Sam Suburbanite’s Lawnmower

Sammy Suburbanite looked down at his broken lawnmower puzzled.  The pull starter snapped.  Half the yard was covered in leaves but the money saver engineers at MTD had decided to pop rivet the pull starter to the engine casing.  It renders the most likely thing to break unfixable but Sammy was tool savy and drilled the rivets out.  The Sammy’s inner voice began talking.

Sam now had the offending pull start mechanism apart only to find out removing and replacing the rope involved bending metal tabs.  One of the three tabs breaks after Sam is done replacing the rope.  This made the entire thing junk but more startling Sam heard a voice.

“Now what are you going to do?”

“Well, I’ll go to Home Depot to see if they have the part.”

Sam does and they have everything but replacement pull starters for MTD 6 HP lawnmovers.

Then the voice speaks,”Why don’t you just forget about it?”

“Forget about it?  There are still leaves in the yard I have to chop up.”

“How ungreen of you, how enviornmentally not correct.”

“Huh?”

“All this work, the time, effort and money spent for leaves?”

“Well I suppose so buy you just gotta keep up the appearances, people will complain you know.”

“Yes but look at the waste.  You have a five hundred dollar throw away lawnmower, a piece of ground which does nothing but pollute from your fertilizer run off and you are still not happy.”

“So what do I do?”

“I’ll tell you what, after Copenhagen you might as well move to the carbon gulag, live in the seventh floor 1 bedroom jail cell, cause that is all you will be able to afford.  The climategate whitewash is on you know.”