Through the Darkest of Nights: Testament XXVI

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Every few days over the next several months I will be posting installments of a novel about life, death, war and politics in America since 9/11.  Through the Darkest of Nights is a story of hope, reflection, determination, and redemption.  It is a testament to the progressive values we all believe in, have always defended, and always will defend no matter how long this darkness lasts.  But most of all, it is a search for identity and meaning in an empty world.

Naked and alone we came into exile.  In her dark womb, we did not know our mother’s face; from the prison of her flesh have we come into the unspeakable and incommunicable prison of this earth. Which of us has known his brother?  Which of us has looked into his father’s heart?  Which of us has not remained prison-pent?  Which of us is not forever a stranger and alone?      ~Thomas Wolfe

All installments are available for reading here on Docudharma’s Series page, and also here on Docudharma’s Fiction Page, where refuge from politicians, blogging overload, and one BushCo outrage after another can always be found.

    I turned the election coverage off in disgust, walked outside, and sat down on the front steps.  The last autumn leaves have been blown away by the cold winds of November, the trees are bare, their branches sway in the gusts, empty and lifeless under a starless sky.  The days are getting shorter, the nights are getting longer, winter is coming and so are four more years of killing, four more years of war profiteering, and four more years of Bush White House crimes.

    Shannon went to bed hours ago.  As she has ever since our long walk together, she left her bedroom door open. I’ll walk through that doorway soon, we’ll sleep in each other’s arms through the nights to come, we will not give in to the darkness, we will bring some light into this world, we will bring a child into this world, and if that child is a girl we will name her Sarah.  

   But there ‘s no light now, there’s none to be seen, there’s nothing but the darkness of this terrible night, the longest night I’ve ever known, a night of treachery in Ohio, a night of Diebold infamy, a night of craven corporate media bootlicking of Bush and the Republican Party.  The bootlickers don’t call it bootlicking of course, they call it election commentary, but it’s bootlicking, and the bootlickers get paid very well for it.

    Until now, until the very last, until this travesty of an election reached its bitter conclusion after months of Republican smears and lies and character assassination, I hadn’t given up hope that a majority of Americans would finally notice that the Bush Administration is packed with criminals from top to bottom. I hadn’t given up hoping they would toss Bush and Cheney and their corrupt to the core Permanent Republican Majority out of power so America could have an actual government again.

   I’m thinking maybe they were tossed out of power, I’m thinking the tossing out began when the polls opened this morning, I’m thinking it went on all day long and kept going on, in state after state until the polls closed.  The first exit polls indicated that Kerry was winning the Presidency by an impressive margin in both the popular vote and the Electoral College.  But as the voting machines and central tabulators owned by corporate cronies of George Walker Bush began “counting” the votes, he began pulling ahead in red states that had been too close to call, he opened a lead over Kerry in the People’s Republic of Ohio and that lead kept increasing as the programmed software in those democracy killing machines did what its democracy killing designers programmed it to do.

    Political scientists have been perfecting exit polling for decades.  Exit polls have been accurate and I have no doubt they were accurate again yesterday. By the time Shannon went to bed long after midnight there was nothing left to hope for, nothing left but the bitter knowledge that deceit has triumphed and treachery has been rewarded. The Presidency of the United States has been stolen again, and just as it did in 2000, the corporate media is brazenly ignoring electoral fraud and massive voter suppression by Republicans in state after state after state.

    When will this spectacle of shame end?  Will it ever end?

    I got up and went back inside.  Shivering in the cold, staring into the darkness in abject despair wasn’t going to accomplish anything.  I walked through the living room and down the hall into Shannon’s bedroom.  It will be our bedroom now. The gift of love has been offered to me and I will accept it, and cherish it, and offer love in return, all the love I can give, for the rest of my life.

    I called Shannon’s name softly, she murmured my name in response, still half-asleep.

    I walked up to the bed.  “Shannon?”  

    She stirred from sleep, looked up at me, and smiled.  “I’m here, Jericho, I’ve always been here.”  

    “I love you . . .”  

    “I know.  I’ve known that for a long time.”

    I sat down on the edge of the bed, hoping to find the right words to say.  This world is filled with dark and lonely places, where no one cares, where people just use each other, where love is all too often lost or taken away, never to be found again.  I would never have found love again if Shannon hadn’t found me, if she hadn’t taken my hand and led me out of my dark and lonely life into a life with her, if she hadn’t had so much love within her that it healed both our broken hearts.

    “Shannon . . . ”  

    “You don’t have anything to explain, Jericho, love doesn’t need explaining.”  

    Shannon kissed me, slowly unbuttoned my shirt, then unbuckled my belt.  She slipped out of her nightgown as I finished undressing, turned towards me as I laid down beside her, and we held each other, savoring our closeness, savoring our intimacy, savoring our anticipation of sensual, emotional, and spiritual release.

    I kissed her lips, so soft and warm, then kissed them again, I kissed the tear for Sarah that trickled down her cheek.  We both loved her, we will always love her, she will live on in our hearts, she will live on in the child we’ll conceive and cherish and teach to love as Sarah loved.

    Shannon returned my kisses, gently at first, then with an urgency endearing to me beyond words, an urgency endearing beyond measure, beyond expression, an urgency that glowed with pure passion, an urgency that heralded the pure union of one soul with another, exalting and unforgettable.

    Entwined in each other’s arms, we made love in the pre-dawn twilight, we became one, savoring the transcendent rhythm of union and release, union and release, union and release, each moment of union warm and inviting, each moment of release brief and enticing.  Our rhythm quickened, each union was deeper than the one before, each release was briefer than the one before, we sought the ultimate moment of ecstasy, knowing it was coming, knowing it would come soon, knowing it was but moments away, feeling it surging within us, feeling it intensifying, inviting it with one more kiss, beckoning it with one final passionate thrust, and that ultimate moment came, it came from within Shannon, it came from within me, and it flowed, and it lasted, and it lingered in that pre-dawn twilight, until it finally subsided, leaving us breathless in the sensual afterglow, breathless with wonder as we looked into each other’s eyes, as we looked into the windows of our souls, and saw a love so strong it will never die.