I need a little help. Something is bothering me and it kind of relates to this whole political blogging thing and liberalism. I’ve sought input from others, but not some as progressive and advanced in thinking as those on here.
Back in early May, there was a diary on dkos from a guy who was about to become homeless. He had a wife and a five year old child. I had some interactions with him prior on the site which indicated a like minded approach to life. He called himself a DFH, made all the right comments from a progressive point of view, and had a fairly pleasant online persona. He wrote a GBCW diary because of his situation, not because of wanting to leave, and during the course of events, I offered to put him, his wife and child up in my house for a few months. It required relocating from California to Washington, but he and his wife decided to take me up on the offer.
I gave them $450 to help them get up here and they surely did. They moved in the end of May, so now it’s been about 3 1/2 months. Since that time, he has helped me around the house for about 5 hours total. He has came out of their bedroom for about 5 hours total, not counting the time in the kitchen or bathroom. I have had a couple talks with him telling him that in my house everyone helps with the dishes and cleaning the house. He still doesn’t. His wife, who is one of those American Idol Americans, does help a bit. But this guy is absolutely amazing to me. I honestly can say I have never seen anyone lazier in my life. He searches all the time for jobs on the internet but never, NEVER, goes out of the house to look. He doesn’t go down to the employment center. Nothing. He sits in his chair between the TV and the computer all day and night. He wakes up after noon, and by 6 PM is drinking beer. That would be lunch for you and me.
I told him that I just can’t wait for him to get a job and that we would have to end this at the end of October. He has had one job interview during this time and another that he cancelled because he had no dress pants he could fit into. He should be out there earning any kind of money he can to help their situation, but he just sits, all day. I really don’t think they take anything seriously. Their kid started kindergarten just last week and I’ve had to buy her birthday present (a bike), shoes, and other things because they don’t have any money. She prefers to be the stay at home Mom while he works, yet he can’t get a job! And even if he could get a job, his skills are warehousng which pays what, not much. It’s fucking amazing.
I’ve given up on them and am just biding my time for the end of October. I will undoubtedly have to give them money to move out, but I will gladly do that. I just can’t believe this situation. A supposed progressive who says all the right things online, turns out to be worse than the fat beer drinking rednecks we rail against. BTW, he’s about 300 pounds now and was recently crying to me about how he is gaining weight. Yet he sits in that fucking chair all day and night.
I don’t know, in a way, I hope he sees this. I tried to help someone who said all the right things, and they turn out to be helpless, lazy, welfare MoFo’s. I’m disappointed. My liberalness has taken a hit. Now I have to think twice before helping someone.
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need to let off steam. I’ll probably delete after awhile. Thanks.
If you never open your heart, it never gets hurt. Or your wallet.
Some people are lazy, and some people just can’t take any more before they crack.
The problem with the meme (Obama’s new one now) of personal responsibility –in this case I mean you helping someone directly- – is that the problems are likely bigger than one person can solve. Government should have the role of retraining, fixing the guys head, or whatever needs doing–you likely can’t.
My mom basically adapted a 15 or 16 year old girl from a war torn african nation. She helped her for years, and later put her through college. But was emotionally stabbed in the back for it. We all were. She finally had to end it, because the girl (30 by then) just saw a handout or a meal-ticket. Although there was some love there too, I think.
I don’t believe in Kharma. You can do a 100 great things, and end up screwed in each and every situation. But, they’re still worth doing–up to a point, and then you have to go your own way.
“no good deed goes unpunished”.
Your story rang a bell so I checked back on my DK comments.I think I offered to help this individual too.
It’s OK to be pissed.When someone has taken advantage of your charitable nature it hurts.I know.I’ve been in your position more than once (I’m a slow learner).
I hope things work out for everyone involved but for you most of all.
I mean that partly b/c if this were me, my RANT would be waaaaay harsher than this! lol
I might have to write you an email. Im a sap too, a pushover, an easy mark (shhhhhh, dont tell everyone). I could easily be in your shoes, and in some weirdish ways, I am. We have a garage apartment “tenant” who “pays” Rent with barter, he does re-model projects in our house for us, theoretically, long stories.
So. What are you gonna do? You know he’s not going to leave in Oct just b/c you tell him to.
Who’s buying all that beer?
You need to make a Plan. Hook him up with that kossack networking site and the Kossacks in Need folks. And whatever local resources there are.
Then give him some kind of
ultimatumagreement you can enforce.Blessings.
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I’m gonna delete this. It’s a beautiful day.