February 3, 2010 archive

drink me.

and i will empty your mind.

Drink me. Yes, you can.

Drink me, damn it.

It’s a bitter swill. But at least it’s not that little purple pill…

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Afternoon Edition

Afternoon Edition is an Open Thread

44 Story Final.

From Yahoo News Top Stories

1 Haiti polls delayed amid post-quake chaos

by David Dieudonne, AFP

Tue Feb 2, 9:46 pm ET

PORT-AU-PRINCE (AFP) – Three weeks after a massive earthquake crippled Haiti, authorities indefinitely postponed upcoming legislative elections amid lingering chaos and rising security concerns.

The move underlined the impotence of the Haitian government in the wake of the 7.0-magnitude January 12 quake that killed an estimated 170,000 people and left many official buildings, including the presidential palace, in ruins.

“The electoral council has decided to postpone the legislative elections of February 28 and March 3, 2010, to a later unspecified date,” the authorities announced on Tuesday, giving no further details.

Obama SLAMS Sen. Lincoln and centrist Dem Senators! About frikkin time

Crossposted at Daily Kos

From today’s meeting between President Obama and Senate Democrats today comes this gem . . . .

   

“If the price of certainty is essentially for us to adopt the exact same proposals that were in place for eight years leading up to the biggest economic crisis since the Great Depression — we don’t tinker with health care, let the insurance companies do what they want, we don’t put in place any insurance reforms, we don’t mess with the banks, let them keep on doing what they’re doing now because we don’t want to stir up Wall Street — the result is going to be the same,” he said. “I don’t know why we would expect a different outcome pursuing the exact same policy that got us into this fix in the first place.”

    Middle class Americans, Obama said, “are more and more vulnerable, and they have been for the last decade, treading water. And if our response ends up being, you know, because we don’t want to — we don’t want to stir things up here, we’re just going to do the same thing that was being done before, then I don’t know what differentiates us from the other guys. And I don’t know why people would say, boy, we really want to make sure that those Democrats are in Washington fighting for us.”

huffingtonpost.com



Bold text added by the diarist

   The question that inspired this response from our President and more below the fold.

Obama SLAMS Sen. Lincoln and centrist Dem Senators! About frikkin time

From today’s meeting between President Obama and Senate Democrats today comes this gem . . . .

   

“If the price of certainty is essentially for us to adopt the exact same proposals that were in place for eight years leading up to the biggest economic crisis since the Great Depression — we don’t tinker with health care, let the insurance companies do what they want, we don’t put in place any insurance reforms, we don’t mess with the banks, let them keep on doing what they’re doing now because we don’t want to stir up Wall Street — the result is going to be the same,” he said. “I don’t know why we would expect a different outcome pursuing the exact same policy that got us into this fix in the first place.”

    Middle class Americans, Obama said, “are more and more vulnerable, and they have been for the last decade, treading water. And if our response ends up being, you know, because we don’t want to — we don’t want to stir things up here, we’re just going to do the same thing that was being done before, then I don’t know what differentiates us from the other guys. And I don’t know why people would say, boy, we really want to make sure that those Democrats are in Washington fighting for us.”

huffingtonpost.com



Bold text added by the diarist

   The question that inspired this response from our President and more below the fold.

The ’60s, Our ’60s, Began Fifty Years Ago Yesterday

Nothing to do with rock & roll. Nothing to do with JFK.

It has to do with what happened in Greensboro, NC, the day before, February 1, 1960. Four young men–Ezell A. Blair Jr., David Richmond, Joseph McNeil and Franklin McCain–went to the lunch counter at the Woolworth’s department store near the school where they were underclassmen, North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University.

The four sat down and awaited service. They ignored Woolworth’s policy of serving food only to African-Americans who remained standing or took it elsewhere. They defied North Carolina law and the Jim Crow culture which pervaded, indeed defined, the South of the United States. The four sat, unserved, from 4:30 in the afternoon until management closed the store, early, at 5:00.

