Olympic Alternatives VI

You thought I was not serious?

I’m dead serious.  The only way to effect change is through sacrifice (changing your habits) and protest (telling people what you think, publicly).

Plenty of other stuff out on the Hypnotoad.  Just look-

The Hypnotoad.

"Television is a vast wasteland"

Mid-Afternoon Update.

Early Evening Update.

Late Evening Update.

Late Night Update.

What are you doing Update.

Here’s a list of things (not comprehensive) I think more worthy of your eyeballs.

Instead of Ski Cross and Men’s Biathalon on NBC or Women’s Curling on MSNBC

I think Oxygen only has the one program.  Today’s Snapped Marathon is only 14 and a half hours.  By comparison the 8 and a half hours we spend Keeping Up With the Kardashians doesn’t seem long at all.

A pretty serious movie day, depending on what you like.  Outside of the obvious blockbusters like the new Bond (Daniel Craig), Kirk Douglas, Eastwood, Pollack, Guinness, Cloney, Hanks, Murphy, and Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, I’d like to direct your attention to two quirky little movies- The Proposal with Sandra Bullock and High Fidelity with John Cusack.

And for me the only Casino Royal is the 1967 version despite what Roger Ebert says.

There is also lots of NBA Basketball (which I don’t much care for), NASCAR (which you need not watch until 6:30 or so unless something exciting like an asphalt failure happens), and PGA Golf without Tiger Woods.

My personal favorite is PBA Mixed Doubles.  It’s always fun to wear rented shoes.  Be sure and stay tuned for Bassmasters, it’s classic.

Instead of Men’s Hockey on NBC

Well, the History Channel is for Lasthorseman, just like I’m keeping my eye out for Cash Cab.  Pirates of the Carribean finale is double featured with its second first installment The Black Pearl (which I think is a better movie).  Five and a half hours of Opie, 7 hours of DEA.

You really need this update because Men’s Hockey is so fucking boring and it’s the only game in town.

Instead of Men’s Curling on CNBC

Looks to be a big Tom Hanks night on AMC.  Philadelphia is followed by Forrest Gump.  Lifetime has a thing for Ann Rule, double feature with Too Late Say Goodbye which is repeated at 11:00.  Discovery definitely has an Egyptian theme going, coming up is a double dose of Tutmania.  8 Hours of Criminal Intent on Bravo.

Vin Diesel fans will find their attention split by TNT and FX.  Will Smith fans will see Independence Day doubled up after Hitch.

Instead of Men’s Hockey on MSNBC or Ice Dancing, Men’s Super G, Men’s Ski Cross, Women’s Speed Skating, and Bobsled on NBC

Well we now know more about Discovery, the Egypt thing is an all day hype for King Tut Unwrapped.  And evidently it’s Forrest Gump week on AMC.  You know, there aren’t many movies I’d like to see 7 times in a row and Forrest Gump is certainly not one of them.

This schedule is shot through and through with repetitiveness which I’ve attempted to note with (x 2).

This schedule is shot through and through with repetitiveness which I’ve attempted to note with (x 2).

8 hours of Criminal Minds, 11 HOURS of Planet Earth.

I hope someone somewhere likes it a lot.

Me? I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.  Honestly.  It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly…  stupid.

Instead of Women’s Curling on CNBC

Perchance to Dean.  Aye, there’s the rub.

NNW is the pick of this litter, but like The Matrix we reload at Midnight.

Instead of Men’s Hockey on MSNBC

Oh, you need this update.  I keep running across this as I change channels and it’s not very entertaining at all.

Instead of Women’s Curling on MSNBC

Pfft, who am I kidding?  I got nothing.  It’s 3 freaking am, this is the what are you doing update.

Me, I’ll be taking a nap.  Tomorrow’s promotions are programmed and TheMomCat has graciously offered to take over Afternoon Edition for the day.

See you at noon for Men’s curling- USA v. Canada.

I’ll finish with a funny Golf story.

I’m not very good and I play with this guy who’s a stickler- “You know, you hit that branch on your backswing.  That’s a stroke.”

The reason he hates me is because when we come to a water hazard I’ll tee up and waggle the driver and make elaborate preparations.

Then I’ll pick up the ball, look at him and casually say, “So where’s the drop?”

We should concede now.

That way I could sleep in.

This part still under construction, expect updates.

All of them far more worth your eyeballs than NBC and its horrible coverage.

This isn’t even political, except for the lesson in activism.

Am I serious?

Dead serious.

Email- [email protected]

Oh Rose, have something to eat.

Two hundred thousand years in the future he’s dying, and there’s nothing I can do.

Well, like you said, two hundred thousand years, it’s way off!

But it’s not!  It’s now.  That fight is happening right now!  And he’s fighting for us, for the whole planet, and I’m just sitting here eating chips!

Listen to me!  God knows I have hated that man, but right now I love him, and do you know why?  Cause he did the right thing, he sent you back to me!

But what do I do every day, Mum?  What do I do?  Get up, catch the bus, go to work, come back home, eat chips and go to bed, is that it?!

It’s what the rest of us do.

But I can’t!

Why, cause you’re better than us??

NO, I didn’t mean that!  I just…  But it was.  It was a better life!

And I don’t mean all the travelling, and seeing aliens and spaceships and things, that don’t matter.

The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life.  You know, he showed you too!

That you don’t just give up!  You don’t just let things happen!

You make a stand, you say no, you have the guts to do what’s right when everyone else just runs away.

I want to make it very clear that you can use this thread to talk about the Olympics all you like.

I will be watching something else.

And you’re perfectly free to post your own essay, I might even promote it.

But to those who say that it doesn’t matter, that now that NBC has its advertisers ratings mean nothing, you couldn’t be more wrong.  They have guaranteed those advertisers a certain number of eyeballs and if NBC doesn’t make their numbers they have to give their sponsors free advertising until they do.

You have power.  You just have to have the willpower to use it.