(11 AM – promoted by TheMomCat)
“Hello, DNC, I wish to register a complaint.”
“Sorry, we’re closing for lunch.”
“Never mind that. I wish to complain about this Party you sold me.”
“Oh yes . . . the . . . uh, the Democratic Party. Uh . . . what’s wrong with it?”
“I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it. It’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it.”
“No, no, it’s . . . uh . . . it’s resting.”
“Look, I know a dead Party when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.”
“No, no, it’s not dead, it’s . . . it’s resting. Remarkable Party, the Democratic Party, isn’t it? Beautiful plumage!”
“The plumage don’t enter into it. It’s stone dead.”
“No, no, no. It’s just resting.”
“All right then, if it’s resting, I’ll wake it up. Hello, Democrats! Hello! I’ve got a lovely contribution for you if you–”
“There! It moved!”
“No, it didn’t move. That was Obamabots hitting the cage.”
“No, they–”
“I’ll try this one more time. HELLO DEMOCRATS! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your 2010 wake up call!”
“It worked!”
“No, it didn’t work. I took every Democrat out of that Centrist Cage you put them in, thumped their heads on Pennsylvania Avenue, tossed them up in the air, and the whole country saw them plummet to the ground and just lay there. It’s a dead Party.”
“No, no . . . it’s just stunned.”
“Stunned?”
“Yeah! You stunned them, just when they were waking up! The Democratic Party stuns easily.”
“Now look, I’ve had enough of this. That Party is definitely deceased. When I came here last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out from never having enough votes.”
“Well, it’s . . . it’s probably pining for a bigger majority in Congress . . .”
“Pining for a bigger majority? It has the biggest majority in decades, but it fell flat on it’s back right after the election.”
“The Democratic Party prefers lying on it’s back. Remarkable Party isn’t it? Lovely plumage!”
“Look, I took the liberty of examining that Party when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason it looked like it was still alive was that it had been nailed to that Not Enough Votes Perch.”
“Well, of course it was nailed there! If we hadn’t nailed it there, it would have nuzzled up to the bars on its Centrist Cage, tore them apart with its bare hands, and VOOM, it would have–”
“Voom? That Party wouldn’t voom if you put four million volts through it. It’s demised.”
“No . . . no . . . it’s pining for–”
“It’s not pining. It’s passed on. That Party is no more. It has ceased to be. It’s expired and gone to meet its maker. It’s an ex-Party. It’s a stiff. Bereft of life. It rests in peace. It’s metabolic processes are history. It’s off the twig. It’s kicked the bucket, it’s shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain, and joined the choir invisible.”
“Well . . . maybe we’d better replace it, then.”
“Yeah, maybe we’d better.”
(Cross-posted at Firedoglake)
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I think we can forgo the autopsy. The cause of death is pretty obvious, they ignored all the warning signs that thye needed to quit smoking the hopium
That’s it!!!!
How do you forget the best one?!
… its alive and well and playing the role of the “wet” conservative wing of the Corporate party to the “dry” conservative wing played by the Republicans. The collaboration between the wealth management sector of the economy and the resource exploitation sector of the economy in making sure that the workforce, consumers, and productive enterprises do not take the bit between the teeth and make a run for it has survived several scares in the past several years …
… but while a little frayed around the edges, still seems to be largely intact.
should change their symbol from Donkey to Possum. Donkeys do their own thing, when they want to, stubborn little buggers. Opossums, on the other hand are shy, easily stunned and fall over when faced with difficulties. In fact play dead and can then be moved anywhere. Perfect symbol!
and has been for a long time. Even the zombie incarnations can’t make them appear to live anymore.
… the health care bill, per what I heard on C span quoting MSNBC.
Nice wedge job, Stupak, in trying to get the guilty feeling blue dogs to commit first.
Somebody on GOS is asking why Loretta Sanchez is flaking on this when she has a safe latino district. How dumb can one get? She’s going to go home and tell them she voted for a bill that prohibits some of them from even being able to purchase insurance with their own money? Funny how they want to take their money for everything else.
Racist bill. Pander too much and you deserve to lose the base, Democrats.