On Having A Laugh, Or, Porn Never Looked So Good

(4PM EST – promoted by Nightprowlkitty)

What with nuclear disarmament, a Supreme Court nomination, and the looming possibility that I may actually have to shovel my driveway all falling upon our heads at once, we are not going to have a lot of free time over the next few days–so we better have some fun while we can.

To get it going, I have a couple of videos for your dining and dancing pleasure…videos that are each, in their own way, so crazy that you will be talking about them, from now until the time we get around to some of that more serious stuff–and possibly for quite a while after that.

Let’s start with the funny.

Who doesn’t love The Big Lebowski?

It’s a slice of genius, brought to you by the Cohen Brothers and Busby Berkeley, and for those of you who have never seen the film…oh, you really must.

John Goodman, John Turturro, Jeff Bridges, laying down an epic performance as “The Dude”, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi…this movie is truly one of the greatest weird cinematic creations ever, and picking it up this weekend might be a good idea, especially if you’re planning on a bit of drinking, which can only make this good thing even better.

Now, if you know this film, imagine how much fun it would be if someone produced a high-quality porn remake of the thing?

Guess what?

Somebody did…

New Sensations made “The Big Lebowski – A XXX Parody”, and after the first sixteen weeks of production (all of it spent on trying to figure out a better title) they went right to work making what is, without a doubt, the funniest porn trailer of all time.

Tom Byron, Peter O’Tool (and how happy do you think he was when he found out Peter O’Tool wasn’t already taken?), Kimberly Kane, and James Deen, and Eddie Adams (“I’m knockin’ ’em down like cocks…”) fill out the cast. Lee Roy Myers, who specializes in this kind of thing, directs.

Here’s the good part: the trailer is PG enough that you won’t get in trouble with the boss, and here’s another tip: see the thing in 1080p, and blow it up to full-screen. It’s cinematically lovely, in addition to being hilarious–and it sounds nice, too, so pop on the headphones.

OK, so this next film is freaky, freaky, freaky, and you will not forget this anytime soon.

You know those “roly-poly” bugs that you played with as a kid? The ones that would roll themselves up into a little ball if they were frightened?

Well, it turns out that they belong to a crazy group of animals knows as Isopods, which are crustaceans, not insects.

There are more than 10,000 kinds of isopods, and they live on land and under water. That really creepy parasite that eats a fish’s tongue and then replaces it is an isopod, as is this bizarre little thing.

They also get big.

If you were drinking because of that earlier trailer…you might actually regret that now…but then again, drinking without regret isn’t nearly as much fun, so with that in mind:

Try to picture a roly-poly bug that’s…oh, I don’t know, a couple of feet long or so, that spends its life crawling around the bottom of the ocean. Now try to picture a whole group of ’em, swarming on a dead fish as they fight for dinner with a group of equally hungry eels.

Hey, you know what?

You don’t have to picture it. Instead, you can see it for yourself, right here:

Was that just bizarre, or what?

I think that’s about enough for today, so go enjoy your weekend–and if you ever have to come up with a ghost story, ever again, in your entire life…I’d suggest the giant isopods or the tongue-replacing isopod should be the focus of the tale.  

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13 comments

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  1. …and just for the record, the fish being eaten is reportedly a tuna.

  2. And I thought this was an essay about Stormy Daniels who’s running against Vitter. As a Republican, I might add, because “…the Republicans best espouse what she called her “libertarian” views about sex and money.” HeHe, I love her!

    • Edger on April 11, 2010 at 12:15 am
    • rossl on April 11, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    Jackie Treehorn, right?

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