Electronic Resume Shredding

(10 am. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

Are you still employed?  My advice is to keep that job because getting another one in this age is like getting waterboarded.  Gone are the simple days of pounding the pavement.  It has been replaced by an impersonal electronic Matrix apparently written by Satan himself.  

One of the largest pitfalls is the infamous prompt “Enter your password”.

OK, my password and username to which of the employment service boards entered in the past year?  Is it a skills test, and how about some honesty in describing password protocols.

“Please refer to our 97 page manual on password generation complete with legal disclaimers”.  Sites do have “I forgot my password” things yet I wonder if they hold that against you, I mean you have to be a retard not to remember Z*3FjUmE$19n from four months ago.

Then there are questionaires, each one different and each one using their own made up interfaces by which you enter the data.  Pen and paper would be faster but most haunting of all is my inside knowledge about HR and the data sieve that is the hiring process.  There are thousands of entries for every job and massive computer progams namely Kronos and Unicru automatically label your ass soylent green material should you meet one of their top secret rejection points.  And that rejection is as permanent as a Kos ban.

More slippery slopes show the true future of how one gets a job.  One can apply throughg Jobfox using the basic method OR the PREMIUM PACKAGE for a mere 29.95, but first you should have your resume professionally done for $349.95!

I can see where this is going.  Advanced joblessness research shows that resumes are scanned using protocols unknown to you thereby reducing your “old” resume to incoherent junk thus essentially mandating your “updated” and paid for resume.

I also have to wonder if birthdate is an automatic disqualifier.  The productivity wizards of the business world had an orgasm over recent college grads dumping the knowledge of experienced workers in exchange of cheaper wages and “compliance” indoctrinated zombinals from the MySpace set.  I was furious when Registry Mechanic placed my real name into a computer, for security reasons and this generation embraces it.  It is the same as making a whip for your slavemaster.  Age discrimination, why you can’t expect businesses to manage experienced people who have the wisdom to challenge evil do you?

I tend to doubt listings after seeing the same job for eight months and have had a couple of instances of scammers offering international money laundering jobs.  My other problem is that I seldom answer 800 numbers and if I do it’s only to play with them if I am bored.

“We are calling to confirm your FREE Bahama’s Cruise!”

“I didn’t register for a cruise and two I am under investigation by the IRS.”

“Hello, this is Gail from Cardmember Services calling to lower you credit card rates!”

“Ya, I don’t have an account with Cardmember Services though.”

Click

Missed a call from a recruiter.  Will they think me a primitive for not having a cell phone?  Do I even want another job? Should I once again participate and feed this society of the anti-christ?

So goes another day in these Interesting Times.