For the next sixty seconds, this blog will conduct a test of the Netroots Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test.
Progressives in your area, in voluntary cooperation with the Centers for Disease Control and other mental health authorities, have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of a mental health emergency.
If this had been an actual mental health emergency, you would have been . . .
BEEP–BEEP–BEEP–BEEP–BEEP–BEEP–BEEP–BEEP–BEEP–BEEP–BEEP–BEEP–BEEP
We interrupt this test to bring you breaking mental health emergency news.
As this chart reveals . . .
a serious mental health crisis is now gripping America. It’s official. Nationwide studies confirm that the brainwave activity of every Republican has flat-lined. Brainwave activity spikes briefly when Republicans feel the urge to yell LIBERAL FASCIST SOCIALISM, but then flat-lines again, until the next time a few Democrats indicate they actually give a flying fuck about average Americans. When this happens, Pavlov’s dog salivates again, a brief brainwave surge occurs somewhere in Republican skulls, and we all have to listen to another outbreak of LIBERAL FASCIST SOCIALISM bellowing.
Progressives, concerned family members, and mental health professionals have attempted to communicate in every known language with Republicans afflicted with Brain Dead Republican Syndrome, but to no avail. After lengthy deliberations in crisis meetings, America’s top psychologists concluded that maybe . . . just maybe . . . if an intellectual peer reached out to Republicans, a breakthrough might be possible. So Elmo gave it a try . . .
He’s a trouper, he gave it his best shot, but even Elmo failed. If Elmo had a forehead, Republicans would have tattooed LIBERAL FASCIST SOCIALISTS ARE DESTROYING AMERICA on it. But he doesn’t. So they tattooed it on his ass.
As you may have gathered, no progress has been made towards a cure.
Consequently, the Centers For Disease Control in Atlanta and other mental health authorities are advising that a long struggle lies ahead of us. Mass confinement of Republicans in mental institutions may be necessary.
Progressive blogs participating in the Netroots Emergency Broadcast System will keep you informed of further developments. Thank you. You may now resume your usual blogging activities.
16 comments
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What happened to our party of defending the vulnerable?
When did our party begin embracing the propping up of WS banks?
When did our party become an enabler of the largest transfer of wealth in our history?
I joined the Dem Party because I am pro-labor, pro-workers rights, pro- human rights, pro-equality, pro-environmentally responsible.
I don’t even recognize the platform of the Dem. Party, anymore.
Dems have abandoned the party of FDR and JFK.
Was the Reagan/Bush propaganda really that strong?
I still see both parties working for the Illuminati until “they” depopulate us down to 500 million. That does not mean I want to dismiss your cause Sir because each has a place in hacking away at the all controlling pyramid.
Outside of Unicorn Flu stay tuned for our next EBS about the potential flat line caused by the mind control potential in 2 days when we switch to digital TeeVee.
Elmo in HD 8 channel surround sound.
I hope they don’t let the FoxSpews crews take their cameras with them in confinement.
shown us after 2006 . . .
cause these guys and gals are only politicians. with a label that means fucking nothing.
at least, most of them are worthless. perhaps there are a few good ones. but i really would be hard-pressed to make a list.
hey R8
http://www.fema.gov/media/fact…
Spiritual Retreat is currently scheduled before those dates so let’s see if we can count on the meditating monks.