You can find much written that dates the decade of upsurge, promise and change we call the Sixties from that day.

I’ll argue for the next day, February 2, 1960, 50 years ago yesterday.

That’s the day that really counts, because that morning David Richmond, Joseph McNeil, Ezell A. Blair Jr., and Franklin McCain went back to the lunch counter at the Greensboro Woolworth’s and sat down again. So did 21 other young men and four young women from traditionally Black schools in the area.

The next day, February 3, 63 of the 65 seats at the Woolworth’s counter were occupied and on February 4 a sit-in began at S.H. Kress, another department store, and the protesters had been joined by three white students from Woman’s College. At the same time racist whites in increasing numbers gathered to heckle and harass the disciplined and determined protesters.

On February 7, Black students in Winston-Salem and Durham, NC held sit-ins at lunch counters. On February 8, Charlotte, NC. On February 9, Raleigh, NC.

It took five long months before the Greensboro establishment caved in and ended segregation in dining facilities. Once the original burst of enthusiasm and defiance passed, it was a long hard slog for the ones who started it and the small core that had formed in the struggle. McCain recalls:

McNeil and I can’t count the nights and evenings that we literally cried because we couldn’t get people to help us staff a picket line.

But even as they undertook the long painful battle to bring the victory home, their example had spread the tactic of sit-ins to hundreds of localities, including solidarity protests at chain stores in the North and West. Even more important, their action in sitting down at that counter, and returning the next day had spread the determination to smash Jim Crow and fight for justice to the hearts of millions.

And the Sixties, our Sixties, were underway.

A version of this was posted here last year, and it is crossposted from Fire on the Mountain.

You can help write the 2010 Green Party Platform

Attention Green Party members!

I'd like to invite you to an experiment in online democracy.

The Green Party of the United States is amending its platform for 2010.

You are invited to help update the Green Platform in an open, collaborative process on GreenChange.org and GP.org, the website of the Green Party of the United States.

A number of volunteers have already joined our platform writing team – will you help too?

The Green platform represents our movement's collective aspirations for an American society based on peace, justice, democracy and sustainability.

In the spirit of grassroots democracy, we want to maximize participation in the platform amendment process. So we've posted the 2004 Green platform, section by section, and we invite you to post your suggestions on how to improve it.

Read and comment on the platform. Post your suggested amendments too.

Democracy
Social Justice
Ecological Sustainability
Economic Sustainability
Nonviolence

We have until February 15th to collaborate, discuss and debate, then we'll work with you to pass on your suggested amendments to your state Green Party. Only state Green parties and national party caucuses can submit amendments. The amendments must be sent to the Platform Committee no later than April 15th.

This is your chance to lend your voice to the Green Party's vision for our world.

I hope you'll join us today, and forward this invitation to your friends and colleagues.

Peace!

What would you say if they were calling you a “radical?”

First, if someone were calling you a “radical,” ask them to define their terms.   The term has such a wide variance of meanings as to be applicable to essentially opposite things, and some things in between, allowing for an absolute lack of accountability in its typically inflammatory usage.

The etymological “root” of radical is the Latin word radix, meaning root, connoting some essential, fundamental, or basic origin.  

Open Laughter

Fight Sexual Harrassment in the Fields: Sign the UFW Petition

Giumarra Vineyards, the world’s largest table grape company, harvests approximately 1 out of every 10 bunches of grapes picked in the US. The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has just filed suit against Giumarra Vineyards for allegedly violating federal law by sexually harassing a teenage female farm worker and retaliating against farm workers who came to her aid:

According to the EEOC’s suit (EEOC v. Giumarra Vineyards Corporation, et al, Case No. 1:09-cv-02255), the young woman “was subjected to sexual advances, sexually inappropriate touching and abusive and offensive sexual comments about the male sex organ by a male co-worker.” The EEOC further alleged that after witnessing the sexual harassment, farm workers came to the aid of the teenage victim and complained to Giumarra Vineyards.

Giumarra/Nature’s Partner Campaign Action Page

So the company fired the woman who was harrassed!

