It’s All Colin Powell’s Fault.

(10 am. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

Don’t blame conservatism.

We did everything right, with the exception of ever trusting Colin Powell, who we never REALLY liked because we knew from the beginning that he wasn’t one of us and shouldn’t be listened to.

He was the one who screwed up that whole Katrina fiasco and he suggested the “Mission Accomplished” banner and if you check the video of Dick Cheney saying, “last” throes” you’ll realize that Colin Powell had his hand in the Vice President’s “puppet hole” and was manipulating what he sent.

See, Colin Powell…

…created ACORN and was in charge of the FEC (or SEC, whichever it actually is) and thought up No Child Left Under-Educated and lost the congress in 2006 and used the “Bil Laden determined to strike in the U.S.” memo to wrap his used gum up, which is why we never read it, and told George Allen that “Makaka” meant “peace, love and understanding” and promised to meet Larry Craig in stall three at the Minneapolis airport and crashed the Hindenberg and caused the Bubonic plague and kicked over the lantern that started the Great Chicago fire and won’t let bees mate and was the brain-child behind the Spice Girls and was the master-mind behind NEW Coke and convinced YOUR significant other not to give head anymore and HE, ALONE, PERSONALLY gave (black) sub-prime (black) loans to a (black) million (black) poor (black) people, but NOT Joe The Plummer (very, very, totally, to the core, wonderfully, pasty white).

We, as Conservatives, have a perfect track record EXCEPT for that hateful, racist, awful, idiot Colin Powell who we never used a symbol that we could be tolerant to non-whites in the Republican party!

Well, and former press secretary Scott McClellan, who we said from the beginning couldn’t be trusted…

…and Chuck Hagel, who can only get reelected because he’s from such a liberal state as Nebraska…

…and former Treasury Secretary Paul O’Neill, who is probably gay… and George Will, who, along with Peggy Noonan and that worthless Buckley whipersnapper, we always thought was an elitist…

…and President George W. Bush, who we tried as hard as possible, from the beginning to warn you about.

Re-elect the Republican Party Of America: We Don’t Make Mitsakes!