You thought I was not serious?
Plenty of other stuff out on the Hypnotoad. Just look-
|"Television is a vast wasteland"|
Early Evening Update.
Early Primetime Update.
Late Primetime Update.
Late Night Update.
Why are you Update.
Here’s a list of things (not comprehensive) I think more worthy of your eyeballs.
Instead of Men’s Curling (Bronze) Sweden v. Switzerland on USA
|9:00||Oxygen||America’s Next Top Model||9:00|
|10:30||TCM||The Manchurian Candidate||12:30|
|10:30||ABC Family||My Girl||1:00|
|11:00||VH-1||Celebrity Rehab w/ Dr. Drew||1:00|
|12:00||AMC||The War Wagon||2:30|
|12:00||Bravo||Kell on Earth||2:00|
|12:00||ESPN||Michigan @ Ohio State||2:00|
|12:00||MTV||Turn The Beat Around||2:00|
|12:00||TNT||Mission: Impossible III||2:30|
|12:30||TCM||From Here to Eternity||2:30|
Sigh. Only 12 Hours of America’s Next Top Model.
Shanghai Noon has Jackie Chan who is always fun. The War Wagon is a John Wayne Shoot ‘Em Up. Turn The Beat Around is so new (2010) it doesn’t even have a wiki page yet.
Mission III? I think I’ve told you how I feel about Tom Cruise.
Queen Latifa, homophobia, TCM once again comes through with the class of this time period.
If you got up early enough, catch the Candidate– “Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.” I think actually this is one of Angela Landsbury’s best roles and it also has Frank Sinatra. Oddly enough injuries suffered during production kept him from taking the lead in Dirty Harry. In any event even if you didn’t watch it read the plot summary and decide for yourself- Paranoid? Or not paranoid enough?
Eternity inspired a generation or two to try making love on a beach which I have and found incredibly uncomfortable and awkward, even more so than normal. While almost all the characters are detestable, why Frank used his Mafia connections to get the role of Maggio, the gay guy who gets beaten to death by Captain McHale, is a puzzle.
That is of course unless the horse is the famous head in a bed.
I’m kind of pissed that CBS didn’t post the teams. It offends my obsession.
Instead of Speed Skating Pursuit, Snowboarding, and Cross Country on NBC
|1:00||Spike||Road House 2||3:00|
|1:00||ABC Family||My Girl 2||3:00|
|1:00||History||WW II in HD||11:00|
|1:00||TLC||What Not to Wear||3:00|
|1:00||Toon||Billy & Mandy’s Big Boogey Adventure||3:00|
|2:00||ESPN||Texas @ Texas A&M||4:00|
|2:00||CBS||North Carolina @ Wake Forest||4:00|
|2:30||TBS||I Think I Love My Wife||4:30|
|3:00||ABC Family||Nancy Drew||5:00|
|3:00||Toon||Ben 10: Alien Force||6:00|
|3:00||Comedy||Dumb & Dumberer||5:00|
|3:00||USA||Law & Order||12:00|
|4:00||CBS||Kansas at Oklahoma State||6:00|
|4:00||ESPN||Wendy’s Champions Skins Game (Champion’s Tour)||6:00|
|4:00||Disney||Wizards of Waverly Place||8:00|
|5:00||A&E||The Green Mile||8:00|
|5:00||ABC Family||Legally Blonde||7:00|
|5:00||Food||Iron Chef America||7:00|
|5:00||Lifetime||The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom||7:00|
|5:00||TCM||The Nun’s Story||8:00|
|5:00||VH-1||Celebrity Fit Club Boot Camp||7:00|
|5:00||E!||Keeping Up With the Kardashians||7:30|
Some people think because they’re stronger, or meaner, that they can push you around. I’ve seen a lot of that. But it’s only true if you let it be. The world is what you make of it.
Let me tell you about your friend Paden. A long time ago, me, Paden, Tyree, and a couple of other fellas did a lot of riding together. On business, and business was pretty good. We moved around a lot, the way you have to in that line of work. Somewhere along the way, we picked up this dog. One of us took to feeding it, so it followed us everywhere. Well, one day we’re leaving this little Missouri town, in kind of a hurry with a bunch of the locals hot on our tail. Somehow this dog got tied up with Tyree’s horse. Tyree went flyin’.
Well, Tyree was pretty mad when he got up, and, being Tyree, he shot the dog. Didn’t kill him, though. The next thing you know, Paden’s down off his horse, and he’s holdin’ this dog, sayin’ we should go on without him. I thought he was kidding, except he wasn’t. Tyree was ready to plug ’em both – all this with the posse ridin’ down on us.
