The Democrat Party FINALLY Does Somethin’ Right

(noon. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

Glorious news from our nation’s capital (and/or Capitol) today!

Buried deep inside a boring bill about reformin’ credit card practices was a provision that stirred my patriotic loins in a way that’s been sorely missed since President Bush left office.  Senator Tom Coburn (R-OK), seein’ a major flaw in this credit card legislation, fixed it right up there by insertin’ an amendment to allow loaded guns in national parks.  Check and mate, you greedy credit card companies!

These days the Democrat party usually strips all of the patriotism right out of bills like this and replaces it with socialism.  But not this time!  Coburn’s amendment passed with the support of 27 Democrats in the Senate, includin’ the majority leader Harry Reid.  That makes TWO patriotic things Reid did in ONE day, along with his come-to-Jesus moment on not closin’ Guantanamo.  Wow!  Maybe there’s hope for this guy after all.  Or, maybe not, accordin’ to Nevada’s likely voters.

In March, the liberal activist judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly had blocked a Bush plan to allow loaded handguns in national parks:

In her ruling, Kollar-Kotelly agreed that the government’s process had been “astoundingly flawed.”

She noted that the government justified its decision to forgo an environmental analysis on the grounds that the rule does not “authorize” environmental impacts. Calling this a “tautology,” she wrote that officials “abdicated their Congressionally-mandated obligation” to evaluate environmental impacts and “ignored (without sufficient explanation) substantial information in the administrative record concerning environmental impacts” of the rule.

Well, guess what, Your Honor?  Hard workin’ folks don’t care about your whiny “environmental impact” rules!  And what kind of a vague, confusing, obfuscatin’ word is “tautology” anyways?  I’d say Coburn (and his new-found Democrat buddies) sure put a stop to her foolishness with his amendment:    

Congress needs to weigh in on the new regulations to ensure that unelected bureaucrats and judges cannot again override the Second Amendment rights of law-abiding citizens on 83,600,000 acres of National Park System land and 90,790,000 acres of land under the jurisdiction of the United States Fish and Wildlife Service.

Although I’m not entirely clear on what this has to do with credit cards, I wholeheartedly endorse the true American spirit there in packin’ heat at our national parks.  I salute Coburn, and (gulp) the Democrats who joined him, for protectin’ the God-given right of all Americans to express their Second Amendment thoughts in a locked and loaded manner.  

Now ya might be thinkin’ what possible reason someone would have to take a loaded gun to a peaceful, family-oriented place like a national park.  Heck, I’ll give ya FIVE good reasons:

1.  Bears

2.  Wolves

3.  Stoned hippies

4.  Foreign tourists

5.  Tree huggers

You can see that our national parks, while filled with a lot of nature, are also fraught with peril.  When the founding fathers ceated our national parks back in 1776, there is no way they expected anyone to visit ’em without takin’ their muskets along.  Why should modern-day visitors be any less protected?  The bears are just as hungry and vicious today as they were in Lincoln’s time.

Now let us gather together and pray for the bountiful gift of our national parks and the laws that protect our rights to invade ’em:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Let me start, O Lord, by givin’ a shout-out,

To all the Democrats who voted for the Coburn amendment,

Stunnin’ the entire country by finally showin’ some sense.

Also, Lord, thanks for creatin’ all that natural beauty,

Way back all those several thousand years ago,

In our country’s many wonderful national parks.

That was some of your best work there, Lord!

And grant us, O Lord, the overwhelmin’ firepower,

To smite any danger we might encounter in Your parks,

Purely in our own self-defense, of course.

Amen.