Epic Private Lender Citibank Propaganda Fail!

(@ noon – promoted by NLinStPaul)

(Crossposted from Free Speech Zone)

From:”The Student Loan Corporation”

[email protected]

May 7, 2009

Dear [Jack's Smirking Revenge],

Thank you for the opportunity to help you obtain the education of your choice. As a student loan provider for the past 50 years, Citi has provided financial aid assistance to millions of students and parents nationwide.

 

Given the challenging economy and continued increases in the cost of higher education, it is critical that the U.S. student lending system serves the best interests of students and their families. If you believe that competition and choice among student loan providers is valuable, you have an opportunity to make your voice heard.

Why Get Involved?
The government budget outline proposes offering federal student loans solely through the federal government's Direct Lending Program starting July of next year. While this proposal will not impact a borrower's ability to obtain a federal student loan, it will eliminate your ability to choose a student loan provider. It will also substantially increase the national debt since each and every federally-insured student loan will be funded by the Federal Treasury through the issuance of treasury securities. This proposal impacts you as a citizen – both as a taxpayer and as a borrower.

Why Does Competition And Choice Matter?
Without private lender involvement through the Federal Family Education Loan Program, students and their families will not enjoy the benefits that competition has made possible for more than 40 years. This competition has provided not only a choice of lenders, but also innovative products and services, such as:

• a variety of borrower benefits that lower your cost of borrowing
• financial literacy programs that educate you on how to borrow responsibly
• web-based tools and resources to advise you about your financing options
• default prevention services to help you pay back your loans

Competition also has driven increased customer satisfaction as a result of the responsiveness, personal attention and on-campus support that student loan lenders have provided to borrowers and schools nationwide.

Make Your Voice Heard
If you value the ability to shop for, evaluate and choose your student loan provider, make your voice heard by contacting your Members of Congress and by signing one of the online petitions that support borrower choice and competition in federal student lending.

Sincerely,

The Student Loan Corporation

Let me start off with the FUNNIEST FUCKING STATEMENT IN THIS WHOLE E-MAIL:

While this proposal will not impact a borrower’s ability to obtain a federal student loan, it will eliminate your ability to choose a student loan provider. It will also substantially increase the national debt since each and every federally-insured student loan will be funded by the Federal Treasury through the issuance of treasury securities.

Like YOU give a FUCK about what’s good for the nation!

Matter of fact, don’t you owe me about $25 Billion motherfucker?

Yeah, that’s right, you were so wrapped up in making a profit and lobbying Congress for OUR TAX MONEY when YOU fucked up royally that you weren’t thinking about little old me at the time, were ya?

However that doesn’t stop you from a sad attempt to pull at my heartstrings about how the government is cutting out YOU as a middle man between me and my Federal Loans. You just sat back and made a profit lending your capital FULLY BACKED BY THE GOVERNMENT while pretending your bureaucracy was essential to the process.

Oh but you got found out, didn’t you?

Cost the government billions annually at a time when they’re hurtin’ so they looked around where they could trim fat.

So they came to interview you and it went like this:

Government: So you say that you take the loans that the government backs and hand it over to the people? WHy couldn’t we just do that ourselves?

Private Lenders: Look, I deal with the people and I hand over the loans to them directly.  I’m very useful.

Government: So you physically hand these loans to the people yourself?

Private Lenders: No my secretaries do.  I deal with the people…

Private Lenders: “I’m a people person.  Government doesn’t know how to deal with people. I Do! That’s my job! WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!”

Yeah, you’re fired, and I don’t feel bad you greedy useless fucks!

The one thing in this that made me stand back in absolute AWE of the arrogance and insult to my intelligence was this:

Make Your Voice Heard

If you value the ability to shop for, evaluate and choose your student loan provider, make your voice heard by contacting your Members of Congress and by signing one of the online petitions that support borrower choice and competition in federal student lending.

Sincerely,

The Student Loan Corporation

Yeah, we’re gonna send a message to Congress that we want you to make a profit!

Are you fucking KIDDING ME?!

Yeah, I can just see it, millions of students storming Washington D.C. to fight against taking of profit away from lenders that put students in debt.

Might happen, NOT!

Let’s look at the reasoning behind these private lenders:

Why Does Competition And Choice Matter?

Without private lender involvement through the Federal Family Education Loan Program, students and their families will not enjoy the benefits that competition has made possible for more than 40 years.

(That’s a lie)

This competition has provided not only a choice of lenders, but also innovative products and services, such as:

* a variety of borrower benefits that lower your cost of borrowing (lie)

* financial literacy programs that educate you on how to borrow responsibly (who needs that? me or you? Your actions cost us $25 Bil.)

* web-based tools and resources to advise you about your financing options (True, but with the government it would be a lot less money I’d have to finance)

* default prevention services to help you pay back your loans (True, but they raise your interest)

Competition also has driven increased customer satisfaction as a result of the responsiveness, personal attention and on-campus support that student loan lenders have provided to borrowers and schools nationwide.

When the customer doesn’t care about choice and just about getting money for school their “satisfaction” is when you say “Approved!”.

They have provided to borrowers and schools nationwide, they cornered the market of bridging the gap between the Federal loans that pay half (which they made money off of) and their Private Loans that paid for the rest.

So it was essentially, a “double-dipping” scam that got found out and cost us around $94 Billion a year in unnecessary bureaucracy.

Good while it lasted, but your time is up….