I thought we were pals after all that riding we did together. All of a sudden he’s worried about some mutt. Well, we did like he asked. We left him, and he went to jail for a dog. You want to hear the funny part? Paden didn’t even like that damn dog.
It evened out in the end. They locked me up; the dog sprung me.
If you have any sense at all you’ll be watching Silverado, a truly great movie.
It’s kind of odd that Spike is running Road Host back to front. 2 is the one without Swayze. Mile is another Tom Hanks movie that’s not Forrest Gump though we’ve seen it recently.
I’ve always wondered why every alien computer is susceptable to hacking by a Mac Book, except those running any variant of Windows (which would be about 95% of them).
History has 10 full hours of High Definition carnage too painful to look at. You’ve been warned. Only 9 hours of Law & Order, but they had to make room for the Curling.
If you think this section is long, check out tomorrow’s coverage of the 2 x 3 Hour Figure Skating Exhibition Repeat (Yes Repeat because they’re showing it twice tonight) from 6 am to noon. I’ll be putting up a special edition of Alternatives at 6 to cover this time period.
Instead of Men’s Curling (Gold) Canada v. Norway on CNBC
|6:00||ESPN||Mississippi State @ South Carolina||8:00|
|6:00||Food||Iron Chef America||7:00|
|6:00||TV Land||Andy Griffith||10:00|
|6:00||VH-1||Celebrity Fit Club Boot Camp||7:00|
|7:00||ABC Family||My Fake Fiance||9:00|
|7:00||VH-1||Saturday Night Fever||9:30|
|7:00||Travel||Man v. Food||11:00|
|7:30||Spike||Rambo: First Blood Part 2||9:30|
Gotta love the pants.
ABC Family is going with a fake boyfriends theme tonight. 8 Hours of House. 8 Hours of Raging Planet.
No good movies you aren’t already watching except for maybe Office Space which has the virtue of being by Mike Judge of Bevis and Butthead and King of the Hill fame.
Instead of Alpine Skiing, 4 Man Bobsled, Men’s Parallel Snowboarding, and Figure Skating Exhibition on NBC
|8:00||ABC||Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix||11:00|
|8:00||A&E||Gone in 60 Seconds||10:30|
|8:00||AMC||Forrest Gump (x 2)||2:00|
|8:00||TNT||The Longest Yard||10:30|
|8:00||Food||Iron Chef America||4:00|
|8:30||Toon||Batman: The Brave and the Bold||9:00|
|9:00||ESPN||Villanova at Syracuse||11:00|
|9:00||ABC Family||The Wedding Date||11:00|
|9:00||Lifetime||Sydney White (x 2)||1:00|
|9:00||Oxygen||The Perfect Man (x 2)||1:00|
|9:00||SciFi||Beauty and the Beasts: A Dark Tale||11:00|
|9:30||Spike||1000 Ways to Die||4:00|
|9:30||Disney||Phineas and Ferb||10:30|
|9:30||VH-1||Celebrity Rehab w/ Dr. Drew||11:30|
So now we know it’s sorority night on Lifetime. Also that that they’re dueling Oxygen with back to back repeats. Replace Sydney with ‘Snow’ and you’l have a pretty good idea of the plot. Oxygen’s entry is a Hillary Duff vehicle, but it does include ‘Mr. Big’ for his fans.
Again Adam Sandler. Gumped again. Steve Carell is no Jim Carry.
Gone is the millenial remake of the 1974 original which is great if you’re a Nicholas Cage fan I suppose.
Hot Rod is a Will Ferrell project and if he’d been onscreen I’m sure it would have made more money.
I’ve not much to say about Harry except I’m wild about him. This episode was my first experience with IMAX 3D and it’s gut wrenching and frankly ruins the cinematography of the last 20 minutes in that Dr. Tongue’s House of Stewardesses way. I guess the other thing I have to say is that the reason I don’t much cover the over the air broadcast networks is that they don’t often show anything I want to watch.
Batman B&B is a repeat of Friday’s Justice Society episode.
Allez Cuisine! 8 Hours (count ’em) 8 Hours of Iron Chef America.
‘Nova at the Dome! Spent a lot of time in Syracuse Lifeguarding. Go Orange!
Instead of Men’s Hockey (Bronze) Slovakia v. Finland on MSNBC
|10:00||MTV||Land of the Dead (x 2)||2:00|
|10:00||Toon||King of the Hill||11:00|
|11:00||ABC Family||When Harry Met Sally||1:00|
|11:00||FX||The Fast and the Furious||1:00|
|11:00||SciFi||Beyond Sherwood Forest||1:00|
|11:00||Toon||Stroker and Hoop||11:30|
Land of the Dead is a genuine George Romero entry. Titanic the James Cameron cash cow.
