American Stupid News vs What’s Really Going On

The precedent for padding American mainstream news media with stupid, pointless and occasionally inflammatory Rovian “distracto-stories” that was laid during the Bush administration shows no signs of slowdown, much less reversal, under the Obama administration.

Then as now, I have learned that when such examples of mediocrity appear on the front pages, it’s time to check my “Rove-Free Zone” list of credible news sources to find out just what they are meant to distract us from. Here are the latest examples of this. Enjoy.

Here we have from the “Who Gives A Shit Department” a stale story about a not very bright football player who shot himself in the thigh with a gun he was carrying in a Manhattan midtown club on, ready for this? Nov. 29, 2008. Yeah. That’s right. November of last fucking year. Maybe he’s about to give birth from the experience or something, but for whatever reason, THIS is considered front page news. As a matter of fact, he’s very likely being penciled in to President Obama’s “Drink Beer With Stupid People” program schedule as I write.

From the “Crumbling Cathedral Of Agriculture Department” the NY Times brings us this stirring tale of how a couple of rich people took a failed granary and turned it into an art museum. Because, you know, in a country that could easily feed the entire world if it could figure out how the fuck to stop starving it’s own people, the world NEEDS more art museums. Next up will be an eleven page magazine feature on the Ayn Randian right wing Republitard scientist who invents edible paint and canvas so that the millions of currently homeless and jobless Americans can eat the fucking paintings. This is front page news to the New York Times, folks. Enjoy.

By the way, if you really want to know what’s actually going on in the world, the best two places to check are STILL both Spiegel, Spiegel Am Der Mauer and Dandelion Salad. Here’s a blast from the past: remember when front page news actually used to be about our interactions with other nations? Yeah, remember that? This front page Spiegel story on relations between the US and Israel is something neither Newsday nor the New York Times would DARE touch, and a key quote from the unintimidated German paper indicates that it’s been a political hot potato (especially in the New York/Long Island area) for decades:

Israel has had many a conflict with former US administrations, but in most cases the public only learned of the conflicts after they had been resolved.

Oh, and here’s another “look backwards” that some might find unwelcome – remember the ACLU? Remember them? How they used to fight for civil liberties and stuff? How odd and quaint! Why, the ACLU is almost as old-fashioned and strange and nerdy and geeky as those wacky folks who like to dress up in medieval clothing and hit each other with sticks! Here’s a look back into a yesteryear that the Obama administration finds so distasteful that they’d rather let it KEEP HAPPENING than actually look at it. I can’t wait to see the art museum they make out of Guantanamo Bay. Watch out for the lampshades.