To the daughters of this community and America, my deepest apologies

Crossposted at daily kos

   I think of my mother and my sister, and the mothers and sisters of others, and I hang my head in shame.

   I apologize for speaking without knowing what it is like to be the other person. I apologize for the assumption that I may speak in judgement of others without pity. The uniqueness that seperates men from women is a divine one, yet seperate us it does. It blinds us, casting our differences first, and making us judge one another as men and women, and not humans first. We are all brothers and sisters. We are all as one. I presumed to think that I am better than another. I was wrong, and am ashamed.

   I would like to offer my sincere and heartfelt apology to the daughters of this community and America and the world on behalf of my own words and deeds, and that of my fellow brothers. I hope you can forgive me.

 

  On Sunday I wrote a diary that I am deeply ashamed of. Whatever purpose I had in writing such a diary was lost because I allowed anger and hate to overcome my senses. The language I used was sexist, stupid, thoughtless and disgraceful. On the whole, what I said was reprehensible and a poor reflection on both myself and this community.

   My intention was never to offend. Sadly, I allowed my rage to consume me and cloud my judgement. At no time did I intend to promote racism, sexism or any other manner of prejudice. In seeking to expose such demons I allowed myself to be corrputed by them.

   Therefore, I humbly submit this offering as a way to beg forgiveness of you, my peers, both my brothers and sisters, but particularly those of the fairer sex.

    To the daughters of this community, this nation and this world, I apologize for my behavior and the behavior of others.

    First and foremost, I would like to apologize to anybody who was offended by the diary I posted yesterday. I would also like to thank those who stated how offended they were. I hope in time you can forgive me for my transgression.

   The topic of the diary I wrote is inconsequential. I have not deleted it, shameful as it was, because I must stand by my actions, reprehensible though they may be. The diary I wrote was one of outrage, outrage at the hatred which lies in the heart of others. Foolishly, I allowed my repulsion of such hatred to forment hatred in my own heart.

   Perhaps, if there is anything that seperates us from those whom we here oppose in this world, it is shame. The ability to be ashamed and to know shame. The ability to have pity on others and to be pitied. The ability to be wrong and admit to be wrong.

   I am ashamed. I was wrong. Please have pity for me.

   I would like to thank and apologize personally to Daily Kos user PhilyGal. The shame I felt upon reading your reaction to my post is real. No matter how I edited this diary, I could not change the essence of what it was. Anger and hatred. To be percieved as sexist or racist stabbed a dagger in my heart. I never, never wish to see this in myself again, either in word or in deed. I hope you can forgive me and consider me a friend someday. Please know that I do not wish you or any other person any malice, nor do I wish to harm or offend.

   I would also like to apologize to Michelle Malkin, whom the diary I wrote referred to. In my anger I made myself just as contemptable as I found her words to be. I do not blame Ms. Malkin. I am no better than she. I ask her forgiveness, for it is not my place to judge, and I would ask her pity, for I would hope that if asked I would grant her that same forgiveness out of basic kindness and decency.

   Often we effect that which we study, and are effected by it. Sadly, in the state of affairs as they are today, the hatred and small minded devisiveness that is the staple of other political doctrines can permeate you if you do not stand your guard, and approach first with pity. I am reminded of the words of J.R.R. Tolkien

‘Pity? It was Pity that stayed his hand. Pity, and Mercy: not to strike without need. And he has been well rewarded, Frodo. Be sure that he took so little hurt from the evil, and escaped in the end, because he began his ownership of the Ring so. With Pity.’

   Pity is the heart of compassion. Without the ability to have empathy we mortals can become monsters.

   The Ring of Power may be personified in knowledge. This knowledge can be a double edged sword. In our pursuit of knoweldge and our studies of the mind and deeds of those whom we oppose we must stand on guard, lest we become like them.

   But this is neither here nor there, and I digress.

   To the daughters of this community, and America herself, I ask forgiveness. Forgiveness for the fool I have been, here and elsewhere, and forgiveness for my fellow brothers, those sons of America and the Earth who know not the pain they cause, and who judge without thinking of what it must be like to walk in your shoes. (Or heels, as you may prefer)

   I apologize for the notion held by others in the presumption to choose what a woman may do with her own body, the temple at which we should worship and not sully through a sense of ownership of another human being.

   I apologize for the pain to heart and body that we inflict through desire, or contempt, or judgement or denial.

   I apologize for those who do not treat you equally, oh daughters of America, who are not made of a man’s rib and clay, but of the same flesh and blood, and the same spirit and stardust as we, and the planet, and the very universe itself.

   I apologize for the inequity visted upon you, my sisters, and for the advantage, and the quarter that should always begiven, and never taken.

   I apologize for the loving and nurturing which you often bestow upon us, your brothers, that is often taken for granted, when we should be honoring you and protecting you, oh daughters of our fair world.

   I apologize for the fools that we are, and the judgement we seem to dole out, though we are no better by any means, and are no more deserving of the same judgement ourselves.

   To those of the LGBT community I apologize on behalf of our brothers and sisters, and for myself, if I have given cause to offend. Arguably the basest crime one could commit is to dent another the most basic of human rights, the right to love, and to be loved. On behalf of the whole of humanity I beg of you forgiveness.

   And to you, my brothers, I apologize for you and to you, and ask for your forgiveness and for forgiveness to be given to you. We have offended and have been offended against, and such is the gravity of our offense that we should always and forever ask forgiveness and pity, and be able to give both at all times as well.

