Random Thoughts / Open Wolfy Thread

Good morning, my dear ones.

I was sitting on the couch to type something, you know, remotely profound, when the wolf decided to come and have his morning “greet-greet” ritual. He’s a very old man now, but has a spring in his step this morning. So his head rested on my knee, until I performed my alpha duty: “Rub this ear mom, wait, wait, now that ear mom, ok this side of my face itches, and the shoulder too. Ok, now get the eye boogers out of my eyes!” Then he has to smell my hand and make sure all of the scent glands on his neck has marked me as his, and off he goes, tail up and prancing, all perfect in his world. He loves the cold, but it is getting really hard on his hips. Sometimes he engages the young stupid dogs in play and forgets he can’t really wrestle. I sometimes forget how stunningly beautiful he is. He is a McKenzie Valley Grey Wolf, with a 2nd generation strain of Arctic. After raising 3 hybrids previously, I ended up having to take him on for my breeder, who had to move when her husband died. He was to be breeding stock. He is no hybrid. Unlike the cubs I got at 6 weeks, I got him at 6 months old. He was extremely shy for a long time, though in his old age and running with the pure-dogs as pack these last years of his life has mellowed him. He has always been a sucker for women. Little girls? Jeeez. They can maul him. Little boys (other than Jake) he would just as soon hide from. Too rowdy for his taste.

He’s only a little taller than the Shepard puppy but longer and just bigger boned, though he has lost some of his muscle bulk with age. My other stripey dog probably weighs more, now. He has thick cream fur, with the perfect saddle of black and classic face markings. He detests cameras, so it is nearly impossible to get his picture. Too many people enamored of him when he was young used flashes and he equates it with pain.

Mostly, he just is an incredibly cool being. He has a great sense of humor and a gentleness borne of him being the baby of my pack that made it hard to grow into his role as elder/alpha. Because I got him older, and he is so wolfy, he never liked to go for walks, being out of his “safe zone” just makes him want to hide under bushes. I could take the hybrids anywhere, him, not so much. He is the last of them, they all are gone now.

I have no idea why I’m writing about him, but it just flashed on me how hard it will be to let him go when the time comes. How very old he is.

Its just not right that one of your kids gets old and dies before you, you know?

Sure, it will free us up for travel, the little dogs can go anywhere with us, and will stay right by my side without a leash. Sure, I can get rid of the dog pen, and my IAMS bill will go decidedly down. Sure, its a pain in the ass when some siren goes off at 6am and he decides to howl. Sure, he is a complete pain in the ass to get in the house at night these days. I’ve lost dogs before. I’ve buried all the hybrids that predeceased him.

But this one? Not only is he my last one (its now illegal to have one in Michigan) but he is the most intelligent and empathic being I’ve met with fur. When he is interacting with you, he is so entirely, intensely in the moment with you, and yet he exists in his own world outside of my attention. (unlike dogs who are far more needy, or to put it nicer, fixated on human attention) He does, however hold grudges like a dog could never do. If I go away for a few days, he usually won’t “speak to” me for anything from a few hours to a day, while the dogs are all ADD, “Mommy’s home” whether I’m gone 2 seconds or a week.

Why am I writing about my Wolf on X mas Eve?

I have no idea. I guess he is just so amazing, I felt compelled to write about him.

Maybe its to remind me that no matter how we humans rush around, wake up with mental to-do lists in prep for tomorrow, that most of the World’s non-human beings don’t give a fuck its Christmas. For them, every day is Christmas.

They bond with their loved ones, move on and enjoy just living in whatever day they are in. Maybe if we did the little greeting/bonding rituals with one another every day, with that same intensity, that same in-the-moment purity and love as my wolf does; then we wouldn’t need the excuse of a day to share a “holiday” spirit with each other.

Now to move on to the Human activities, the fussing and prepping and traditions and such. I am not yet quite wolf. My 10 year old is already bouncing off the walls. The wolf and dogs are happily staring up a tree at a squirrel teasing them, oblivious.

In the meantime, one of those duties is producing food for them. They like that part of our human fussiness.

heh.

Happy Xmas Eve!