The Super Bowl is Saved!

(noon. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

Whew!

I know this will be hard for ya to believe, but those liberal eggheads at CBS came to their senses yesterday and rejected an ad from ManCrunch.com to appear during the Super Bowl.  What a relief for America!  Can you imagine exposin’ the fresh-faced youngsters of America to  disgusting garbage as to which is demonstrated in the following manner?

(Note: the following video should not be viewed by anyone under any circumstances. It’s got somethin’ icky that is expressly forbidden in the Book of Leviticus.)

This whole kerfuffle got started when the University of Florida’s quarterback, Tim Tebow, was scheduled to appear in a patriotic commercial celebratin’ the extremely undisputed fact that his mom chose life when a liberal doctor demanded she have an abortion during her pregancy with Tim.  

Thank the Lord she chose life, because Tim grew up to be an inspiration to us all!  He avoided the liberal elite education system by gettin’ homeschooled, but still participated in patriotic events at school such as football.  This inspired the Alabama legislature to propose the Tim Tebow Bill, which would allow the fine products of Alabama’s home schools to participate in high school sports too.  And Tim went on to become a legend at the University of Florida, winnin’ two national championships and winnin’ the Heisman Trophy in 2007 for bein’ the dreamiest college football player in the nation.  I gotta tell ya, if only I was 20 4 years younger . . . say, I wonder if Tim and Bristol might hit it off?

So when James Dobson and his Focus on the Family group wanted to make a Super Bowl commercial demonizin’ the ol’ baby killers in America, who did they turn too?  Well, obviously the answer is Tim Tebow, because if it wasn’t this essay would make even less sense than my other essays.  They submitted the commercial and CBS (along with the NFL) approved it to run during the Super Bowl.  CBS had wisely turned down advocacy ads in the past if they were too gay, but allowed Tebow’s ad sayin’ that as long as it was “responsibly produced” it was hunky-dory to air it.  And who could be more responsible than James Dobson?

Alas, you can guess what happened next.  The FemiNazis went nuts, whinin’ about “how are we gonna kill our babies if this ad is run during the Super Bowl?” (or words to that effect).  And that’s when the perverts at ManCrunch.com saw their opening (so to speak).  They decided to exploit the controversy of Tim Tebow’s heroic life by submittin’ the aforementioned filth to also air during the Super Bowl.

I applaud CBS (shudder!) in this instance for allowin’ the Tebow ad but rejectin’ the ManCrunch ad.  It renews my faith in this great country of ours, where a homeschooled kid can grow up to stick it to the abortionists during the Super Bowl, AND hit the gays with some of the shrapnel!  Even though it goes without sayin’, let me say that two “men” shouldn’t be touchin’ each other in any manner whatsoever.  God is watchin’ ya!  Don’t embarrass Him (and yourselves) with your deviant perversions.  But if you must (ewwwww!), please don’t do it during the holiest football game of the season.  Try to wait for the figure skatin’ at the Olympics in a few weeks.

As for two women hookin’ up . . . well . . . obviously we can’t let ’em marry each other, but if they were to experiment a bit in the ‘ol romance department . . . it can actually be quite beautiful.  I remember this one time in college when my roommate and I were . . . oh, gosh darn it, the phone is ringin’ . . . gotta go now!