Feb 14 2010

NATO TRIUMPHS IN AFGHANISTAN!

In an unusually honest appraisal (compared to their usual left-wing rubbish), the Guardian has announced NATO’s complete military and humanitarian TRIUMPH IN AFGHANISTAN!

Just read the caption under their awesome photograph at the top of the story, which they ran immediately under the equally awesome headline “Coalition troops force Taliban retreat from key stronghold.”

US-Marines-Afghanistan--T-001

“US Marines from Bravo Company, 1st Battalion, 6th Marines, protect an Afghan man and his child after Taliban fighters opened fire in the town of Marjah, in Nad Ali district, Helmand province.”

The Afghan man huddles behind US Marines, who protect him and his child against homicidal Taliban maniacs!

And it only gets better!

Hours before the offensive, the commander of British forces in Helmand, Brigadier James Cowan, had briefed UK troops to avoid shooting even if it meant putting their lives in danger. He said: “Hold your fire if there is a risk to the innocent, even if this puts you in greater danger. Restraint requires courage.”

HURRAH!

By nightfall not a single civilian casualty had been reported!

Zero civilian casualties! Taliban on the run!

Reporters embedded with the troops yesterday reported US Cobra helicopters and Harrier jets firing missiles at tunnels, bunkers and other defensive ­positions before the ground offensive began.

NATO only fired missiles at “tunnels and bunkers and other defensive ­positions!”

No houses or civilians were harmed in the making of this imbecilic cartoon which is supposed to represent the murderous and illegal occupation of Afghanistan and the slaughter of tens of thousands of primitive tribesmen who never attacked England or the United States before we invaded their God-forsaken country.  

2 comments

  1. Yeah, tell me about it.  Too bad nobody had the courage to say no to this mess before we got into it.

  2. And now from the other side of the Guardian’s schizo covereage, about McChrystal’s “government in a box,” which is supposedly ready to install once Marjah is “pacified.”

    So what is in the box? Once the fighting has ended, Isaf has dedicated “district development teams” to move into Marjah. A US team is working alongside a group of Afghan civil servants which the Karzai government is allegedly meant to deploy. To encourage them to serve in what must be a highly risky secondment, their average monthly salary is being quintupled to about $300. Once all this is done, the plan is for the US Agency for International Development to help farmers plant crops by opening up the canal network, a project started by the US half a century ago, but which it has yet to complete. As if that were not enough, Hanif Atmar, the Afghan interior minister, urged elders from Marjah’s main tribes to give him their sons so that he can recruit 1,000 local police officers, whose job will be to keep the Taliban out.

    So at least one aspect of our $1.4 billion per week occupation is still a bargain: Afghan police to risk their lives in Helmand after the Marines depart, when presumably salaries won’t be quintupled any more, and the going rate will return to $60 per month.

    “Give me your sons!” says Hanif Atmar, the Afghan interior minister.

    “Give me your sons!”

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