people die in the US due to auto accidents.

40,000!

{YIKES!  That’s a scary picture, huh?}

Anyway, 40,000 Americans are slaughtered every year.

That’s about thirteen 9/11s each and every year.  What would people do if Islamist terrorists were knocking off 40,000 Americans, year in and year out?  They’d go completely fucking ape-shit, that’s what they’d do.  If Islamist terrorists were killing 40,000 Americans each and every year, the US would already have transformed itself into a total police state.  Our civil liberties would be entirely gone and hatred for Muslim people would utterly dominate our political discourse.

Yet almost no one cares that these terrible things, these vicious rolling death-machines, kill 40,000 Americans a year.  Even as I write this, someone, somewhere not far from here, has just been taken down.  Somewhere, as I write, is a person with a broken body, lying on the side of the road, dying.  

Murdered by an automobile.

And, yet, we love these things.  Americans love their cars.  We glorify them.  In a million movies and books and songs, the automobile is presented as the quintessentially American product.  “Cruising culture” is looked back upon with nostalgia.  

Indeed, “Where were you in ’62?”  

But not only do cars murder us on a daily basis, we are also their slaves.  We are, most of us, completely dependent upon these things for our livelihoods, for our access to goods and services, for our ability to socialize.  It’s fucking disgraceful!  We can’t do practically anything but what with a car involved.  Despite the fact that they are constantly killing us, we need them and love them.  In fact, our entire lives revolve around these hideous things.  We even go so far as to devote half of our waking hours to earning money so that we purchase cars and feed them oil.  You work so that you can have automobile which, of course, you need to go to work!

You fools.

You slaves.

And think, for a moment, about how automobiles have entirely fucked up American politics.  Much like the Cold War before it, we now live in a political atmosphere dominated by George W. Bush’s trademarked Global War on Terror (GWOT).  Little can be done politically that does not at least take into account the GWOT.  Why was George W. Bush reelected in 2004?  Because millions and millions of Americans live in constant unreasoning fear of militant Jihadis.  And why do we fear militant Jihadis?  Because of 9/11.  And why did 9/11 happen?  Because the US insisted upon maintaining a military presence in the Middle East, specifically Saudi Arabia.  And why must we maintain a military presence in the Middle East?  Because of oil.  And why must we expend our military to make sure that we continue to have unfettered access to Middle East oil and kill hundreds of thousands of Iraqis in the process?

Because of cars, that’s why!

And think about this:  the entire netroots is now squabbling with itself concerning Barack Obama’s recent capitulation on the FISA issue.  Right at this moment, I have no doubt, some poor bastard on Daily Kos is being berated within an inch of his or her life merely for criticizing Barack on FISA.  Barack, after all, had promised to oppose the FISA legislation, to filibuster, if it contained telecom immunity.  Now, of course, he says that he will vote in favor of the bill even if it does contain telecom immunity.  Why is he doing that?  Why has he betrayed us?  It’s because Barack Obama is afraid that if he really stands up for the 4th amendment of the Constitution then John McCain, and surrogates, will call him mean names.  They will paint him as “weak on terrorism.”  And just why would they be able to do so?  Because of the GWOT!  The GWOT which was, essentially, given to us by automobiles.  

So, I say, down with the automobile!

We must free ourselves from these terrible machines that rule our lives.  We must get rid of them, somehow.  Unless, or until, we get rid of cars we will always live under their tyranny.  Unless, or until, we get rid of cars we will always live under the hideous GWOT.  Unless, or until, we get rid of cars Americans will continue to live under constant fear of the Jihadi threat.  Unless, or until, we get rid of cars tens of thousands of perfectly innocent people will die horrible violent deaths on American roadways.

And you can’t just sell these things.  Transference of ownership does not get rid of the menace.  No.  They need to be taken out, one by one, and shot!  Shoot the tires!  Shoot the engine!  Blow the fucking things up!  And then bury them forever.  

Only then shall we be free.

So, here are my questions:

Why do you motherfuckers like your cars so much?

Besides a means of transportation, what do cars mean to you?

Or (ahem) how have they figured into your social life?