One day after reporting the incident, the victim and people who helped her were fired. The EEOC suit states they “were summarily discharged in retaliation for their opposition to the sexual harassment.” (More details in the EEOC’s press release.)

Giumarra/Nature’s Partner Campaign Action Page

The United Farm Workers has started a petition.  Dolores Huerta, who is the co-founder and First Vice President Emeritus of the United Farm Workers of America, AFL-CIO (UFW), will be leading a women’s delegation to hand the petition in on Monday Feb 15. The UFW already have more than 7,000 signatures.

SIGN THE PETITION: Giumarra Vineyards sued

PETITION TEXT

I am astonished and dismayed at Giumarra’s disregard of the law.  This is not medieval times.  In the 21st century workers have the right to speak up to protect themselves and others. Giumarra is not above the law. It is astonishing that the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission was forced to file suit against Giumarra Vineyards for violating federal law by sexually harassing a teenage female farm worker and retaliating against farm workers who came to her aid.

As the world’s largest table grape company, your behavior helps set the industry standard. You should be ashamed of the example you are setting both in this case with the sexual harassment and retaliation and with your dismal history of worker protection. This behavior reflects negatively on your company and your Nature’s Partner label.

It’s time for your company to realize that you are not above the law. Stop the sexual harassment and retaliation for field workers who speak up or support the UFW. Your consumers are watching.

Please sign the Petition and help the women in the fields.  

Strategy 102: Thinking Differently

Cross-posted At DailyKos

This is the second in a small series of diaries on strategy. In the first one I attempted to explain why strategy is so important. That diary was inspired by a diary from thereisnospoon, entitled: “No One Is Going To Save You Fools”. I am looking at a different piece of the equation than thereisnospoon, but the underlying idea is similar. If you want to advance a progressive/populist agenda, it should be apparent that no one is going to do it for you. You must do the heavy lifting yourself and thereisnospoon brings one tool to the table. I bring a different one – strategy.

I then gave an example of what I consider to be an ineffective strategy – one that should resonate with many on this site. I’ll call the strategy the “throw the bums out” strategy. The public frequently uses it when the politicians fail to deliver on their promises. It is non-partisan; both sides use it. The assumption is that we have “bad” politicians in office who listen to special interests over their constituents and if we just replace them with “good” politicians, everything will be OK. This assumption arises from a common cognitive bias called the fundamental attribution error. This bias shows a pervasive tendency on the part of observers to overestimate personality or dispositional causes of behavior and to underestimate the influence of situational constraints on the behavior of others. Systems studies have shown time and time again that if you have a system that constantly results in undesirable behavior on the part of participants in the system, the most common reaction is to replace the participants. And this action rarely if ever is effective if there are strong incentives and disincentives built into the system which reward the undesirable behavior and discourage the desirable behavior. You must instead find leverage points to alter the structure of the system. So a “throw the bums out” strategy by itself is ineffective.

If you choose an ineffective strategy, you can find yourself expending considerable effort and making little progress. Hit the appropriate leverage points and minimal effort can produce surprising results. This is why strategy is so important. That was my objective with the first diary.

In this diary, I’m going to elaborate on the different types of thinking skills that are useful in strategy. The reductionist, analytical thinking skills emphasized in academia will only go so far in strategy. You will need to add new ways of thinking to your arsenal. I’ve already mentioned systems thinking. I’m going to concentrate here on dialectical thinking, since it is very pertinent to political strategy in particular. I should also point out that there is little consensus on what a dialectic is or what dialectical thinking entails. That may frustrate readers who decide to investigate this further. I tend to favor the work of Michael Basseches, if that is any help. A good article that introduces his work was published in Integral Review:

http://integral-review.org/documents/Development%20of%20Dialectical%20Thinking%201,%202005.pdf

I’m going to jump right into an example, because if I start discussing esoteric concepts first you will likely find it boring or fail to see how it connects to politics. Ed Kilgore in the New Republic was discussing ideological differences:

http://www.tnr.com/blog/the-plank/taking-ideological-differences-seriously

and remarked:

To put it more bluntly, on a widening range of issues, Obama's critics to the right say he's engineering a government takeover of the private sector, while his critics to the left accuse him of promoting a corporate takeover of the public sector. They can't both be right, of course, and these critics would take the country in completely different directions if given a chance. But the tactical convergence is there if they choose to pursue it.

