Dialogue……………….

There are many styles/forms of communication……….

lately I have been trying to look at four…

these are by no means the only ones which exist…

just a parsing of my own mind along the the conversations I have had……

I always begin with the notion that a conversation requires more than one participant……

at least 2 participants………….

and it is always an extension of scope to have a conversation amongst many…….

what if more than two could have an intentional conversation…..

a conversation whose intention was to seek the solution to the survival of life……

or more specifically a conversation whose intention was to seek the optimal path for life through the changes to come whatever they may be…….

crawl, walk, run, a progression of integration……

beginning with two since a conversation with your self is boring…….

it is also potentially degenerate and a path to psychosis……

you need another to find the path to life….

it takes a minimum of two to have a conversation which is a path to life……

and if either participant leaves the conversation….

then the exchange ceases to be a conversation which leads to the survival of life…….

a majority of the conversations I have fall into these four categories…..

lecturing, argument, discussions, dialogue…..

and these categories are not absolute, nor all inclusive, just convenient……

they exist by declaration only not in any absolute way…..

so you can parse conversation any way you wish, these categories do not in any way limit any other conversation……

the conversations which I am referring to share certain characteristics…..

the continuums of symmetry,listening, purpose/goals…..

the characteristic of symmetry……

whether it is symmetrical or asymmetrical,adversarial, nonadversarial,cooperative……

the characteristic of listening…..

whether it is fully qualified, semi qualified, or non qualified……..

the characteristic of purpose/goals…..

acquisition of information, conferring of information, submission of silence(last word), submission of non disagreement, agreement, understanding

lecturing agreement non sequitur

    2 sided

    asymmetrical/nonadversarial

         1 side speaks -> 1 side listens

         fully qualified listening on one side and semi qualified listening on one side

         purpose of attention is to acquire information or confer information

argument look for disagreement ignore agreement

    2 sided

         symmetrical/adversarial

         qualified listening on two sides

         purpose of attention is to win

               winning is to have the last word

               winning is to get agreement with the listeners point of view

discourse look for agreement look for disagreement

    2 sided

        symmetrical/nonadversarial

        semi qualified listening on two sides

        purpose of attention is to persuade

               having the last word is not as important as having no open disagreement

dialogue exploring the others point of view

    2 sided

        symmetrical/cooperative

        non qualified listening on two sides

        purpose of the attention is to understand

               agreement is not the goal

               the goal is for individuals to each gain something new from the communication with regard to the other………

I find that most political conversations are in the style of lecturing, or argument……..

sometimes they are in the style of discourse……

seldom do they venture into the style of dialogue…….

the style of communication an individual selects when engaging in communication often is determined by their purpose/goal…..

this guides the qualification of listening…….

and the symmetry of the conversation flows from there……

one of the hallmarks of dialogue……

is the presence of questions whose purpose is greater understanding of another’s views……

the lack of this kind of inquiry is an indication that the individuals are engaging in lecturing, argument, or discourse…….

in discourse inquiry exists but is limited to questions which do not create disagreement….

this is the domain of the undiscussable………

but does not include inquiry which seeks to understand the other……

only dialogue does……

in argument inquiry is limited to domination, subtle or overt, winning……

this the domain of denial………

in lecturing inquiry is limited to the acquisition of information or the conferring of information….

this is the domain of disinterest…….

more and more I am only willing to engage in dialogue….

dialogue is not something I know how to do very well….

but never the less it is something I am drawn to learn and something I thirst for……

nothing else is palatable………

since the style of communication is an outcome…….

an outcome of the the purpose/goal in the conversation of the participants……

it is derived from their intentions…..

it is rare to find individuals whose purpose in communication is understanding of another……….

consequently dialogue is rare……..

because this is at across purpose with my desire to understand…….

I am seeking the view of others……

I am seeking others that seek what I seek in this one domain…….

I seek much more but know enough to not bite off too much in any one engagement one with another………

what do you think about these categories……

I know they are not all inclusive…..

but that is purposeful……

so as not to bite off too much in one conversation…….

so having said that I re offer the question….

what do you think…….

exploring the continuums of symmetry,listening, and purpose/goals…….

what is your impression of each…….

do you seek some and avoid others…..

more importantly do you seek understanding or something else…..

each of us has an organizing intention which selects our goals/purposes…….

which determines our styles of communication…….

and this is something that is changing through time……..

I seek individuals to learn dialogue with……

not in one conversation but for what ever time I have left…….

crawl, walk, run, the progression of integration………..

and I am convinced that this is the only style which will allow the human race to enact the solution to our current challenges as a species on this mother earth…..

and it is my deep prayer that we find our way through the inevitable changes in front of us…….

so I dream of many individuals all committed to integrating dialogue to seek out the integration necessary to manifest the change that they seek…..

I have no word for that which adequately expresses the character of the communication……

and the world it makes possible……..

but the possibility of it is the hunger of my soul……

I seek folks to teach me dialogue……

because dialogue is present when understanding is present…..

and understanding can only be present when declared by the other…….

and that requires the declaration of others…….

it requires more than one…….

and life requires as many as possible……..

to generate the optimal available opportunity space for all of the life going through the changes in front of us……….

teach me……