   And I apologize for what we have done to the world, and to you, our sisters and daughters and brothers and sons. We should always be as equals, and not opposites. We should always strive to be as forgiving and fair, and as compassionate and nurturing as you, our sisters and mothers and daughters.

   Chiefly I would like to apologize for my own actions, and if I could make some atonement for the wrongs which have been visited upon you by myself or others I would, though no words would do you no justice, and never could there be enough time that could be set aside in which it would be proper to do so.

   I have found myself in a place in my life where there is very little love, but when I think of the offense I may have caused in my anger, regardless of why or when, I can think only of my own mother and sister, and it causes me great pain to think of another causing such harm to them. For that I am ashamed, for are we not all sisters and brothers? Are we not all sons and daughters, and children of the same stardust and matter from whence all that there is was formed?

  We are, and we would do one another a great service if we remembered this more often in our dealings with others. We are all children of the stardust, all made of the same matter from the one Big Bang. From dust we came and to dust we shall all return. What better reason to comfort one another, and to act with love and pity and forgiveness in the short time that we share together. Truly, judgement should be withheld for the Gods to deal out, for we as mortals are fools, and should not be dealing in death or judgement.


    Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life.

Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.

– J.R.R. Tolkien

   I am neither wise nor in a position to judge. The only position I or any other of us is in is one which should be pitied, and forgiven, and loved. Such is the truth of empathy.

   In conclusion, I offer this promise. Though I can not guarantee that I will not offend again, I will always ask forgiveness should I do so, and I shall always be grateful for the empathy and pity of others.

   And so I stand in shame before you, oh daughters and sons of America and our mother Earth. I stand in shame and offer my apologies and ask your forgiveness. And I thank you for your time.

   May the words of the Grand Bard speak for me in closing, for all the world is a dream and we are merely fleeting players, and we should only hope that in waking we are as noble as those who yet have passed and those who come after us, and those who still can dream.

If we shadows have offended,

Think but this, and all is mended,

That you have but slumber’d here

While these visions did appear.

And this weak and idle theme,

No more yielding but a dream,

Gentles, do not reprehend:

if you pardon, we will mend:

And, as I am an honest Puck,

If we have unearned luck

Now to ‘scape the serpent’s tongue,

We will make amends ere long;

Else the Puck a liar call;

So, good night unto you all.

Give me your hands, if we be friends,

And Robin shall restore amends.

– A Midsummer Night’s Dream, William Shakespeare

   How fitting. Robin is my mother’s name.

13 comments

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  1. it never hurts to apologize

  2. I went back and read the diary. I think I would have found the tags sexist as well and some of the diary.

    One thing I do struggle with at times is that progressive men at times, not always, and not all of them often resort to falling into sexism when taking the right to task. And yet those same men will cry foul on behalf of their sisters when the right is sexist.

    Now NOT saying you are guilty of that at all. And further, progressive women can sometimes be guilty of being sexist and or patronizing when critiquing women on the right. I know because I have fallen into that trap myself. In our anger we can at times take on the attributes of those who oppose us. I regret that I have donned that cape myself.

    So. We are all human.

    • Inky99 on August 4, 2009 at 12:10 am

    with the broomstick and all of that.

    Other than that?  Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.

    • Inky99 on August 4, 2009 at 12:11 am

    Go to DK and post a diary making fun of Ann Coulter, and saying she’s really a man.

    They LOVE that there.  

    (snark)

    • RiaD on August 4, 2009 at 2:52 am

    i just went & read the diary (here & there)

    a bit overboard imo to the severity of the ‘transgression’…. yes, i would not be pleased to be called a bitch or c*** or probably another couple terms i can’t think of just now…. but hag? yeah, i’ve looked like a hag a time or three, sometimes on purpose! harpy? yeah, i can be.

    i see no problem with those terms myself. but then i am of the opinion that people have (mostly) gone overboard with the politically correct stuff & are now offended by just about everything. i think people have forgotten how to laugh at themselves.

    that said, i think you have done well to apologize for offending. it is never a bad thing to say i’m sorry.

    (unless you’re my stupid governor who apologizes for weeks for deserting his state because he was sniffing after the argentine)

  3. I read the essay and I was not offended. You were angry and you had a right to be and yes, sometimes we say things in anger we wouldn’t say in ‘polite company’. I’ve done it just this last Sunday. I cursed like a sailor, no offens to sailors, and called my BIL bigotted,hypocrytical dumbass and I’m not taking it back.

    Michelle Malking deserved to be called every name and every combination you can think of.

    Damn political correctness, sometime you just have to let go!

    You did nothing wrong, don’t beat yourself up over nothing.

    Just sayin’.

  4. ..just sayin’. 😉

    Harpy and hag? I think they apply. Gay men use on each other all the slurs you used. Sometimes political correctness on the left, to the left, could stand to take a rest, IMHO.

    I didn’t see that you used the c-word, and that’s usually the unforgivable curse, as it were.

    Away with thy flogging noodle.

  5. I think Malkin is Philipina, an ethnic group not proportionately targeted for harassment in the US as have been Latinos, Amerindians, Blacks, Arabs, Japanese (WW2), Chinese (early 20th century) etc.

    Also, Asia has plenty of its own xenophobia and racism.

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