 

Glenn Greenwald elaborated on Kilgore’s remarks in a column on health care in Salon:

http://www.salon.com/news/opinion/glenn_greenwald/2009/12/18/corporatism/index.html

Whether you call it “a government takeover of the private sector” or a “private sector takeover of government,” it's the same thing: a merger of government power and corporate interests which benefits both of the merged entities (the party in power and the corporations) at everyone else's expense. Growing anger over that is rooted far more in an insider/outsider dichotomy over who controls Washington than it is in the standard conservative/liberal ideological splits from the 1990s.

I assert that most people will think along the lines of Kilgore and believe that a “government takeover of the private sector” or a “private sector takeover of government” are two different things – polar opposites and you can’t have both. I assert that Greenwald understands you can have both and he is absolutely correct. The synthesis is a merger of government power and corporate interests which benefits both of the merged entities. This is an example of dialectical thinking. You may have heard of Hegel and the three-valued model ascribed to him called the Hegelian dialectic or Thesis-Antithesis-Synthesis. This is a perfect example, which I will elaborate on shortly. The figure below is from the Gestalt School psychologists who investigated perception using visual illusions. It is called the Rubin Illusion. This illusion shows a white vase against a black background. The contours of the vase create silhouettes of faces.

 

Rubin Illusion 

We have a post on our blog that discusses this illusion:

http://strategypraxis.blogspot.com/2010/01/concept-of-dialectic.html

The Rubin Illusion also demonstrates a dialectic – in the sense of a juxtaposition of opposing elements where the two sustain and transform one another. The two are mutually constitutive in a continual process of interaction. Without the vase one would not be able to see the two faces and without the two faces one would not be able to see the vase. For purposes of this discussion, we will use this very narrow definition of a dialectic.

 

Michael Basseches in his writing on dialectical thinking defines a dialectic as a developmental transformation, which occurs via constitutive and interactive relationships. He doesn’t use the Rubin Illusion, but I think that figure is a great way to drive home the concept. If you use this narrow definition of a dialectic, you will find examples of this everywhere. So, how can this be used in strategy? From our blog post:

 

The phenomenon of a dialectic can be used strategically. A particularly devious stratagem is where you wish to advance an extremely unpopular agenda. The majority of people would oppose the agenda. The stratagem involves creating a false dichotomy instead. Let’s call the desired agenda C, which the majority would reject. The people are presented with the choice between A or B, which appear to the misinformed as opposites, but which are in fact dialectically related. People alternate between choosing A and B, which actually advances the agenda C that most people would prefer to avoid in the first place.

 

This is the most successful strategy you can employ when you wish to advance an agenda that will be almost uniformly opposed. No amount of sophisticated messaging will work. If you attempt to push the agenda directly, out will come the torches and pitchforks. You must advance the agenda via stealth and in such an indirect way that most people will not realize what you are up to.

If you have an agenda that is opposed by some, but not an overwhelming majority, an incremental strategy will often suffice. I recall a few diaries on this site regarding the Overton Window. The Overton window is a concept in political theory, named after its originator, Joe Overton, former vice president of the Mackinac Center for Public Policy. You can use this concept to create an incremental strategy. This results in a fairly straight-line trajectory, however, and if your opponents are sophisticated strategists they will instantly figure out what you are up to and place roadblocks in your path. For those advocating same-sex marriage, for example, an incremental approach beginning with domestic partnerships and moving to civil unions and then full marriage rights could have had merit – unless your opponents catch on and pass constitutional amendments banning not only same-sex marriage but also civil unions. That in fact, is exactly what happened.

