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I have been threatening to write this for some time and finally got around to it. The hard core conservative pundits have no compunction about calling their political opponents different names (“Rahm, Rahmbo, Dead Fish”, for example) and sometime the progressive pundits do the same.
However, the more progressive pundits have better manners than the conservative ones. Since I have no manners at all, I have no compunction for making up names. Ed Schultz does quite a few, like Slant Head and The Drugster, but I find them sort of weak. Olbermann did better with Lonesome Rhodes, but that still does not have as much punch as I would like.
To make this more fun, I shall list some names and give sort of riddle as a hint, and then ask readers to guess the identity of the person in a comment. If you have better ones, or if I leave out a favorite target of yours, please comment as well.
Before we continue with this piece, please allow me to congratulate Keith Olbermann for bringing back Worst Persons in the World. This is one of the few venues that extremely serious questions are posited in not only an insightful, but indeed an humorous manner. Please join me in welcoming this wonderful bit of his important program back after too long a hiatus.
Speaking of Keith, it looks like the management at MSNBC has done the right thing, or at least the fair thing, by suspending Joe Scarborough for making political contributions. While I disagree with the policy, at least they seem to be applying it more fairly. It had been known that Scarborough had done it, and finally the other shoe dropped.
This is an audience participation post tonight, so the more input the better. Here are my criteria for a good name: first, it has to describe the person in a manner that is not so obtuse that someone would have to be aware of an inside joke. Second, any physical appearance, sexual identity (although gender descriptors, like Prince or Princess, are acceptable), or other cruel references are not allowed. Third, except in very unusual circumstances, single word names are not allowed (definite and indefinite articles not counting).
Most of these people are regular Fox “News” Channel contributors, but not all are. Almost all of them are well known to the progressive community, and have, for the most part, wingnut opinions. These persons appear in no particular order, except my stream of consciousness.
To start, I have in the past referred to a certain pundit as The SOBber. In keeping with my third rule, I have renamed him The SOBbing Alarmist. The riddle is that he is sometimes referred to as being lonesome. OK, that not that good a riddle.
That leads to the soon to be sworn in The SOBber of the House. The riddle in included in the name itself. Whilst not a pundit, he might as well be.
How about Former Almost Ambassador Dolt’un? Name and riddle are once again self contained here.
On Sundays, there is often a pundit whom I call The Cabbage Club. The riddle is that one has to have ein Bißchen Deutsch to decode that one.
On that same show, there is another commenter that might be termed The Englishman without Humor. I had a better name, but it would have violated my second rule, and he is not really English.
Then there is the vile woman whom I call The Spawn of Aleister. That one is pretty obtuse (both the name and the pundit), but she used to work for damned old Nixon.
With apologies to the late J. P. Richardson, Jr., there is The Big Bloviator, the current reigning blowhard. You should have no trouble with this one. It almost, but does not quite, violate my second rule. Since The Big Bloviator has no respect for any aspect of anyone’s appearance, I shall let this one stand.
Of course, let us not forget The Long Island Loudmouth. I think that this is a bit more apt than my old name for him, because of alliteration considerations. He has been mentioned before in this post by a name that someone else has given him.
By the way, on his show Wednesday night (20101117) on The FOX “News” Channel, he had a guest whom I call, because of her extremely peevish behavior that night, The Petulant Princess. I have looked high and low for a clip of this panel discussion to no avail. Hopefully someone reading can find it. It shows her for just what she is. This clip is so rich that I will use her name, Ann Coulter, and hope that someone can find the clip where Peter Johnson (I THINK that is was he) absolutely took her apart! She whines that she was not allowed to answer to his points, but she kept using her talking points instead. He called her out on that, and then she cried to Hannity to save her. When he did not, she demanded that Hannity use his “cut off” button, then swore that she would NEVER appear on camera with Johnson again. Thus the name, The Petulant Princess. Please folks, help me find the clip. If you forward it in a comment, I will add it here and credit you for finding it.
I found the video, but the embed code does not work. Here is the link to it:
http://www.newshounds.us/2010/…
Another female pundit with a very nasty attitude is whom I call The Menacing Malcontent. Mainly she babbles nonsense, but that describes lots of those folks. Alliteration works well here, since her real name is similarly crafted, and even several vowels in my name correspond with the ones in her real name.
Another female host on that particular “News” channel is whom I call Gertie van Shrill. I apologize the the producers of the old Tom Slick cartoon where Gertie Growler was one of the good folks.
One of the very most offensive hosts on that channel is The IBS Man. That is a fairly long reach, but you will think of it sometime around three AM Eastern. Hopefully you can think of a better title for him. His name does not give a lot with which to work, and I will not violate my second rule.
By that way, the program that he hosts is one of the most offensive in the FOX lineup. It has all of the political jabs and distortion of fact that FOX has mastered, along with sexually innuendo humor that I might have found amusing when I was 12 years old. This might lead to a better name, since he is so juvenile. Remember, “Master” is the title for a juvenile male, so how about Master Bates?
So, so many more to go! I have only skimmed the top, and will produce a few more.
There is one who used to work in The White House that has his own scatological title already, so I might not be able to improve on it. Does anyone have a better name for him than Turdblossom? Sometimes it is not wise to monkey with perfection.
I will not use a derogatory nickname for anyone who has held the office of President of the United States, as much as I am tempted to do for former President Bush, but for one exception. I still call damned old Nixon damned old Nixon since he had to quit, and so he sullied the office.
Now, there is The Baby Wendell, trying hard to be a governor. The scary staircase shot pretty much ruined his chances, but The Long Island Loudmouth still promotes him. This guy is both small minded and ideological to the point of being ridiculous.
Another name that I like better than The Dog Man, who someone else gave him, is The Prick in the Sanatorium. Just who might that be?
Well, I said that this is an audience participation installment this time, so please guess who I mean, suggest better names, and add characters who, I have left out of the list. Look for Pique the Geek Sunday evening when I go through the impact of the pending tax legislation and the fallacy that allowing the 39.6% tax rate to return hurting “small business”.
Finally, I need some help in identifying a coin that I found today. Here are pictures of it. It appears to be from a Muslim country, as it looks to have a representation of a mosque on the rear. Any assistance would be appreciated.
Obverse
Reverse
Its diameter is 0.787 inches, or 20.00 mm and the thickness is 0.073 inches, or 1.86 mm. It appears to made of bronze.
UPDATE: I identified the coin. It is a Pakistani 1 rupee coin.
Thanks for the help, and warmest regards,
Doc
Featured at Thestarshollowgazette.com. Crossposted at Dailykos.com
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a humorous Friday evening?
Warmest regards,
Doc