Land is actually worth a look, at least at the wiki entry.
Another Tom Hanks film that’s not Gump. Beyond Sherwood Forest is a Peter DeLuise film. Not only the son of Dom, he also directed Stargate SG-1.
You’ll thank me for these listings when Hockey runs out and all you have is repeats of the Figure Skating Exhibition for the next 12 hours.
Well, from now until the Men’s Hockey Final tomorrow at noon you have nothing but repeats.
NBC Primetime coverage including the Figure Skating Exhibition (ugh) on NBC from 1 until 3:30.
Curling Gold on MSNBC from 3 to 6.
Tomorrow on MSNBC from 6 am until noon you have back to back repeats of the Figure Skating Exhibition.
I’m going to cover your choices tonight from midnight until 6 am in this essay, then I’ll put an essay covering from 6 am until noon on future publish.
At noon I’ll publish an essay covering the final events- Men’s Cross Country (50k) and the Gold Medal Hockey game as well as the Closing Ceremony, Recap, and repeat of the Closing Ceremony going to 3 am Monday.
After that you’re on your own.
|11:30||NBC||Saturday Night Live||1:00|
|12:00||A&E||Gone in 60 Seconds||2:30|
|12:00||History||WW II in HD||3:00|
|12:00||Travel||Man v. Food||3:00|
|12:00||Toon||Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood||12:30|
|1:00||Oxygen||The First Wives Club||3:00|
|1:00||SciFi||Beauty and the Beasts: A Dark Tale||3:00|
|1:30||TCM||Gold Diggers of 1935||3:30|
|1:30||TNT||Mission: Impossible III||4:00|
Despite the critics I liked First Wives. Gold Diggers is one of those Busby Berkeley things that he’s so famous for. Tom Cruise is still a waste of time and Silverado is not.
FLCL is just plain wierd.
Instead of the repeat of Men’s Curling (Gold) Canada v. Norway on MSNBC
|3:00||SciFi||Merlin and the War of the Dragons||5:00|
|3:00||VH-1||Celebrity Fit Club Boot Camp||4:00|
|3:00||Disney||Halloweentown 2: Kalabar’s Revenge||4:30|
|3:30||Toon||Ghost in the Shell||4:00|
|4:00||TNT||Law & Order||1:00|
|4:00||TV Land||Three’s Company||6:00|
|4:00||Toon||Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood||4:30|
Bonus! 9 Hours of Law & Order!
Ghost in the Shell will be running an Olympics related episode- Ag2O.
Smilin’ Through is the 1932 version with Norma Shearer and Fredric March.
Stage Door stars Katharine Hepburn, Ginger Rogers, Adolphe Menjou, Gail Patrick, Constance Collier, Andrea Leeds, Samuel S. Hinds, and Lucille Ball.
This part still under construction, expect updates.
All of them far more worth your eyeballs than NBC and its horrible coverage.
This isn’t even political, except for the lesson in activism.
Am I serious?
Oh Rose, have something to eat.
Two hundred thousand years in the future he’s dying, and there’s nothing I can do.
Well, like you said, two hundred thousand years, it’s way off!
But it’s not! It’s now. That fight is happening right now! And he’s fighting for us, for the whole planet, and I’m just sitting here eating chips!
Listen to me! God knows I have hated that man, but right now I love him, and do you know why? Cause he did the right thing, he sent you back to me!
But what do I do every day, Mum? What do I do? Get up, catch the bus, go to work, come back home, eat chips and go to bed, is that it?!
It’s what the rest of us do.
But I can’t!
Why, cause you’re better than us??
NO, I didn’t mean that! I just… But it was. It was a better life!
And I don’t mean all the travelling, and seeing aliens and spaceships and things, that don’t matter.
The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. You know, he showed you too!
That you don’t just give up! You don’t just let things happen!
You make a stand, you say no, you have the guts to do what’s right when everyone else just runs away.
I want to make it very clear that you can use this thread to talk about the Olympics all you like.
I will be watching something else.
And you’re perfectly free to post your own essay, I might even promote it.
But to those who say that it doesn’t matter, that now that NBC has its advertisers ratings mean nothing, you couldn’t be more wrong. They have guaranteed those advertisers a certain number of eyeballs and if NBC doesn’t make their numbers they have to give their sponsors free advertising until they do.
You have power. You just have to have the willpower to use it.