Back to the original example. Greenwald notes the incestuous relationship between big government and big business:

In the intelligence and surveillance realms, for instance, the line between government agencies and private corporations barely exists. Military policy is carried out almost as much by private contractors as by our state's armed forces. Corporate executives and lobbyists can shuffle between the public and private sectors so seamlessly because the divisions have been so eroded. Our laws are written not by elected representatives but, literally, by the largest and richest corporations. At the level of the most concentrated power, large corporate interests and government actions are basically inseparable.

 

I assert that big government really needs big business and big business profits from big government. It is like the Rubin Illusion. Without the vase one would not be able to see the two faces and without the two faces one would not be able to see the vase. The book NEOLIBERALISM: A Critical Reader has a chapter entitled “Neoliberal Globalisation: Imperialism without Empires?” by Hugo Radice. The author states:

 

Straight away, there is an apparent contradiction. Neoliberalism is supposedly all about regulating economic life by means of free markets, with a minimal role for the state; imperialism is traditionally about the exercise of power by one state over other states, through political and military means. So how can the two be reconciled?

 

They can be reconciled because they are dialectically related. Adopt this perspective and suddenly many things that initially don’t make sense now make perfect sense. Greenwald notes the almost universal opposition to corporatism on both the left and the right. As someone who has both progressive and conservative friends, I see first hand overwhelming opposition to corporatism.

 

As I've noted before, this growing opposition to corporatism — to the virtually absolute domination of our political process by large corporations — is one of the many issues that transcend the trite left/right drama endlessly used as a distraction. The anger among both the left and right towards the bank bailout, and towards lobbyist influence in general, illustrates that.

 

I know many on the left that believe that government with strong regulations will provide a check on corporate power. The assumption is that the regulations will be applied fairly across the board. If there are loopholes in the regulations that can be exploited exclusively by big business or if the costs to comply with the regulations can be borne easier by big business due to economy of scale, then big business can profit from heavy regulations through elimination and consolidation of smaller players. There are numerous examples of key corporate figures moving from corporate positions to positions within the very regulatory agencies that monitor the corporations they worked at. Big business can then become even bigger and have even greater influence on government, advancing the corporatist agenda.

So on the surface, it may appear that strong government regulation of business vs. deregulation and free-market policies are polar opposites. I assert that both can reinforce corporatism if done right. And the establishment is very good at doing it right. This is a perfect example of this amazing strategy in action. The electorate on both the left and the right almost uniformly oppose corporatism. If the establishment directly pushes this agenda, out will come the torches and pitchforks. However, if the agenda is carefully split between two paths that appear polar opposites, but are in fact dialectically related, then it is irrelevant which path is followed. The agenda advances. The public picks path A – they lose. The agenda advances. The public picks path B – they lose. The agenda advances. They always lose and big government/big business always win. Since most people do not understand the concept of dialectic nor do they think dialectically, they fully expect that if you flip back and forth between path A and path B you will get a middle of the road result. But you don’t – and that is why the strategy works so well.

Dangerous “Turtle Gap” Developin’ With Iran

America, you need to get scared RIGHT NOW!

As if socialism, Death Panels, and a potty-mouthed Chief-of-Staff weren’t enough to get ya cowerin’ under your ol’ beds there, we got ourselves a frightenin’ new problem:

Iran announced Wednesday it has successfully launched a 10-foot-long research rocket carrying a mouse, two turtles and worms into space – a feat President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said showed Iran could defeat the West in the battle of technology.

Real Contentment Never Has to Settle for Good Enough

Being that we are growing closer and closer to Valentine’s Day, the supposedly most romantic (or depressing) of all holidays, I’d like to branch out a bit and take on a different topic than the norm today.  NPR commentator Lori Gottlieb has just released a book entitled Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough.  In it, Gottlieb insists that a generation of contradictory messages and empowering commandments largely advanced by Feminism have prevented women from choosing a more-than-adequate husband when the opportunity presents itself.  Instead, as Gottlieb suggests, such pronouncements have encouraged women to hold out for the perfect mate.  Liesl Schillinger’s review of the book in The Daily Beast summarizes and echoes my own response to a very incendiary text.

