Oct 22 2008

Docudharma Tradin’ Post Special Offer!

With two weeks to go and the polls still giving us good news, (despite McCains warning) it is time to prepare for election night. While we celebrate Obama’s victory and huge gains in Congress (c’moooon 60!) and dance in the streets clutching our chardonnay and latte’s, the poor Wingnuts will be experiencing quite a different evening!

I expect you will see quite a bit of ….this…

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That’s right! We are anticipating a record number of Wingnut head explosions. This can be messy AND dangerous! While it has never been proven that you can “catch” Wingnuttery, can you really afford to take the chance of being infected while cleaning up little pieces of exploded Wingnut head??

And so, Docudharma Tradin’ Post is having a special pre-election sale! We are offering a full line of protective gear and cleaning tools for use on November 4th. If you live with, or even near, a Wingnut, order now!

First up: personal protective gear:

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Next you will want to protect the walls and carpet of the Wingnuts immediate vicinity. Remember that plastic sheeting and duct tape you bought to seal your house for when the terrorists invaded America and deployed their chemical weapons?

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Now is the time to use them!

Caution! Duct tape is a powerful thing, it can be used for good or evil, please do not make the following mistakes!

Wrong!

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Wrong!

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We suggest instead of taking the chance of making these mistakes, you purchase the Tradin’ Post special all inclusive Wingnut Head Explodin’ Protection Package!

First spread the plastic sheeting under the Wingnuts favorite election watching location, then simply erect the special Wingnut Head Explodin’ Protection Portable Room!

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Voila! No muss, no fuss head exploding protection!

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This should contain the …product …of any Wingnut head (and world) explosion!

If your Wingnut uses a computer to track election results, mat we suggest the Reynolds Computer Room Protection Package?

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A little more difficult to install, but it will protect your expensive electronic equipment!

Of course if you have been hit hard, as so many have, by the Wingnut Financial Crisis, we offer the old standby economy package.

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In severe cases, the Tradin’ Post also offers full clean up services!

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If you are fully prepared and follow the easy to use instructions included with all of these products, your election night celebration will not be marred by necessary worries over having to clean up the mess the Wingnuts have made!

That will be Obama’s job.

11 comments

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  1. you could just go with the Full Body Condom!

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    • robodd on October 22, 2008 at 20:23
    • #

    to don protective gear, we put the ‘splodin, talking heads in preventative head gear.

    Shouldn’t be too hard, since most of them already have their heads in a bubble anyway.

  3. of exploding progressive heads if McCrime succeeds in stealing the vote.  We are already hearing of wardrobe computer malfunction in early voting in West Virginia, Tennessee, Florida.  

    The analysis goes that the Rethugs will steal the vote despite the overwhelming edge for Obama because they can “plausibly” blame it on the “Bradley Effect.”  But, as David Swanson writes in “A McCain Win Will Be a Theft, Resistance is Planned” read what we can do besides having our heads explode.  

    If your television declares John McCain the president elect on the evening of November 4th, your television will be lying. You should immediately pick up your pre-packed bags and head straight to the White House in Washington, D.C., which we will surround and shut down until this attempt at a third illegitimate presidency is reversed.

    I also recommend for those of us who can’t go to D.C., to plan on doing our (at least one day) strike on and/or beginning Nov 5.  Stay home from work, stay home from school.  Do not buy anything.  Refuse to accept another stolen election.

    Remember!  Remember!

    The Fifth of November!

    We will not accept another

    Stolen Election — Remember!  

  4. included moving 1,000 miles away from them. LOL

    Somehow, I think I’ll still be able to hear their screaming from way up here in the tundra though. But at least I won’t have to clean up the mess.

  5. …to spite this excellent advice…use this.  

    http://store.babeland.com/bdsm…

    Just sayin’.

    Here’s hoping we don’t actually need a wingnut protection plan.  Truly.

    • kj on October 25, 2008 at 17:53
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    just put in two orders… the cat is fundamentally opposed (due to some sort of species allergy) to duct tape, so i’m thinking one of those net produce bags for her.

    i also applaud docudharma for their keen business sense in these difficult times.  

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