Dec 10 2008

Et Tu, Joe the Plumber?

(10 am. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

GOSH DARN IT ALL TO HECK!!!

Sorry for that terrible outburst of profanity there.  But all this raggin’ on Republicans is makin’ me mad!  Everybody’s blamin’ everybody for our razor-thin election loss, but I thought there was one person I could count on no matter what.  But I was wrong.  I know that’s pretty hard to believe also, havin’ never been wrong about anything before.  

But my dear ex-friend Joe the Plumber now says that John McCain “appalled me” when they were talkin’ about politics and stuff:

I asked him some pretty direct questions,” (Joe the Plumber) continued. “Some of the answers you guys are gonna receive – they appalled me, absolutely. I was angry. In fact, I wanted to get off the bus after I talked to him.

Then he tried to cover his sorry (but very cute) butt by also sayin’:

While Wurzelbacher was critical of McCain during the interview, he had nothing but praise for his running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. “Sarah Palin is absolutely the real deal,” he said.

I see what you’re doin’ there!  It’s OK to dump on McCain now that he’s lost, but ya still want to be in the game when my turn to be President rolls around, don’tcha?  Well, Joe (can I call ya “Joe”?), once you get off that bus go ahead and assume the position under it!  If that’s the way you’re gonna treat us, THE ONES WHO MADE YOU FAMOUS, I ain’t gonna cover for you any more.  You want some straight talk, Joe?  Well, get ready . . .    

First of all, us women on the campaign found out real quick that Joe was the horniest one on the bus.  And I’m talkin’ about a bus full of old Republican white men!  What he was supposed to do at our campaign rallies was smile and clap and maybe wink once in a while.  But Joe was so sleazy he would hit on one of John’s daughters right behind his back:

   

But that’s nothin’ compared to what happened with Cindy.  Look how’s he’s leerin’ at a MARRIED woman while her HUSBAND is standin’ right there tryin’ to save the country!  Hey Joe . . . is that a pipe wrench in your pocket or are ya glad to see her?

And remember when we found out Joe’s name was really “Samuel” instead of Joe?  That’s only the half of it.  His last name isn’t really a proper American name like “Wurzelbacher” either, but is, in fact, “Blagojevich.”  He changed it a while back when some cousin of his started to get in some trouble with the law.  What kind of name is that?  It sounds Russian to me, and I would know.  

Also he is an ungrateful snob.  I was worried about him after our razor-thin loss, so a couple of times I went to JoeThePlumber.com to send him an email and cheer him up.  But all I got back was some stupid plumber’s newsletter!  What’s that about?  Now he’s too good for me?  Me?!?!  Heck, Oprah would kill (and probably has) for a piece of me like Joe had!  Wait . . . that didn’t really come out right . . . well, you know what I mean.  

But worst of all, I found out Joe the Plumber ain’t a patriot!  Sure, he talked like he hated socialism and redistributin’ wealth and payin’ his taxes, but check out this next picture.  He’s standin’ there laughin’ with some hippie who’s givin’ the finger to our wonderful flag at a campaign rally!  This picture upset me so much I cropped the top off so you wouldn’t be subjected to somethin’ so horrible.

I’m sorry . . . I need a moment to compost myself . . .  

It hurts me so much that this country that I love so much is full of two-faced losers like this guy.  I have more pictures but I just don’t have the strength to post them.  Like the one where he’s peein’ on my family Bible, or the one where he’s clubbin’ baby seals on his lunch break.  What happened to that Joe the Plumber who stole America’s heart?  Remember how he inspired us when he told Barry to get the f**k off his lawn or he’d kick his motherf**kin’ a** all the way back to Kenya?  Our country needs people who can talk to (or about) Barry like that!  But you broke my heart, Joe.  I gave you everything (wink!) and you repay me by turnin’ on that old guy who gave me everything (wink!) over these last few magical months.  

Oh, and I have a message for Tito the Builder . . . if you even THINK about bein’ the next one to turn . . . I got the Immigration Dept on speed dial.

15 comments

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  1. Say it ain’t so, Joe . . .  

  2. Republicans really should avoid anything that associates themselves with plumbers. Despite 8 years of Bush-induced brain trauma, I, for one, still remember Watergate.

  3. Operation Leper over at redstate.com – has a wonderful biblical ring to it, doesn’t it? So maybe now, instead of “Joe the Plumber” he can be “Joe the Leper.”

    (Oh, and on that biblical reference thing, we’ll just ignore that Jesus wanted to embrace and heal the lepers rather than toss them out on their ass)

    • redscan on December 11, 2008 at 05:12
    • #

    The battle has been won.

    We are half way there.

    But the “Plumbers” are expertise in more

    than election fraud.

  5. wait til you see what your pals who live in the fantasy land of “clean coal” have dreamed up!!! The The Clean Coal Carolers! What fun we can have these holidays this Christmas. You can dress those adorable pieces of coal so they’ll stay “warm” and even choose which song they sing. My favorite: “Frosty the Coalman.”

  6. A little helicopter hunting, perchance?

  7. Forget about Joe – Blago is your BFF.

    He came to your defense when those nasty Dems said you didn’t have enough experience.

    The reality is, governors every day have to make decisions for better or for worse. That’s part of the job. It’s an executive position. And it’s a position that is like what you’re going to do when you’re president. Legislators, they do different things. They debate and they pass their bills back and forth, he said. (Chicago Trib)

    Gee he really knows how gubmint works.  Just like you!

    And I see you have been giving him some excellent tips…

    Sarah Palin Advises Blagojevich to Sell Obama’s Senate Seat on eBay  h/t DU

    … put a Senate seat up for auction, together with a private jet and you can really make enough dough to keep you in designer clothes.

  8. Especially with someone you haven’t even been married to yet!  But Joe would have been no good for you.  Sounds to me like he’s just a complete opportunist.  That’s one of those real crackpot religions that shops at Marshall’s instead of Wal-Mart.  How unpatriotic is that?

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