The way she sees it, as she explains in a chapter called, “How Feminism F****d Up My Love Life,” a generation of women (or should I say ‘girls’?) who ought to have been taught-like their great-grandmothers and like women in Taliban-era Afghanistan-to be demure in deportment and modest in aspiration, were tricked by the women’s movement into “ego-tripping themselves out of romantic connection.” That’s right girls: If you’re unwillingly unwed, blame it on mom and Title IX for duping you into educating, respecting and supporting yourselves. She intends this book, she writes, as a blood-chilling cautionary tale, “like those graphic anti-drunk driving public service announcements that show people crashing into poles and getting killed.”

Even I, as a man, take issue with many of Gottlieb’s conclusions and rather glib pronouncements because they seem to reflect personal experience more than abject truth.  A variety of factors besides luck, personality, and presentation determine our success at the often-infuriating dating game.  Gottlieb’s analysis never takes into account rudimentary and simplistic variables that cast doubt as to the veracity of her entire work as a whole.  Of all of the areas she neglects to take into account, that which comes to mind first is location.

In Washington, DC, my adopted home, one gratefully finds a vast amount of young adults like me in their twenties and thirties.  A disproportionate share of them are female, which means that the competition for available men can be fairly fierce, if not deeply frustrating at times.  A 2006 Washington Post article confirms this.  

The U.S. government has confirmed what we single women in Washington have known for some time — there are no single men in the District. Or, more precisely, not enough single men in the District.

According to the Census Bureau’s recently released 2005 American Community Survey, the District has the lowest — read, worst — ratio of single men to single women in the nation. For every 100 single women in Washington, there are only 93.4 men. That’s just over nine-tenths of a man for every woman. Now, if you’ve been single for as long as I have in this town, nine-tenths of a man is starting to sound pretty good.

Further compounding this struggle is that the stereotypical Washingtonian male is heavily Type A, married to his job, bereft of an actual personality outside of his occupation, and inclined to frequently take his work home with him, both literally and figuratively.  Speaking purely from my own experiences, my girlfriend jokes that she had to import me from elsewhere, since many prior experiences finding a suitable relationship partner had been dismal.  I wasn’t aware of how common the problem was until, while at dinner one night, each of her female friends seated around the table mentioned they’d had the same exact problem.  If we’re to take Gottlieb at face value, then these women ought to put the blame at the feet of Feminism or at the dissolution of the traditional ways of courting.

This inequality in gender distribution also reflects the percentage of married couples in the DC Metro area.

According to a recent Pew Research study, the District of Columbia has the lowest marriage rate in the country. Only 23 percent of women and 28 percent of men and in D.C. are married, compared to 48 and 52 percent nationwide. The rates in D.C. are so low that they lie entirely off the Pew map’s color key. The closest states to D.C.’s numbers are Rhode Island, where 43 percent of women are married, and Alaska, where 47 percent of men are married.

Why aren’t D.C. residents getting hitched?

The Pew poll offers up one possibly related figure: residents of D.C. get married significantly later in life than do the residents of the 50 states. In D.C., the median age at first marriage is 30 for women and 32 for men. In contrast, the median age for a first marriage in the state of Idaho is 24 for women and 25 for men.

In the suburban, middle class, predominantly white city in Alabama where I grew up, most in my age range got married either in their early twenties or at least by their mid-twenties.  When it came time for my tenth high school reunion this past August, I noticed by a quick survey of the Facebook page thoughtfully created for the event that roughly 60%-70% of my class had already gotten married.  Of those, based on my own research, it appeared that 40% of my female classmates had given birth to at least one child.  To say that I didn’t quite fit in to the prevailing demographics would be putting it exceedingly lightly.

