American Dumbass

(11 am – promoted by ek hornbeck)

With all that is so terribly wrong in this sordid and rapidly decomposing empire the amount of fixation on the White House ‘Beer Summit’ offers a crystal clear glimpse through the looking glass at WHY we are all fucked. The media fueled racial circus of the story of the rogue cop James Crowley and Professor Henry A. Gates led to yesterday’s sit down with The Pope of Hope and the V.P. from the Usury State over a few beers in a symbolic conference that was given the importance of say The Yalta Conference. In our cheapened, dumbed-down, busted-flat in Baton Rouge and fucked up the ass with no lube by the oligarchy lemming colony it’s media manufactured horseshit like this that gives me zero hope that anything will ever be fixed in my lifetime. With healthcare reform pretty much dead other than the certainty that the insurance corporations will be rolling in the dough from the coming mandated coverage, the wars still raging and the phony recovery setting up millions of suckers for the next fleecing it’s drivel like this that serves as news.

Oh and Michael Jackson is still dead.

As far as Gates goes the REAL story that is not being covered anywhere is we now live in a country where the police can come into an American home and arrest the owner even if no laws were broken. We have learned to kiss the whip and to love the taste, conditioned to worship the police and military by decades of propaganda, cop shows (I must admit that I actually really liked the first Dirty Harry and Magnum Force), paramilitary torture infomercials like 24 and the militarization of culture. I am giving away my age here but when I was a kid we had wonderful little plastic soldiers, tanks, howitzers etc in green and gray that we could refight the good war daily in sandboxes and on dirtpiles. Now there are the videogames and the realistic scenarios where a player can stalk and blow away ‘the enemy’ in full graphic bloodiness. Not only have we been desensitized to the violence and weaned on war but in the bloody videogames the military industrial complex has begun training for the coming resource conflicts at the formative ages, a good amount of today’s children have thousands of simulated kills before they hit puberty. I am not going to go into a diatribe here but the gore-flecked fingers of the military are everywhere, I recommend Nick Turse’s book The Complex to all for a look at how the Pentagon invades our every day lives.

But I digress….

For this overflowing sewer of immorality, dumbness and sloth that is 2009 America to continue to exist as it does there must be internal strife, factionalization and demagoguery. Which is why the ‘Beer Summit’ is big news. The throbbing undercurrent of racism in this country is as strong as ever and now that angry white peckerwoods are running amok because there is a black man in the White House all that the oligarchy, the MIC and the tax chiselers need to do is pour a bit of gasoline on the fire here an there. It is this phenomenom that gives us the Birthers and their fanatic denial that despite evidence that Obama was born in Hawaii, these are not rational folks and their racism has been generational to the point where it is now a part of their DNA. The more vile elements of the fascist faction of the two-party game of three card monte won’t be satisfied until there are pogroms or someone poor demented busted out angry white loser takes a shot at Obama. The majority of moron America though lives in the ether, swaddled in their cocoons of denial and nurtured by the 24/7 babysitter that is the electronic crackpipe (TV). I am always reminded of the brilliant satire Idiocracy by our stupified inhabitants of the planet’s largest lemming colony.

Idiocracy is a movie that is more outright horrifying than Soylent Green, Blade Runner, Brazil or any other dystopian vision because it is already happening. I don’t know if anyone has seen the movie (which could just as easily be titled Eugenics American Style) but it’s become a cult classic since it’s release was quietly sabotaged by FOX, who produced it. The movie was at the time of release and since also completely ignored by a fat and happycorporatist media obviously uncomfortable with the message. They have reason to be afraid because Idiocracy just fucking mocks the dumbing-down of American society that is largely the result of the deterioration of mass media, the rise of southern fried religion and the relentless war on the human condition by the rapacious plague of corporatization and a form of looter capitalism that has become cancerous. I have never seen a movie that is so in your face and that obviously made the Fox honchos very uncomfortable because they are largely a culprit in the ongoing process that has stupified what was once a well informed country with real values. The movie is a bit juvenile and overly loaded with scatological references but that is the point it is trying to make and those who don’t get it bring to mind the famous poker saying that if you don’t recognize the rube at the table it’s you.