To return to Schillinger’s analysis,


A woman doesn’t always find it easy to persevere in a tepid affair once it’s actual, not notional. And a man doesn’t have to be handsome to bolt-or to take umbrage at the suspicion that he’s being “settled” for. Perhaps in the future, in an over-perfected, suspense-less, Gattaca universe, men will come with LED displays on their foreheads that read: “I mean business” or “I’m deliberately wasting your time,” or, “Actually, I’m gay,” or “I’ll marry you, but we’ll loathe each other and I’ll leave you for a 20-year old when you’re 37.” Until that day comes, one wonders how Gottlieb can be so emphatic in her pronouncements, so blistering in her blame of single women for being entitled and picky in their 20s, and “desperate but picky” thereafter.  

I wouldn’t at all encourage anyone, male or female, gay or straight (or somewhere in between), cisgender or transgender, to find much helpful or worthy of emulation in the traditional strategies regarding marriage and/or settling down that are prevalent in the region of my birth.  Had I been born in the rural South rather than the city South, most people in my high school class would be married by now and many would probably have had at least one child well before the age of thirty.  I’ve often been a proponent of waiting and using extreme caution before jumping into marriage or parenthood—both require a tremendous amount of patience, maturity, and energy.  As such, I take tremendous offense to Gottlieb’s bitter hypothesis, since I doubt she’d be any happier with three kids, a mortgage, and a lingering sense of doubt that she’d tossed aside the freedom of adulthood for the supposed contentment of marriage and motherhood.  Between the fear of spinsterhood and the fear of being forced into a role of great responsibility at too early an age rests the reality.  Life promises us nothing but the chance to roll the dice or play a hand at the table.  Both sides of the coin, be it a lifetime of cats as companions or PTA meetings and dirty diapers are not necessarily the only two expected outcomes from which women can choose.              

Schillinger concludes,

There’s such a thing as luck, and there’s such a thing as love. Sometimes the two forces combine, sometimes, they don’t. If luck and love had combined for Gottlieb, today she might be a housewife in Teaneck with an SUV of her own, two kids and a mortgage, and she would not have had the need or the time to have built her fabulous career, or to have written this whining, corrosive, capricious book. Now there’s a happy ending. But for anyone who dares order millions of people she doesn’t know to sell out their dreams, regret their accomplishments, fear their futures and “Marry him,” whoever he is, I have two words: You first.

Though I, as a man don’t quite feel the same societal compulsion to marry, I will mention in all seriousness that I always craved the stability and the solid grounding of, if not marriage, certainly a long-term relationship.  Though I am nearly thirty, I spent most of my twenties being ahead of the learning curve, and my expectations were always severely tempered by prior relationship partners who wanted only to have fun and to not entertain anything particularly serious.  Now, finally, what I want and have wanted for a while is more in line with others my age, but in saying this, I would never make the assumption that every presumably heterosexual woman in her early thirties and beyond who isn’t married is desperate to find a husband and start a family.  This is certainly true with some, but not all.  Not even close.  Believing what Gottlieb has to say means that we must take her overblown postulates and acerbic suppositions at face value without expanding them beyond a very narrow sample of the population.

No successful movement is instantly realized upon enactment.  Establishing greater equality for women at times looks a little raggedy and uneven because change doesn’t happen overnight.  Like Gottlieb, it is easy to confuse states of transition with proof of their ultimate dysfunction.  It doesn’t take a leap of faith to trust that gender equality is inevitable, but it does take an open mind and with it quite a bit of patience to recognize that no unfinished work in progress will find its way onto the walls of an art gallery as an unquestioned masterpiece.  This same kind of buyer’s remorse I see from time to time in books like Gottlieb’s, each of which reflects the same basic frustration and fear that irrefutable results for generations worth of effort are never going to manifest themselves and that these sorts of struggles have created more problems than solutions.  Again, I counter that true contentment lies within the self, not necessarily within the parameters of any movement.  Each of us has more control over ourselves than over any progressive construct of seeking cultural evolution.  Look within the movement as a whole if you want to know where to leave your mark, but look within yourself if you want to find a relationship partner.  Never confuse the two.        

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