The plot features Army dullard Joe Bowers, a man of completely average intelligence and a prostitute named Rita who are the subjects of a secret military hibernation experiment of limited duration. Well things go awry and the officer in charge is ensnared by a sex scandal bringing shame and a base closure and a much longer nap for Joe and Rita who don’t wake up until they are freed from their test chambers during the great garbage avalanche of 2505. They wake up to find a world that is FUBAR, the infrastructure is crumbling and looks as though it were designed by idiots (or privatized out to greedy contractors skimming their cut at the expense of quality), the commercialization of society is complete with corporate logos everywhere and characters named after fast food and commercial products “Dr. Lexus”, “Frito” and “Beef Supreme” among them who speak in crude tongues, hurl insults and pejoratives and berate Joe for “talking like a fag”. It’s as though red state social engineering has created a Republican dream of a reverse master race of abject morons with hair trigger tempers and a birthright of simplicity – George W. Bush and Sarah Palin’s anti-intellectualism on steroids. The entire population has become twentieth generation trailer trash who in a gross parody of Social Darwinism have outbred those with any intelligence or discretion. The opening few minutes that show how this happened are as classic as they are painfully true with the educated putting off reproduction while the rednecks breed like rabbits.

Centuries of consumerism and too much television have dumbed down the populace to the point of borderline retardation and the greatest advances in technology are huge multi-screened televisions, huge devices that allow for multiple reality trash programs to be presented simultaneously while the viewer is ensconced on a huge plush chair sucking down goo from a tub while reveling in the delights of shows the likes of Ass, Ow! My Balls and the Masturbation Channel. Those three examples are the descendents of current era moronic programming like American Idol, Jackass, The Biggest Loser, Survivor and all that reality trash along with the explosion of potty humor as entertainment provided by movies featuring such Earthly delights as diarrhea daquiris, cacophonies of farts and belches, flying wads of semen used as hair gel and horny teenager boners buried in mom’s homemade apple pie that have made the society dumb and dumber as well as ruder and coarser. Corporations like Starbucks now offer handjobs as an enticement to buy a latte and Fuddruckers has become Buttfuckers – the corporate satire is as hilarious as it is mostly absent from the media and society today and the part of the movie that takes place at St. God’s Memorial Hospital with the health care system being reduced to a combination fast food joint/casino is down and out classic.

The society that Joe finds himself in is mean, greedy and stupid and the police are drooling overly aggressive thugs. After a series of mishaps and an IQ test he is summoned to the White House by President Camacho because he is now the most intelligent man on the planet and up to the task of solving the food crisis that plagues America. The crops are dying because instead of using water (that stuff in the toilet) they are irrigated by mega selling sports drink Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator. Joe suggests using H2O and is met with incredulity by the mantra of “It’s got electrolytes.” After causing massive social unrest and unemployment with replacing Brawndo which happens to be the nation’s biggest employer with his idea Joe is taken to an arena for a gladiatorial style event that is a wild combination between Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome and the local monster truck extravaganza that is televised on FOX which to no surprise is much the same as it is today other than the appearance of the anchors. Joe eventually triumphs and saves the day when the crops grow again and becomes a truly honored hero of Uh-merica. His best advice is to turn off the TV and read something once in awhile and everyone lives happily ever after.

It’s good advice and should be heeded by a nation gone to seed whose idiot inhabitants rarealy bother to pick up a book because the remote for the mind vacuum is much easier to heft and actually reading is just too much of a strain. An astonishing amount of the population don’t even read one book a year let alone a newspaper.To people like that, a flock of dumbasses who continually are duped into voting against their own self intrests to intstall the for hire agents of corporate vampires it’s no wonder that the Beer Summitt has become the most important topic of discussion.